zondag 11 augustus 2013

D/s relationships, how to make them work!

Some people think that it takes something special to make a D/s relationship work or some even believe that a D/s relationship won´t work on the long run. But to be honest, a D/s relationship isn´t that different compared to a vanilla relationship. It´s still about two people loving eachother, trusting eachother and spending time with eachother. The things you do in the relationship are a bit different though.

First of all you need someone that fits well with you, so having the same interests and kinks definately helps. But it´s not like you have different kinks that you can´t be together, as long as you can please eachother then I´m certain you can work things out. Just remember that if you have a fantasy of being in a gangbang that you partner might not like that, some don´t always say it but it´s nice if you think about the other every now and then. But it´s not just restricted to that, sometimes people just don´t like things and you can´t force them to like them if you want the relationship to work!

Trust is very important in every relationship, so a D/s relationship isn´t the exception. If you can´t trust the person you´re with then how can it ever work? If your partner ties you up and you don´t trust him or her, then you´re in for one scary experience! Trust must be earned, never easily given. Just because someone is a Dom/Domme doesn´t mean he or she is to be trusted. Anyone can call himself or herself a Dom/Domme. If you get to know someone and you have a mutual attraction then you can explore that or just go straight for sex. I would suggest using rubber, not just for protection but also to keep things spicy. I mean you´re in a D/s relationship so leave your vanilla coat at the door!

Are there really D/s couples that have been together for many years? As a matter of fact there are couples like that, it´s true that not everyone feels that way in a D/s relationship but it´s definately not impossible. If you´re interested in a long term relationship then it´s probably smart to mention this at the start, if the other just wants to fool around then it could be awkward to bring it up in bed after sex. So communication is also important, just like in a vanilla relationship.

Where do you find people interested in such relationships? Well check your local BDSM meetings or a fetish dating site. But it might be strange to talk to someone you just met and asking them to be in a D/s relationship with you, so don´t be a tool and go straight for the prize. Get to know the other and see if there´s a connection. Find out what the other likes and maybe you can use that to seduce them. For example if someone likes latex then wear latex, the same counts for anything else. But I would warn you to be careful that you don´t get carried away, you don´t want to tattoo yourself and then find out it was all for nothing. Also try not to be too much invested, dedication is nice but obsession is creepy!

Good luck!

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