zaterdag 29 juni 2013

Dangerous or exciting?

Why is it that the dangerous things in life are also the most exciting? Getting spanked with a whip isn´t that exciting, but when someone holds a knife to your throat things get hot. Sure you feel fear, things become uncertain, but there is also excitement. Maybe it´s wrong, a twisted way of getting horny. But looking at all the things that can excite you, is danger really the strangest thing?

I have a friend that likes to go out at night, walk alone on deserted roads and experience the thrill of the night. It´s dangerous, but she´s not looking for trouble. I guess she just likes the thrill of it, to be out alone and to experience this threat that could lurk behind every corner. Of course she doesn´t want bad to happen to her, but I can´t help but wonder if deep down she might yearn a bit too much for danger instead of excitement.

Why can´t it be both? To crave for danger and excitement, a develish duo ready for pleasure. I love darkness, to embrace the unknown but I don´t feel excitement for walking alone at night on deserted roads. Sure it would probably be quite the experience and I won´t say that it´s stupid to get aroused by that, but it´s probably something personal and not something for everyone. Still that doesn´t make it wrong, I´d say it makes you different but not wrong.

I´ll spare you the title of the movie but there is this line in it that made sense to me, it goes like this: "what´s the point of living if you can´t feel alive?" Sure you can be safe in your castle and look at the world through your windows, but are you really experiencing life? Are you going to be content at the end of your journey? Not every path has to be a dangerous one, but to find your limits you have to explore and discover yourself in the process. Which might lead to some suprising information about you. Just remember that it´s not wrong to desire danger, but it´s wrong to deny yourself from something you want.

vrijdag 28 juni 2013

Laces or zipper?

I hear often that people prefer laces over a zipper, they claim that laces are more sensual and thus build up more sexual tension. But is that really true? Aren´t zippers just as sensual, sure it´s easier and faster to use zippers but that doesn´t mean that everything has to go fast. Another good thing about zippers is that they don´t always stand out so much, on my black boots you can hardly see the zippers and with laces that´s not always the case. But I guess we all have our own preference.

No matter how much I like zippers I still hold love for laces, for a corset I definately prefer laces. You can wear it tighter, so tight that my breasts almost pop out. Then you know that it´s good, when things are tight. Like my choker, which makes it harder for me to breath and yet it feels just that much better. Zippers give you more room to breath, as they are less tight and are more for being comfortable. Something I prefer with boots, I like it tight but not too tight that my feet can´t breath.

But no matter how much you like laces and zippers, in the end people won´t concentrate on such things when you´re wearing a tight latex catsuit or when you wear thigh high boots. But a nice compliment to your clothes can make a difference, when a sub uses his or her mouth to unzip you. The same can be said about laces, though that might be a bit more difficult. But practice makes perfect!!!!

It doesn´t really matter what you use, both have beautiful qualities and it´s not always easy to choose. Like black thigh high boots look beautiful with red laces, but they also look nice with a black zipper because that camouflages it and makes it look like the boots are a part of you. Unfortunately there is also a downside for both laces and zippers. A zipper can get stuck, which makes it annoying to get out of boots or pants. Laces can get into a knot, which can be difficult to get out of. Still it´s nothing that should keep you from using them, both for practical and sensual use!

woensdag 26 juni 2013

Only in the bedroom Dom/Domme

Lately I´ve been hearing negative things about Doms/Dommes that are only a Dom/Domme at home, but when they go outside then they drop their role. So let me first say that I didn´t think being a Dom/Domme was a role, sure you have roleplay but being a Dom/Domme is more than playing a role. Also is it so wrong that you´re only a Dom/Domme inside the house? I mean if you have family, friends or neighbours that don´t understand it and most likely won´t accept you as a Dom/Domme, then I can understand why you wouldn´t feel comfortable outside the house. It´s not that as a Dom/Domme that you have no fears or hesitations, in the end you´re human just like the rest.

Some people seem to think that being Dom/Domme is like a switch you can turn on and off, well I can say with certain that this isn´t the truth. You´re either a Dom/Domme or you´re not, sure you can be a switch but the point is that there isn´t an off button for being a Dom/Domme. Then there are some that believe that if you don´t wear certain clothes you´re not a Dom/Domme, as if every Dom/Domme wears latex or leather. I know that there is a stereotype for the typical Dom/Domme, but that doesn´t mean that this is how you have to act or look to be accepted as a Dom/Domme.

Just because you only show your Dom/Domme side in the bedroom, doesn´t mean that you´re less dominant than a Dom/Domme who shows his or her dominant side outside the house. It´s not a contest who the most dominant is, though some would like to believe that it is. Though just putting on some thigh high boots, with a whip in hand and commanding other people doesn´t really make you a Dom/Domme. Let´s just say if you have doubts if you´re a Dom/Domme, then you´re probably not one, though you could be a switch which could give you some confusion. Everything isn´t always that clear, at least not as clear as you would like it to be. Sometimes you have to discover and explore, find out who you are and what you like.

So this whole you´re less dominant just because you´re only a Dom/Domme in the bedroom makes no sense, actually it would only prove that the one saying it probably knows less about domination and being a Dom/Domme than the one who he or she accuses. Love and respect your fellow Dom/Domme, they might do things different than you but does that really make them less than you?

maandag 24 juni 2013

It´s not my thing but I like to see it

A lot of times I get messages from people that like to see me in latex, but then they quickly mention that they don´t like to wear it themselves. It´s the same type of response I get from people that love me for being goth, they like to see me as a goth but have nothing with it themselves. I´m not saying that it´s weird, but I don´t really understand what they expect from me. Because often these messages are full of remarks how beautiful I am and how much they want me. But what about me? I see a boring guy or girl that doens´t want to wear latex, has nothing with anything goth and I´m supposed to roll over and play fuck doll?

Now don´t get me wrong, I appreciate compliments but I´m sick and tired of being approached by losers who have nothing with the things I love and yet they want to be more than just a friend. I´ll make this pretty clear here, I don´t have any interest in people who don´t like latex or leather! I´ve been in vanilla relationships and they´re boring as hell, well maybe not as hell but boring nonetheless.

Some people don´t understand that in a relationship it´s give and take, well in a D/s relationship one takes a bit more than he or she gives but still it comes down to the same thing. I always point these type of people towards a dvd, rent a movie with women in latex and you´ll have a good time. For example the Matrix has a fair share of latex lovelies.

If you´re interested in someone who has a fetish for latex or leather, then it definately works in your favour if you have that same interest. Not just to look at but also to wear it yourself, if you don´t share this passion then it might be difficult to get close to someone like that. I don´t think everyone would see the need for this shared passion but I think it will definately work in your advantage.

zaterdag 22 juni 2013

Naughty dreams

Sometimes people ask me how I sleep, well I have to admit I sleep like everyone else in a bed. Though I do have a coffin, which keeps me cool on a hot and sunny day. But under normal circumstances I prefer to sleep in a bed, I´m not an animal....well not all the time!!!! But when it comes to what I wear in bed then I have to admit it´s not always as spicy as you might think. Sleeping in latex is nice but sometimes it´s not that comfortable, especially when it´s hot.

When I sleep alone I don´t always feel the need to dress up, I´m not in bed to please myself.....well not all the time!!!! Sometimes it´s nice to dress up, to feel sexy and wanted. But when there is no one else around to appreciate it, then you can lose interest quickly. Though making some naughty pictures is nice, which give me a smile later and if I feel like sharing they do even more for others.

So what´s nice to wear in bed? Well that depends on the weather, if it´s hot then you want to avoid clothing that makes you sweat. Trust me when I say that you won´t get much sleep and I don´t mean that in a good way! But when it´s not so hot then latex is a good way to stay comfortable during the cold nights. Some latex stockings and a latex body suit can do wonders, I guess you could also wear a catsuit but I prefer to let a part of my body breath when I go to sleep. When it´s too hot for latex you could switch so silk, which might not sound that appealing at first but it still has a shiny and soft effect on your skin. Also less is better when it´s hot, though I prefer not to go full nude in bed....well not all the time!!!!

I guess you have to figure out what makes you feel comfortable in the middle of the night, if you want to feel sexy or if you just want to get some sleep. Either way I´m certain you´ll have your naughty dreams, if not then maybe this of me picture might help....it helps me all the time!!!!

donderdag 20 juni 2013

Going to hell?

No I´m not talking about the weather, sure it´s hot as hell here but that´s not the reason why I want to bring this up.I´m talking about doing something that´s quite forbidden, like the forbidden fruit and it´s just as juicy. Do you have no idea what I´m talking about? Well I´m talking about the rubber nun fantasy!!!! No I don´t mean one of those stiff, stuck up women from a monestary. I´m talking about a woman in a rubber nun outfit, who looks shiny and delicious at the same time. Someone that gets on her knees and knows how to give you a good time, who is divine with not just her hands but also her tongue.

But why is it so appealing? This whole fetish about a rubber nun? Maybe it´s because a nun is forbidden, like for some men a lesbian is the ultimate fetish as she´s not interested in you but the desire to make her interested in you makes it worth the try. Though I would have to warn men with this desire that this won´t work if the woman truly is lesbian, it does mean that she´s only interested in women. Anyway a nun is a woman who devotes her life to serving God, which also means no sex with men (or women for that matter). It´s always the one thing you can´t have, but what you want that makes it so interesting. Though it could be that you´re just into rubber and like the nun outfit because it´s a long outfit with a lot of rubber!!!!

Wether you believe in God or not, I think it´s safe to say that this fantasy is blasphemy in one way or another. So is it worth it? Worth going to hell for a fantasy? Well if the sex is good and the memories last a long time then I´d say yes. Besides who knows what kind of naughty nuns you´ll find down there!!!!

maandag 17 juni 2013

Real Doms/Dommes?

Often I wonder how some people have the nerve to call themselves a Dom/Domme, I mean in their actions and also words they prove the complete opposite. Now I´m not here to judge, because we all have our moments where things are a bit less glorious. But when I see some Doms/Dommes slaughter someone in a forum just because he doesn´t fit to their standards, I can´t help but wonder who they think they are. I have to admit the person who they butchered didn´t come over as the sharpest tool in the shed, no question about that, but then to talk so high and mighty as if what they say is what counts. That´s the part where I lose my respect for them, such arrogance and such ignorance.

Maybe that´s part of being a real Dom/Domme, to talk high and mighty. To think you´re better than everyone else and that only your opinion matters. Now as nice as this might sound, this is not the truth. First of all you´re a person, you have opinions and there is nothing wrong with that. But to think that your opinion is the one that truly matters and that it is a fact just because you think it is makes me sick.

I don´t hold all the answers, my opinion isn´t the law and I never thought that it was or will be. Probably one of the first things you´ll say to your sub is know your place, but looking at some of these Doms/Dommes I wonder who´s going to tell them? They observe conversations from their thrones high above the masses, then to intervene with their divine words of wisdom and so he or she has spoken his or her words of truth which must then be accepted as facts. But these small minded creatures don´t seem to understand that they are but a splinter in the claw of BDSM, they´re irritating but nothing that can´t be removed!

What is a real Dom/Domme? Well I´d say someone that respects his or her sub, someone that respects the opinions of others even when his or her own opinion is in conflict with that specific opinion. But to be honest with you I don´t like the term real in front of Dom/Domme, you either are or you are not!

zaterdag 15 juni 2013

Casual but kinky

Now that the temperature is rising, with a lot of sun and not much shade, it´s not easy to walk in latex or leather. Sure for some lovers, like me, it´s difficult to let go and so you keep wearing it until you drop. But you don´t have to, there are other clothes that also have a stimulant effect on your fetish side. Though this might not be the same for everyone, I know that I have certain interests outside the latex and leather outfits.

Personally I love riding clothes, some shiny boots and some tight riding pants that leave little to imagination. Add a whip to that and you have one of my favourite Summer outfits! People seem to find it less odd when I walk with a whip in riding clothes then when I walk with a whip in a latex catsuit. But some wetlook leggings also have this nice shiny effect on me, it´s not quite the same but works well enough for me to excite me. I also love the goth look, which is what I would normally wear before I embraced my fetish side. But I never lost the love for the goth look, anything dark and ominous looks good on me and I like to wear it as well.

Unfortunately black isn´t the colour you want to wear in the Summer, unless you´re as stubborn as me and keep wearing it anyway. So what looks hot and yet keeps you cool? I´d say red is a good eye catcher, wear a red dress with black boots and you´ll be like a lighthouse in the middle of a storm because you´ll draw a lot of people towards you. But blue is also a cool colour, it´s a safe colour as well because blue jeans don´t really stick out in a crowd. So if you like to be more casual and blend in that´s a safe choice, but if you´re used to wearing latex out in public I doubt you would want to play it safe.

Of course you can always keep a part of your clothing in your fetish style, like some leather underwear for example. It might suprise a vanilla lover, that under those blue jeans some kinky shorts appear. But isn´t that half of the fun? To be something more than people first thought you were. Like some piercings through your nipples, now that´s something I would always consider as a pleasant suprise. So blend in people, fool the vanilla crowd with your casual outfits but keep the naughty parts always close to your private parts!!!!

donderdag 13 juni 2013

Disobedience

In a BDSM relationship or during a session there is a dynamic between a Dom/Domme and his or her sub. The Dom/Domme makes the rules, the sub follows the rules. But of course there isn´t much fun if the sub always follows the rules, so a lot of subs will deliberately disobey so he or she will be punished. As suprising as this might sound, this brings happiness to both the Dom/Domme and the sub. But it´s not always good, not everyone is always happy with the outcome.

Some subs complain that their Dom/Domme doesn´t punish them enough, they feel like they can get away with it and have this empty feeling of satisfaction about it. I think it´s safe to say that a sub doesn´t want to feel like he or she can get away with it. They complain to their Dom/Domme, which has not always the effect a sub would want. Because not every Dom/Domme believes in severe punishment, but then again not every sub is the right fit for a Dom/Domme.

It´s difficult for subs to find the right Dom/Domme for him or her, but because there are so many different types of dominants there should always be someone for you. Communication is important, just as it is in a vanilla relationship. If a sub wishes to be punished more severly, then he or she can make this request to her Dom/Domme. Just don´t expect a Dom/Domme to change his or her routine completely just for one sub. But it shouldn´t be a problem to talk about it, find out how far the other is willing to meet you in your request and maybe you can work something out.

Personally I love to punish my subs, I can be quite cruel but I do have my moments of relaxation. It´s not all blood and tears in my dungeon, that would be a very single minded way of handling subs and I´m far from being single minded! If I have to be honest I like a naughty sub, it shows some character and it makes things a bit more interesting. If I want someone to do everything I say I´ll get a dog!

dinsdag 11 juni 2013

Born to be bad?

It´s funny to see how some parents seem to think they can change their child by doing certain things. Like a boy can´t play with dolls, sucking on a rubber duck is bad, girls can´t wear camo shirts or have toy guns. As if any of these things will determine what someone will be, there is no proof that you´ll be anything else than what you are from birth. Being gay or loving rubber isn´t something that happens to you somewhere in your life, you´re born that way. Though a lot of people seem to have problems with that, I guess they just can´t accept that their child isn´t the way they wanted him or her to be. But guess what, you don´t have anything to say about that because if someone is happy the way he or she is then that should be enough for a parent!!!!

Instead you see parents telling their son that playing with a doll is bad, you don´t want to be bad do you? No of course not, the child wants to be good and get a nice treat. When parents walk with their child on the street and see a man or woman in latex then they cover his or her eyes, because it´s bad to wear something like that. Girls that have a poster of a woman that kissed another woman on their wall will have to remove it, because that´s not a good example for you. I mean seriously, are there people who believe that? Oh I´m certain that there are people out there who believe that, who think they can change a person.

So what about a boy that wants to be a girl or a girl that wants to be a boy? What do you say? Tough luck, better luck in your next re├»ncarnation? Oh wait, that´s not for everone....well I guess you´ll just have to adjust living like a man or woman. Isn´t it someones own free will to choose the life he or she wants? Maybe it´s difficult to understand, because you can´t or just don´t want to. But sometimes if you actually listen to your kid, you might find out that he or she isn´t that bad. They´re just exploring, discovering themselves and eventually making their own decisions in life. Something a parent would like to see in their child, that one day they can stand on their own two feet and make it in life.

Was I born to be a latex lover? I don´t know, I do know that the first time I saw latex it was love on first sight. Does that make me a bad person? I don´t know, I do know that I like to spank people and be worshipped by subs. So yes I´m probably a bad person, but then again we all have some good and some bad in us. You don´t always have to understand, sometimes you just have to accept. It´s not all about you, I´d say the happiness of your children is worth a million times more than what you or I think.

zondag 9 juni 2013

The big bad world

BDSM is nice when you´re in a room with closed curtains, no judgemental eyes and no comments from people who don´t understand or want to understand you. You feel safe and there isn´t anyone or anything that can disturb you while you play with your partner. But don´t you feel restricted? There is a whole world out there and things you can enjoy together, but then you´ll be exposed and it´s where the negative factors will swarm around you. I´m not saying that it´s easy, especially for a first time it can be overwhelming or even scary. Maybe as a dominant it´s easier, as you´ll be the one who holds the leash and you´re not the one walking on your hands and feet. So how do you face the big bad world?

For a first time it might be a good idea to have company, a friend that is also into BDSM or has a love for the same type of fetishes like you (for example a love for wearing latex). If you don´t know anyone else who has the same interests as you and wishes to go outside with you, then it might be a good idea to pick a good time and place. Going outside when it´s not that crowded outside or find a place where there aren´t that many people. It doesn´t really inspire you to go outside again when your first experience was a negative one.

It´s also a good idea to start small, for example wearing thigh high boots over your jeans or with a skirt. But if you wish to try something else you could also put on some rubber gloves with a corset. Sometimes you need to build confidence, it´s not always natural to everyone. Though if this is still too exposed for you then maybe you can wear some fetish clothing underneath your casual clothes, but a good tip would be not to do this in Summer!

Just so you know, people will most likely give comments on your outfit or on your behaviour. Not everyone is like that. But some people like to say what they think, depending on the person this can be right in your face or behind your back. Don´t let them discourage you, because you have every right to be there. There is no rule against wearing fetish clothing and there is no rule against letting your sub out on a leash. Just be prepared to see a lot of judgemental people, those that can´t or won´t understand you and those that wish they were the one on the leash but are too scared!!!!

vrijdag 7 juni 2013

Sex with strangers

The old idea is to get to know someone, go on a few dates and then when you like him or her and the other likes you then you can be intimate with eachother. Though going back far enough you´d first have to get engaged and after that get married before there was any thought of sex. Of course not everyone would do that, at least I can´t imagine everyone was so correct when it came to having sex. But what about now? Do you still go on a few dates before you make a move? Or when you´re at a party and meet someone interesting, do you find the nearest place to be intimate and be done with it?

It seems naughty, sex in public and/or sex with a stranger. But is it really that special? It´s not like your doing anything different, at least when you look at the part where you have sex. Still some people find it exciting to have sex in puclic, the chance of being caught raises the tension and with that maybe also the climax during sex. But what about having sex with a stranger? How does that make things more interesting?

I think it´s safe to say that a lot of people would first like to get to know someone before they want to be intimate with him or her. I can´t blame them, you don´t want to share something nice like sex with just anybody, not to forget the risk of getting sexual transmitted diseases. But maybe that´s where the excitement is, the danger of it all and that once again might stimulate sex in a positive way. Though I doubt that would work for everyone.

Still the question would remain with whom you´d want to have sex, because I doubt it would be just any stranger. I´d say appearance would matter, if someone looks terrible then that´s not something that would attract you to him or her. Personality would be less important, you hardly know the person or not at all so if it´s about just having sex I doubt you´d care about that. So no matter how much your parents (or anyone else for that matter) tells you that it´s not about the outside but about the inside of a person, I´d say that in some situations that´s not true. I´d like to believe that it matters, but not in every situation.

woensdag 5 juni 2013

Gagged and loving it!

Do you remember a time in your life when you had to travel with the bus or train and some people would keep talking until you get at your destination? Though it´s not limited to public transportation, no these people talk everywhere. It´s nothing interesting and yet you´re stuck listening to these annoying people because you forgot to bring your music to listen to, which makes the bus or train ride that much longer and definately more irritating. I always wished I had some gags with me so I could stop them from talking, just shoving it in their stupid mouths and watch them squirm. I guess I´m showing my internal sadist here, but people like that deserve it.

But gags aren´t just helpfull for annoying travellers, you can use them on your sub as well. Some will actually ask you for it. Though some people ask for a lot, you can´t always give them what they want but with a gag I think you can help them out. Still there is a problem for some people to bring up a gag in a session, do you force it on someone or do talk about it first before adding it into the play session? Once again it would definately depend on your relationship with your partner, are you willing to risk a good thing by doing something unexpected that someone might or might not like? I would definately bring it up before doing anything with the gag, seems obvious but I´ve seen Doms/Dommes that just forced it on their subs. Let´s just say that didn´t work out well for everyone, because it´s too much for some people and never go beyond your limit when it only brings out bad things!

Just like handcuffs a gag will take away some freedom, which is good when you´re dominating someone. I don´t think a lot of people realize how much you use your mouth during sex. Though people who only use the standard missionary position and afterwards are done seem to be fine without, but they seem to miss out on more than just good sex. Some Doms/Dommes seem to be fine without, when they use mind control (not actual mind control of course, just them telling a sub what he or she can or can´t do) to limit a sub in his or her actions. But for those who prefer to use toys in their play session, then a gag is a wonderful way of telling someone to shup up and bent over. Though that might be a topic for another time....

maandag 3 juni 2013

Horny and drunk

This doesn´t seem like an unusual combination, though it can lead to a lot of trouble or sometimes to funny situations. I have a friend that almost always becomes horny when she´s drunk or maybe she´s always horny but it starts to show when she´s drunk. Anyway when I´m the designated driver I have to be the one that carries her home, but she loves to stick her tongue in my ear when I´m doing that. Maybe you think that sounds cute, well it´s mostly wet and not pleasant when someone smells like they had one too many. She just remembers it as having the best French kiss in ages, but then again what do you remember when you´re drunk?

So what happens when you and your friend are both drunk? Well that´s where the awkwardness starts, waking up in the same bed with no clothes on can be quite alarming.Though I believe that I´m not the only one to whom that has happened. But it´s no suprise to me that people wouldn´t speak that open about it, probably because they´ve sworn never to speak about it again. Unless their friend is hot and maybe when that person had a crush on him or her. It´s one hell of an ice breaker though, waking up in the same bed naked and then just say: "hello".

But what makes people so horny when they´re drunk? Is it because they don´t feel their limits as strong as they would otherwise? I´d say that comes pretty close to the truth, still going from having fun with your friend to sleeping with him or her is a big step. It could put a dent in a friendship but it could also be the start of a relationship, I guess it really would depend on the people involved and the situation they´re in.

I´m not saying that you should never drink alcohol, though that would be a good way to prevent yourself for doing something stupid. But then again you only live once and why waste the good years of your life staying sober? Still it´s not a bad idea to take it easy, every now and then. When you´re young you do stupid things, if all goes according to plan then you should learn from those stupid things. So in a way if you never do stupid things you don´t learn much or do you? Anyway have fun and remember when you feel the urge to stick your tongue in your friend´s ear, don´t do it!!!!

zaterdag 1 juni 2013

Silly Doms/Dommes

Have you ever read profiles or messages from certain ´special´ Doms/Dommes? These super stars live in a world where they think that they´re all that, that they´re superior towards you. Sure a Dom/Domme dominates a sub, but to actually feel better than another person is just stupid. Of course in roleplay you can play this type of Dom/Domme, but just keep it in the play session and once you´re done you can stop. Though that seems to be difficult for some people.

Half of the time these people don´t even look so superior, I guess when you´re beautiful and all your life people have been worshipping you then it´s difficult to stay ´normal´. But when people who can´t even write proper words tell me that they´re so superior then I can´t help but laugh, it´s nice that they´re confident but sometimes it´s just ridiculous.

You should treat your sub with respect, he or she is still a person and chooses to serve you. Some people seem to forget that last part, that it´s a choice and not something that they´re forced to do. These people don´t even see or hear other people laughing at them when they behave in their superior status, especially vanilla people seem to find it funny to see some overweight blob or barbie doll acting like they´re God or something like that.

But in all honesty I think people like that just give Doms/Dommes a bad name, which makes it even harder for BDSM to be taken seriously and accepted. But I guess every idiot can hold a whip in his or her hand and think that they´re so much better than the rest. I just wish they act like that in their bedroom and not in public....