zaterdag 29 maart 2014

Addicted to fetish clothing!

An addiction is hardly ever a good thing, but when it comes to wearing fetish clothes then it´s not so bad. Of course it´s an expensive addiction, as much as you´d love to buy a lot of clothes you´re often limited because of a budget. So how do you deal with that?

The easiest thing you can do is just stick with what you have or if you don´t have anything yet then you buy just the one outfit. It seems stupid but if you don´t have that much money then it´s really stupid to spend all your money on clothes. You have to eat and I´m certain that there are bills that you need to pay, so never forget to plan your next move before you decide to purchase something expensive. Als try to research the outfit you want to buy, because maybe it´s not as good as you first thought it would be. You don´t want to buy something that turns out to be something you don´t want or that isn´t exactly as you thought it would be. Maybe you´re easy when it comes to this but I doubt that you don´t like any unpleasant suprises!

If you worry that others might talk badly about you not having a lot of fetish clothes then it´s best not to be bothered by that. It´s great if some people have a lot of money to spend or that they started buying fetish clothes for a long time. It´s not a suprise that these people will have more, but don´t let that discourage you! We all start small and hopefully one day you have your own collection that you can show off. You might want to go fast, buy as many pretty things as you can but this doesn´t lead to happiness. It´s better to start slow and see what it is you really want, what interests you and what turns you on. There is no point in wearing something you don´t like!

It´s not a bad thing to be addicted to fetish clothing, just remember not to spend all your money on that! It´s tempting and you wouldn´t be the first one that has done that, but you´d probably regret it. I love fetish clothing, I love to wear them and I love to look at them. But I know that there is a time and place for such things, there are also days that I don´t wear fetish clothing and then some nice casual clothing comes in handy. As much as you want one thing, remember that it´s smart to leave room for other things.

zondag 16 maart 2014

Are you a real woman?

I´ve heard a lot of times from transsexual friends that it´s a big deal for some people to know if you´re a real woman or not. I don´t mean as in just being curious, no I´m talking about that being a deal breaker. As if someone that you´re attracted to, is nice to you and with whom you´ve had several nice conversations suddenly isn´t your type just because they´re not what you expected. Does it really matter? Isn´t someone that you like, with whom you have a connection and that feels the same about you enough?

I guess it makes sense that a straight guy might not want to be with a transsexual woman, but if you´re attracted to her and you´re having a good time together then why not at least give her a chance? It´s not a suprise that usually the people that scream the loudest that they´re straight are actually not as straight as they claim to be. Which is fine with me, but it´s just stupid to go out of your way to pretend to be straight.

Unfortunately there is another problem, guys that are specifically looking for transsexual women often because they have a fetish for that or some kind of fantasy related to that. Guess what, a lot of these women don´t like to be someones fetish! They want to be loved, treated and respected just like other women. Which seems logic, but in reality this doesn´t always happen. Love someone for who they are, not for what they are!

If you do find yourself in a situation where the woman you´re attracted to is a transsexual woman then don´t make a big deal out of it, just treat her as you would treat any other woman. Treat them with love and respect, I think that wouldn´t harm you and your girlfriend will definately appreciate it. Also communication is always a good thing, so don´t be afraid to ask questions and I think a lot of transsexual women will appreciate your interest and will probably not mind answering some questions. Just as long as you´re being respectful, don´t be blunt or rude about something.

zaterdag 15 maart 2014

Being a sadist makes you evil!

Have you ever heard that before? People that assume that because you´re a sadist then you must also be evil, somehow people don´t seem to see that one doesn´t mean you´re also the other. Now I´m not going to lie and say that this is complete nonsense, because there are sadists that might be considered evil but that doesn´t mean that just because you´re a sadist that it automaticly makes you evil!

As a Domme it´s safe to say that I´m a sadist, but does that make me evil? Well I´m not going to pretend I´m innocent, I guess we all have our dark side but I don´t consider myself as evil. But what is evil? Hurting someone you love, is that evil? I think a lot of people will say yes, but what if the other person wants you to hurt him or her? Is it still evil? Some people believe that good and evil are just two different sides with different opinions, I don´t know if that´s really true but sometimes it seems like a lot of things in the world do seem to point that way. But then there are also things that prove that evil is more than just a side that has a different opinion.

Getting back to BDSM I think that it´s safe to say that when someone hurts someone else and the other wants that, then there is no evil intent. This is something some people seem to forget, that a sub is a sub by choice. There is no one that forced them to one day be a sub. I´m certain that there are some disturbing stories out there that might tell you something else, but let´s not forget that some people are just pretty messed up. I´m not that different, I´m messed up but I don´t hurt people just for my amusement. It´s because they chose to submit themselves to me and thus decided to play by my rules, this is something that was discussed and not forced upon anyone.

So whenever you hear someone say that a sadist must be evil then that´s often someone that speaks about something they know nothing about! It´s easy to judge others but it actually takes courage to admit that you don´t know something and are willing to learn, which also shows that you have at least some respect towards something you don´t know or understand. I don´t expect everyone to agree or that everyone will respect it, but to judge others is jus stupid!

zondag 9 maart 2014

When your partner isn´t into kink

These days it´s easy to meet other people, especially online there are plenty of people to talk to and some of them are actually even nice to talk to. Of course it´s not always that easy to find someone that is actually relationship material, but once you do then what is there to stand in your way to have some good times together? A partner that has no interest in kink, at all....

I make it sound as if it´s a bad thing, which isn´t always the truth. Kink might bring some spice into a relationship but I doubt it´s what you need to make it work, of course it´s nice if someone respects your opinion and what you like as you probably would do the same. So making a compromise seems quite logic, maybe once a week something less vanilla and then the rest of the week being a casual couple. I´d say that´s quite reasonable, because what is one night compared to six?

Not everyone might agree to that, I guess it really depends how things work in your relationship. But it also depends on you and your partner, if he or she doesn´t want to do anything kink related then things might be rough. Especially if you have a strong need for something like that in your relationship. It wouldn´t suprise me if that could cause some difficulties in the relationship, but I don´t think it needs to be a big problem. It´s always important to talk, if it´s really bothering you that there is no kink in your relationship then maybe you can make some suggestions. It´s better than keeping quiet and just be frustrated!

I wouldn´t force your partner into a role he or she isn´t comfortable with, it should be something you both agree on and not just one! As much as you would like your partner to be more like you it´s not a good idea to force something on someone else when he or she is clearly not into that, instead of being stuck on one idea you might want to think of something else that her or she might like. Once again talking can definately help out, don´t be afraid to talk about what you like. If someone loves you for who you are then there is nothing you need to hide, but I would understand if you feel reluctant to talk about a fetish that isn´t really considered as acceptable. Instead of being blunt with that, you might want to give some hints to what you like and hopefully that will give your partner an idea.

It might seem difficult to be in a relationship with someone who doesn´t share your kinky side, but it´s not impossible. Just remember that as long as you respect and love eachother then nothing is impossible!

zaterdag 8 maart 2014

Hood or mask?

What´s a fetish outfit without a nice mask? What´s a catsuit without a hood? You might not like to wear a mask or a hood but I think they add some extra spice to an already hot outfit. Besides it also adds some mystery to your appearance and I do think that mystery is more interesting than nothing at all!

But what is better? Well if you´ve seen some of my pictures then you´re probably familiar with my mask, so it´s not a suprise what I prefer. But that doesn´t make a hood bad, I think for some people a hood is an excellent choice and it can be incredibly sexy! Just look at a hood with a ponytail, wether it´s fake or real hair it just looks good. It´s not a suprise that some Doms/Dommes love to wear a hood or a mask. A lot of subs love that as well, some of them try to match their mask or hood with that of their Dom/Domme. I actually encourage that, because it´s a nice touch and I would definately appreciate that!

What I like about my mask is that it keeps a lot of my face free, which is nice when it´s warm or when I´m wearing make up. Of course you can wear lipstick with a hood but with my black lipstick it doesn´t really fit well with a black hood, I prefer to keep my clothes in dark colours so I don´t think I´m going to change colours. With a mask I can wear white make up on my face to bring out the black mask and lipstick even more. Also I think that a mask looks a bit more stylish, but that´s just my opinion and I don´t consider that as a fact.

Both a hood and a mask are sexy, I love to see them on people and I guess that does explain my love for heroes and villains. At least the ones that wear hoods and/or masks. But what also makes hoods and masks special to me is that they´re not that common, you don´t see a lot of people walking around with hoods or masks. I think that makes them even more special to me.

zaterdag 1 maart 2014

What a sub wants

Sometimes I get the idea that there is some confusion in a D/s relationship, especially when it´s a professional relationship. Because some subs seem to think that they have nothing to say in that relationship, which might be ok for some people but I can imagine not everyone would be happy in such a situation. Because no matter how much you want to please your Dom/Domme, you also have your own wishes and you shouldn´t be afraid to talk about that. Maybe you´re not that confident to talk about it but you shouldn´t be afraid that a professional Dom/Domme won´t listen to you. Because a Dom/Domme that doesn´t care about a sub isn´t really a Dom/Domme in my eyes!

Of course as a sub you´re respectful with your wishes towards a Dom/Domme, don´t bother asking a Dom/Domme something you probably know won´t happen. You might think that it´s ok to ask, but not everyone likes to be bothered with certain questions. Especially when it´s something about a Dom/Domme having sex with a sub, if your relationship is strictly professional then I doubt that´s going to happen. It´s at least something I don´t do and I don´t expect any professional Dom/Domme to do that either!

I´ve heard from subs who had ideas or suggestions and were too afraid to ask, often out of fear that the Dom/Domme would refuse that and wouldn´t want any contact with them anymore. I don´t think that it´s going to be that bad, unless you say something that they consider as an insult or disrespect. But if it´s a decent question then I doubt anyone would respond that negative.

As a Dom/Domme you should respect your sub, sure you dominate him or her but that doesn´t mean you should ignore them when they have questions or something else to say. I know that there are some bad Doms/Dommes out there, people that think it´s all about them and this annoys me quite a lot. But these people aren´t real Doms/Dommes, they´re just a waste of time!