Know your limits

It seems simple enough, everyone has his or her limits and why would you go past a limit? Well during a session it´s easy to get past a limit, without a safeword it could be bad for the receiving sub. It´s true that some people can take a lot of pain, but no one is limitless. Maybe some would like to think so, but those who do think like that clearly have never pushed themselves that far.

Especially for a first timer it´s better to take it easy than to try and impress someone. No one will think badly of you if you take it easy, it´s not a competition and there is no reward for someone for those that take more pain than others. I´ve seen people start an innocent roleplay and it ended in blood and tears. Maybe that´s your thing, maybe your partner doesn´t mind help you fulfil this fantasy but safety should always come first.

Maybe that sounds strange coming from a dominatrix, safety comes first. Well just because I dominate, humiliate and spank people doesn´t mean that I want them to get seriously hurt. It´s a game and games are supposed to be fun! Going with a sub to the hospital in the middle of the night isn´t fun, you might think it is but it definately isn´t!!!!

If you want to try something new, always mention this before you do anything. It might seem funny but when you´re dealing with someones life and health, then it´s not like you can suddenly decide to do something dangerous. Just think about it, do you want to get a plastic bag over your head without the other telling you in advance? Breathplay is a dangerous game and it´s definately not for beginners!

Now I´m not the teacher here to tell you what you can and can´t do, I´m just telling you what seems to be the smart thing to do. In the end you just want to have fun with your partner(s), right? So have fun, but be smart and stay safe!

The power of leather

Yesterday I was freezing in my house, instead of going somewhere warm I put some leather clothes on. I could feel the cold pressing against my body but it couldn´t penetrate my leather ´armor´. I wasn´t even shivering in my clothes, I felt pretty good and the leather gave me a comfortable temperature. I didn´t have to turn on the heat in my house, I actually saved some money there which is a nice bonus. Though that might not be the main reason why you would wear leather, but it´s still nice to know that there are benefits next to looking good.

This disappointing Spring weather has caused me more than one cold evening and night, so yesterday I was just sick and tired of trying to stay warm. I´m not the type that crawls under a blanket or goes to bed early to stay warm. I decided to put on my leather pants, top, gloves, trenchcoat and my torture boots (also made of leather). Suddenly the cold couldn´t harm me, the biting feeling on my skin was gone and I stayed up all night enjoying the comfort of leather.

I think I haven´t always been that appreciative towards leather, latex has gotten my favour most of the time but this time it was definately leather that saved the day for me. Latex might feel and look better, it´s leather that keeps you warm on even one of the coldest nights. Of course having someone with you to share body heat will help as well, but if you find yourself alone on such a cold and lonely night then you know what you can do to keep yourself warm.

I don´t think that leather ever felt that good to me, sure I´ve rubbed myself against leather and I´ve licked it but this felt just as good if not better. So what is your best friend on a cold and lonely night? Right a rubber cock, though a leather outfit to keep yourself warm is nice as well!!!!

Reality vs Fantasy

Do you ever look at the picture of an attractive person and fantasize about him or her? There is nothing wrong with that, but as long as you keep fantasy and reality separated it shouldn´t be a problem. It´s usually when someone becomes obsessed with the picture and expects you to be like that all the time. Sure some pictures bring out the best in you, like in that latex catsuit you look divine but that doesn´t mean you look like that all the time. Sometimes I get subs that seem to be disappointed that I´m not the super hot babe they thought I would be, as if it´s forbidden to have a bad hair day or walk around without make-up.

Some also expect you also to wear on high heels and strapped in leather, but that doesn´t make you a dominatrix. Some of the clothes and tools of the trade might help you with your work as a dominatrix, but often you wear and use that because you want to and not because you have to. I´ve met women that never wear latex or letaher and hardly use any whips to dominate their subs. Still the fantasy gives some people the illusion that it is needed, that a dominatrix is like that. Which is a shame but it´s difficult to avoid, especially for those that seem to have that idea branded in their minds.

A dominatrix is a human just like you, we go to the bathroom and we don´t look that special in the morning. If this disturbs your image then maybe a human dominatrix isn´t for you and you should stick to the imaginary ones you see in your dreams. Of course it´s nice if someone worships you and a sub should worship his or her master or mistress. Just keep in mind that they´re humans, so they do the same basic things you do as well. You´d think that this is nothing new, but plenty of subs seem to be shocked that the person they thought to be a goddess turns out to be human just like him or her.

Fantasy is nice, I love fantasy and it gives a creative mind something to do. Just don´t remember to come back to reality, don´t get yourself lost in fantasy because no good comes from that. Hold a fantasy close to your heart but don´t expect it to ever become reality, unless your fantasy is a bit realistic. It´s difficult to judge that without knowing what it is, but just remember that a dominant is a person just like you.....well maybe a more twisted and sadistic person that you. And for every Dom/Domme, know your limits!!!!

Pain or pleasure?

It might suprise you but some people often talk about the same thing when it´s about pain and pleasure, now I don´t mean that everything that hurts is automaticly pleasure to them but when done correctly it can definately stimulate positive reactions from the other. So why is it so frowned upon when you talk about spanking your husband or wife? It´s not like you´re beating the living hell out of someone, but it can be rough for some people. Especially for virgin butt cheeks, so if you can´t stand pain then spanking isn´t for you.

For those that are interested but a bit afraid to try it, you could start with spanking yourself. You know how much you can take so it shouldn´t be too dangerous, just slap yourself on your butt cheeks and see how far you can go. If you feel confident enough you could use a ruler or (if you have one) a whip. A riding whip is excellent for beginners, if you don´t hit yourself too hard you should be ok. Even if you go for more force in your hits then it shouldn´t be causing a lot of damage, they´re not designed for that.

The next step would be to include someone else in your spanking, if it helps making it feel less awkward you can take turns but if it´s really just about you getting used to it then there isn´t much need to spank the other. Things are only as awkward as you make them, in other words it´s probably best not to think too much about it and just have fun with your partner. If you don´t have a partner then it might be tricky to find someone, because asking someone if they enjoy spanking isn´t really material you ask on a first date nor on a second or third date for that matter. But you can talk about having a kinky side, also don´t be too quick with this by saying you don´t mind being tied up and beaten with a stick because that might be a bit too much too fast. Seems obvious but you´d be suprised with the messages I get or the stories I´ve heard from other women.

Then if you´re ready for the real work, then remember to have a safeword before you begin. That will stop the spanking, as you agreed with your partner before you begun. Trust is also a must in this situation, do you trust the other person who you include in your spanking? Between a Dom/Domme and a sub should always be trust, if you don´t trust the other then it will be a lot harder to let him or her spank you. Last but not least, try to let go of your worries and have fun. You might want to brace yourself for impact but sometimes you just got to enjoy a good spanking.

Have fun!!!!

Holy ravioli, what to wear?

For those that don´t know, it´s Pentecost weekend so what does that mean? Well for some it means a free day but also means showing off that nice figure you´ve been working on since the first day of the new year. At least if you´ve been keeping yourself to your promise, if not then there are also nice outfits that cover that extra weight up. So what to wear this weekend?

If you want to be a good Christian, you´ll probably put some formal clothes on. As a guy that would be a suit or some smart casual clothes. As a woman you´ll be expected to be in a dress, trying not to show off too much skin. Hm is that a prejudice? Well I doubt every good believer is like that, you´re not bound to what others think you´ll wear. But I bet there are some ´good´ people out there that might just do exactly that.

But if you feel more like me, then you´ll probably be a bit less casual and a bit more kinky. Get those leather clothes out of the closet and strap on some buckled boots to put some character around your feet. Is it too warm for leather? Well a mini skirt looks good on some nice shaved legs and if you can tolerate it with the warmth you could put on some nice (thigh high) boots. When people want to worship the ground you walk on then you know you´re doing something right.

Of course you could always go for some latex, what better way to show you´ve been touched by the holy ghost then wearing a shiny hot outfit. It can´t be hot enough, though be careful if it´s warm because you don´t want to faint in a latex outfit. It might seem sexy being dirty but there are limits to getting dirty, filthy is not the right type of dirty.

Whatever your plans are for this weekend, I just hope there is some rubber involved. As you can see I´m enjoying my rubber as always!!!!

The new you?

I´d like to go further into the fictional character topic, because I´ve been wondering about something. Some games give you an option to customize the main character or even multiple other characters, which is usually for personal amusement but some actually put a lot of work into that. What is interesting that a lot of male players like to play as a female, the reason for that is usually a bit vague. The first excuse they usually give is that they prefer to look at the ass of a woman than one of a man, but seriously that´s just a cheap answer. Is it  perhaps because they like to be a woman? Even if it´s just in a game. Now don´t get me wrong, I have absolutely no problem with that. If men want to play as women then that´s fine with me, but I find it interesting because you hardly see women play as men in games. Unless they´re not given another chance, when the main character is male and you can´t change that.

One of the games that I really loved to play was City of Heroes/City of Villains, you had so many options with customizing your character and your costume. Which is probably the most fun I´ve had with customizing in any game I´ve ever played. I think it´s safe to say that this game was also a nice game for men who like to play as a woman. It´s a shame that this game is no longer playable, but maybe in the future there will be another game like that.

But for all the men who like to play as a woman, there is nothing wrong with that and when you´re roleplaying I doubt anyone would be bothered by that. I think most people online expect female characters to be controlled by a man anyway. Which is of course not always the truth, there are plenty of female gamers though some of them play as a male character. Often just to not get bothered by men who annoy them, which is a shame because I would always welcome more female players. It´s good that there are also women out there that don´t care and just play as the character they want to, even if that means they´ll get a lot of crap from other (often male) players.

I think some men also like to play as a woman in games because they´re secretly a crossdresser or transvetite, though that doesn´t always have to be secretly but since it´s not that openly accepted I can definately understand why some would keep it a secret. It´s nice that they can be themselves in a game, but it´s a shame that it has to be like that and that it can´t be more out in the open without the insults. Just between you and me, I think men that look like women look sexy and I doubt that I´m the only one!

Fictional turn on

I don´t think many people would find it odd if you´re attracted to an actor or actress in a certain movie, maybe it´s because of their make-up or their costume but it´s still a real person. But what if it´s someone that is completely fictional, like a character in a comic or a video game?

Especially in games there are a lot of interesting characters, there might be different opinions what would be considered as sexy but I think it´s safe to say that there is something good for most gamers. But does the sight of a computer animated character actually turn you on? Or is it more like you appreciate it but it doesn´t really do anything for you? I think the lesbian scene in Mass Effect 3 is popular, even if it´s just a short scene it´s probably still liked for what you see. But it´s still just two computer animated characters (one of them can be created by you, at least in appearance) and depending on the choices you make in the game it can lead to different outcomes. I guess it really depends on how you look at it, if you´re in the story and really play the role of Commander Shepard then I doubt it will feel like you´re just watching some computer animated characters get intimate with eachother. So your imagination will definately help with the turn on, though is it really required?

Well when looking at sex, it´s nice to have some creativity because doing the same thing in the same position every time can get old. Maybe not for everyone but people are different, so what counts for one doesn´t have to count for another. But when you get fiction in picture then it comes in handy to have some imagination, to be creative and maybe create a whole story behind this romance or intimacy. Though that could just be me thinking too much, because some people just probably like to think of themselves with someone. There are also people who like to fantasize about two fictional characters getting together, where they might even leave themselves out of the fantasy.

I do like to play as a fictional character, like dressing up as a character from a game or comic. A little bit of cosplay can definately spice things up or at least make things more interesting, it can even help you fulfil a fantasy or at least help you get a lot closer to one you might have. Because a fictional character will stay that way, the closest you can be is be intimate with someone dressed up as that fictional character. It´s of course up to you how far you want to take that, though getting too much involved might be a mistake when your partner isn´t. I think a popular fictional couple roleplay is Batman and Catwoman, also for two women you have Harley and Poison Ivy roleplay.

Just look at the picture below and ask yourself, is this hot or not?