Sex dreams

Have you ever had a dream where you had sex with someone else? I think we all had those type of dreams, but what if that person wasn´t someone you would expect to be in a sex dream with? I don´t think I have to mention how awkward that can be, but maybe it can also be quite interesting. That friend you like and who is always there for you, maybe you can be more than friends? That colleague that´s always nice to you and with whom you have pleasant conversations, how about sharing a cup of coffee together somewhere private?

Is a sex dream a hidden desire to have sex with someone? I doubt it goes that deep, sometimes your dreams just go wild and that might lead to some strange situations in dreams. If you have absolutely no feelings for someone and you´re not interested in him or her in any way then I wouldn´t be too worried about it. Sure you might get a red head out of nowhere being around that person but there are plenty of excuses for that, so I wouldn´t be too worried about that. But if it´s a dream about someone you do like and you secretly do have feelings for then maybe you might want to explore that a little bit further. Of course the same rules apply when it´s a sex dream about someone you´re not interested in, because it doesn´t have to mean anything. But the real question is, do you tell the other person you had a sex dream about him or her?

This is completely in your hands, you don´t have to say anything you don´t want to. Especially if you´re very embarrassed about it, I wouldn´t recommend telling other people about it. Unless you completely trust someone with that information, I´d still keep it pretty casual, because going into great detail might make it funny for the other when it´s difficult for you to talk about it. I wouldn´t use it as an opening line to asking someone out, telling someone you had a sex dream about him or her might not always work out so well for you. That´s really something you tell a good friend or someone you just trust completely. Of course you can always give it a shot, you could tell someone that you had a sex dream about him or her. Who knows someone might find it interesting and it could be the start of something, but it could also make someone laugh at you or scare someone away. So you might want to be careful about sharing such information with someone.

What if the dream becomes reality? Well first of all congratulations, I don´t think all of us could say that! But seriously you shouldn´t think too much of the dream and definately don´t compare the sex with what happened in the dream. If the other brings it up then you can talk about it but definately don´t go into great detail. Because no matter how nice a sex dream can be, nothing beats the real thing!

I want you to want me

It´s not only a good song, but sometimes it´s also how I feel. The feeling to be wanted by the one you love and the one that loves you. Telling someone that loves you that you don´t feel anything for him or her anymore is probably one of the most cruel things you can say to someone, especially when it´s about attraction. Of course some people are more sensitive to this then others, but I´ve seen people do some nasty things because of that.

You can´t like everyone and you can´t be attracted to everyone, we all have something we like or dislike. Sometimes someone that is deeply in love with you is absolutely not attracted to you, this can be quite frustrating and painful for the one who is in love. You could try to win the other over with poetry, songs, kindness or just by being yourself and show who you really are. Love on first sight doesn´t happen all the time, sometimes you´re friends before you become more than that or you´re even not that fond of the other at first. Love can grow, especially if it´s the type of love that is honest and from the heart.

Unfortunately most of the messages I get online aren´t from the heart, I´d say most people type with their penis when I read some of the messages I get. Ok so you´re attracted to a picture of me, but that doesn´t mean that you need to say how hard you are. I know that some Doms/Dommes are into these messages, they like to hear how much people spray their white love juice on their pictures. But not everybody feels that way, personally I find it quite rude to assume something just based on a picture or a few words. And yet I do the same in a way, I get a message from someone named hornyforyou and the messages says: I want to be inside you. Do I respond to that? No! Do I give this guy a chance to explain himself? No! Do I think that he´s a moron? Yes! Right there I judge him, it´s wrong and yet I can´t help but feel this way when someone wastes my time like that.

Does that mean you can´t say anything nice? Of course you can say something nice, for example there is nothing wrong with saying that someone looks attractive. A lot of people that are attractive know this, so don´t be suprised if you don´t always get an interesting reply to this. Try to be creative and find other things to talk about instead of how much you want to fill her up with your juice. Maybe some people are into that, but in a random chat online I wouldn´t recommend it. If you have a fetish in common, for example latex, then you have something to talk about. Maybe you can playfully talk about how you wouldn´t mind if he or she would be rubbing against you but leave it to flirting at first. If someone else picks it up and continues then you can go a little bit faster. It´s not that you have to be completely innocent!

There is nothing wrong with wanting someone, just don´t be  to forward with it when you talk to someone you don´t know or don´t know that well. A lot of people won´t take it kindly and it could be the end of the communication, it would be a shame if you could´ve had more succes if you just handled it differently. People often want to be treated as a person and not as a prize, learn to love someone for who they are and not what they do or what they wear. It can be hot to be wanted, especially if the other person is turning you on a lot. But remember to be patient!

Rubbing with rubber

When I think about rubber I think about something shiny, something I want to rub against and get turned on by the thought of doing so. Have you ever rubbed with your crotch against a rubber butt? Especially if you wear rubber it has this amazing feeling, which is for rubber lovers as close as you can get to heaven. Well there could always be more entertaining things you could do with rubber, but I do think that this comes pretty close!

The trick is to find someone who is just as much in love with rubber as you are, because a lot of people like rubber but not all of them like to wear it themselves. Which makes sense but it´s also a shame. Of course you can pleasure yourself in rubber, but as much fun you can have by yourself it´s only half of the fun you could have with someone else in rubber. That doesn´t mean that sticking a rubber hand in your pants is forbidden, there´s nothing wrong with some pleasure that you can provide yourself. Maybe when you close your eyes you can even imagine it´s someone elses hand.

I´ve met several people with a love for rubber, but I don´t know that many rubber couples. At least not people that openly confessed their love for rubber, which is quite understandable that you keep that to yourself. Judgement is easily cast these days and before you know it people will think you´re a freak. Eventhough a lot of people love rubber, I´d say at least half of them wouldn´t openly admit that they do. So I wouldn´t openly ask for people if they have a love for rubber like yourself, unless you really don´t care what others think about you. If by some chance you do meet someone else who is a rubber lover then it doesn´t automaticly mean that person is into you, something not everyone always seems to understand. As much as I´m attracted to rubber, that´s as much as I´m repulsed by people who assume things based on a little bit of information.

Maybe it´s just me but I think everything feels better in rubber, from the small things to bigger things. Yes that also means an erection, without actually touching the erection you can still feel it and when it looks so shiny under the rubber you just want to feel it against you. But don´t let that fool you that it´s only erections that feel good, a vagina that is ready for penetration feels good as well. A sensual rubber rubbing with another woman is very sexy, something you should really try at least once in your life!

On your knees

As a Dom/Domme there is hardly ever any lack of people willing to serve, especially when you appear online. So many people seem to be eager to give themselves to a Dom/Domme. Often this commitment is given without any thought, probably it´s a way of hoping to get closer to a specific Dom/Domme or maybe it´s just one of those decisions you make without really thinking about it. That alone is already more than enough reason for me to take at least half of the offers I get not seriously, because so many people just say things they don´t really mean. It´s often just a means to an end.

Some people are actually suprised that a Dom/Domme would reject him or her, often I get a reply to my rejection that comes down to disbelief. Somehow there is this illusion out there that a Dom/Domme would accept anyone who volunteers to be a sub. I think it fits in the same place where some subs seem to believe that sex is part of the session, I´m not saying that it´s unthinkable but if it´s a session with a professional Dom/Domme then sex isn´t a part of the session. If you get payed for sex then there is a different word for that profession. It´s a shame that these illusions exist out there and I always try to correct that, but that doesn´t take away that some subs seem to believe in these illusions. Personally I get the idea that it´s mostly based on wishful thinking, but that doesn´t make it true!

I´m often careful with people that are so eager to serve, that get on their knees without any form of protest. You might think that it´s nice to have a sub that does exactly what you say, but I find it a little bit suspecious. Especially when I look at some online subs, but that doesn´t mean that it´s all bad. Some subs are really just that eager to serve, maybe being without a Dom/Domme for a (long) period of time makes you a bit more eager to serve? Still you shouldn´t be too desperate, especially for a first impression it could work against you. Giving someone a compliment is nice, but sucking up to someone is just sad. Maybe sometimes it works, but I think most Doms/Dommes would look through that. Probably the same way as some subs look through wannabe Doms/Dommes. Calling yourself a Dom/Domme or a sub doesn´t make you one, this is something some people don´t really understand.

You know you want to

A lot of times I get messages from people telling me that I look hot, which is nice to hear but then I really wonder why they say that. Is it because they think I look attractive, do they like my personality or is it because I wear some fetish outfit that drives him or her wild? Well I know the feeling, as a kid I already got excited by shiny outfits, I´ve already mentioned my Catwoman love in Batman Returns but there are of course more examples. For example in a music video by a Dutch duo called Critical Mass (I´m talking now about something from the mid 90´s) the girl was wearing a latex catsuit in one of the videos. Now that was love on first sight, I wanted to touch and wear that! But I was a teenager and not really that open about my love for latex, especially because nobody wears that where I grew up. But deep down inside my love for this shiny piece of material would grow over the years. Until I was mature enough to not care about what others think and just wear whatever I like!

This really brings me to the point, why do people often drool over your outfit but don´t really dare to come out of the vanilla closet and just admit that they love fetish outfits? I know that some people prefer to see others wear that instead of wearing it themselves. I can actually understand that, but personally I don´t find this attractive in someone. As much as I like to feel good in my outfits, I also like to see others wearing something like that. But that´s not always that easy, especially when most people you meet in your daily life hide behind excuses why they don´t like it or wear it. As a teenager I get it, but as an adult you can just be honest and say that you like something? I don´t ask people to parade through the streets wearing latex, but this complete refusal of doing anything seems a bit weak to me. This I only like to watch attitude, it´s boring and definately not a turn on!

But I don´t want to force people, if you´re not confident enough or just not comfortable with the idea of being seen with latex then don´t do it. Still that keeps me wondering, why deny yourself of something you really want to? So your family and friends don´t understand that? That´s a shame, it really is, but don´t let that stop you from doing something you like. As selfish as it might sound, sometimes you just have to do what you want to and not always think of what others might think or what they would say. You can live your whole life pleasing others and what do you have at the end of your life? Regret? If only I tried to put on a latex outfit, if only I tried to do something kinky. That´s why I think you should do what you want to do. To make it easier for you, with Halloween you could always wear a latex outfit and just say that it´s based on a character from a movie or something like that. You have a right to be kinky, you have a right to be interested in something less innocent and you have a right to look good in something shiny!!!!

I´m horny all the time!

At first you´d probably say that you don´t see this as a problem, but remember that there are situations where you probably don´t want to feel that way. For example when you have to do a presentation, during a job interview, meeting the parents of your boyfriend or girlfriend, when you´re babysitting and there are probably many more situations where it´s not something you want to experience. Everything has a time and a place and being horny all the time doesn´t seem like something you want, at least I can´t imagine anyone who wants to feel that way.

I think even in a relationship the other might get enough of sex after a couple of weeks, especially when this person doesn´t have this horny feeling all the time. You can be nice and play along, but really after some time it must really get annoying. Especially when you´re absolutely not in the mood for sex! Refusing someone once for sex doesn´t have to be bad, but do it a couple of times and the other might think you´re no longer attracted to him or her. So always be careful about just saying no, sometimes it´s better to explain why you´re not into sex. Definately don´t point any fingers at someone, because that doesn´t help anyone! Someone doesn´t choose to be horny all the time, this is just something that happens. But to be fair I think that someone that is horny all the time shouldn´t expect his or her partner to always be in the mood as well. Once again communication can be a good way to handle this. Maybe with some regular sex you can find some more balance, if not then there is always a good chance that things will become less wild when you get older. But I wouldn´t guarantee that, some people are just hot!

What can I do when I´m horny but don´t want to feel this way? The smartest thing would be to think about things that don´t turn you on, you can even go so far as to think of things that disgust you. But also try to avoid things that might turn you on, which isn´t always that easy. Imagine working somewhere and you have to wear rubber gloves, if rubber gloves turn you on then you might be in trouble. I wouldn´t say change your job but you might want to wear some cloth gloves under your rubber gloves and probably not look at the other workers. There is nothing wrong with feeling horny, but you might not want that feeling all the time. So you could distract yourself with something hot or cold, for example some ice cream or a cup of tea. You could always bite on your tongue, but for some people pain is also a turn on. So really you probably know yourself what works best for you to counter an unwanted horny feeling. Just don´t be ashamed of it, because it´s a natural feeling and deep down inside you know it feels good!

Primal lust

Do you ever have that feeling that when you see someone that you want that person? You´re not in love and it´s not really about anything really, all you want to do is have some wild sex with that person. Maybe some of you think that this is something silly, but really are we suddenly so civilized that we don´t know what lust is? Some people might only have sex with people they love and I respect that, but sometimes your body just wants something and who are you to deny that?

This feeling of lust can so easily be triggered by something, maybe it´s something someone wears or what someone is doing. Especially when the idea of a certain fantasy has been roaming around in your mind for some time, that´s when it becomes difficult to control yourself once you encounter someone that can make that fantasy become reality. Of course such encounters are quite uncommon, especially when it´s an unusual fantasy. But if leather turns you on, then you probably don´t have a hard time finding someone to get busy with. But it doesn´t always have to be something they wear or do, sometimes it can be as simple as an accent. I´ve seen people go wild for a French accent, to name one, and the person who had that accent didn´t really look like a fantasy.

No matter how you feel about someone or something, someone else can have different feelings about that. So jumping on someone in a sexual rage might not be the best way to deal with primal lust, unless that´s something both of you like then I´d say do whatever you like! But seriously, it´s not a good idea to be too forward with these things. As much as we have this primal lust in our bodies, we also have a brain (well most of us anyway). So don´t be shy to use that in moments of primal lust, because you don´t want to do something you might regret later. In the moment everything seems fine, but regret usually comes later....

The ideal situation would be if you and the other person have the same type of fetish, which will help you with getting turned on by eachother. Still this doesn´t automaticly mean that the other person is interested in you! If you´re good at reading signals then you should know when the other person wants you, if you´re not certain then play it a bit more careful. Oh before I forget, always use protection! Have fun!