It´s more fun to be bad?

If you ask an actor then the question is often yes it´s more fun to play the villain, but what about real life? Is it more fun to be bad? I guess that depends what you consider being bad, being naughty isn´t what I consider being bad so everyone with a teasing mood might feel like they´re bad but it´s not exactly the same. Which is why I personally don´t consider being bad to be fun, at least not the type of fun I´d have when I play a game or watch a movie. But sometimes it´s nice to be bad, sometimes....


Does that make you a bad person? I wouldn´t go that far, we all have a dark side and to pretend you´re perfect is just an illusion! But it´s true that some of us have a dark twisted side that dominates the good, which sometimes lead to unpleasant personalities. Which is why it´s a good thing to hold on to something positive, even if you want to give in to the darkness you should hold on to some light. As a Dom/Domme you´re not excused of rules and it doesn´t mean that you can unleash your twisted ideas on a sub. It might seem that way to some, but that´s not how it is!


But what if you want to give in to the darkness? Well don´t! Ok that´s easier said than done, but really as a Dom/Domme you have a responsibility and not just to yourself but also your sub(s). Break the trust between you and your sub(s) and you might never get it back, so why risk it doing something stupid. If you have a rather unusual fantasy then discuss it with your sub, don´t go crazy just like that! A sub should also first check with his or her Dom/Domme about certain ideas or fantasies, nobody likes unpleasant surprises!


To some people good and bad are two sides with different opinions, maybe that´s true but that doesn´t make it ok to just do whatever you like. In the end you don´t want to be alone and miserable? Because if you´re going to act like an idiot then that´s exactly how you´ll end up. Leave the being bad part as a role you play in the bedroom, but nothing more than that. Sure that can be fun, it might even be very hot but remember that it´s just a role even if it feels more to you. Nobody wants you to be really bad, at least most people wouldn´t appreciate it. So you can play the big bad Dom/Domme, just be certain that it´s a role and not a way of life!

The person you are online and the person you are offline

I don´t think it´s a secret that we´re not always the same person online as when we´re offline, it makes sense because online you feel more safe thus it´s easier to say and do things. Of course this feeling of safety is but an illusion, but somehow that doesn´t keep people from doing things they wouldn´t do offline. But do these actions actually define us or are we just being fools?


People are odd, but usually you know your limits and going crazy online doesn´t happen a lot. At least not in a way where there is no way back, because we might all say or do things we might regret later but most of the time it´s nothing horrible or embarrassing enough to make you wish you never did it. Unfortunately there are people that sometimes make mistakes, showing detailed naked pictures and then they´re blackmailed by the other person with these pictures, it´s distateful but it happens. Which once again shows how vulnerable you can be online, which is why trust should always be earned and never just given.


Especially teenagers have the need to go crazy every now and then, which is fine if you do that in a safe environment but not online! As much as you might want to share something special with someone else you might want to think before you act, because you don´t want to reveal too much because once it´s out there it can´t go back! Which is why it´s important that you don´t give away certain pictures, it´s just too risky and you don´t want those pictures in the wrong hands.


Never let yourself be forced into something you don´t want to do, even as a sub you don´t have to do everything your Dom/Domme tells you. So when your Dom/Domme tells you that he or she wants nude pictures of you then I would definitely ask why he or she wants that. Don´t be afraid to ask questions, it´s not disrespectful and if he or she is offended by your questions then this isn´t a person you want to entrust with something personal like that!


It´s easy to be different online, but that doesn´t mean you have to be different. Just be yourself and do what you would normally do, don´t take a risk you wouldn´t take otherwise because there isn´t much happiness that comes from that. The B in BDSM doesn´t stand for blackmail, so try not to give someone leverage for that to happen!

Why would you wear gloves?

I´m not talking about the type of gloves you wear in the snow, I´m talking about latex or leather gloves but I think you´d probably figure that out sooner or later! Gloves are not just a piece of clothing to keep your hands warm, they´re a symbol and also quite practical. They´re a part of my fetish outfit and I can´t imagine wearing anything shiny without my gloves.


Gloves are nice but isn´t that too hot to wear in Summer? It is, that´s why I have fingerless gloves especially for Summer, but those are also more practical when I´m writing or typing. It´s actually quite nice to feels something shiny and soft around your hands and arms, it gives comfort and looks good as well. I love long gloves the most, they´re fancy gloves that women used to wear for a fancy ball. I guess some people still wear them for such occasions but the time of the dress seems to be something of the past, which is a shame in a way because I like them.


But you don´t need to wear a dress to walk around with long gloves, you can wear whatever you like and if you like it shiny like me then latex gloves (or pvc) are exactly what you need! Instead of my pale skin you see black shiny arms, I think that looks hotter than a pale skin. Well maybe you disagree but I prefer to keep things shiny! But it´s nice to have some breathing room as well, so wearing short gloves or fingerless gloves are a good way to mix it up a bit.


Do people think you´re weird when you walk around with gloves? Well I don´t know what people think but sometimes some people give you a strange look, but as long as I look human I guess I´m ok. Gloves might be a bit uncommon but not exactly rare, so it´s not something that makes people stare. Even if they would then who cares? If you´re happy wearing gloves and then you should!


Do gloves also play a role in a BDSM session? Not exactly, sometimes a sub is allowed to kiss my glove if he or she worships me but for me gloves are more a symbol than a practical use in a BDSM session. But above all I wear them because I like them! It´s the same with all my other fetish clothing, I wear it because I like it and that should be the main reason to wear a particular kind of clothing.

Autumn means leather jackets and boots

At least that´s how I see it, because suddenly people will wear more leather jackets and boots. I´d say anyone with a leather and/or boot fetish is having the time of his or her life! But it´s not just nice to look at, it´s even better to wear them yourself! Sliding your feet in some comfortable boots and feeling stronger in your leather jacket. Maybe it´s just in your head but as long as it makes you happy then who really cares!


Of course you can wear your leather jacket and boots in other seasons, but in Autumn it just feels right to me. With a cold wind and rain it´s nice to have protection against that without sweating too much, because no matter how nice leather feels you don´t want to sweat in your clothes! Which is why Summer can be a bummer, especially when it comes to wearing latex or leather. But Autumn gives you options, it´s colder so you can wear thick leather and not sweat that much in it. Which is nice for you and others around you.


I must admit that I´m a bit careful with my leather clothes, I´m not dancing in the rain in leather. In latex I do like to do that but not in leather, I guess I prefer to keep my leather cool and dry. The same counts for my boots, I don´t jump into a puddle with my boots on. I could do it but somehow I see that as a waste, because I don´t want to ruin them! I remember losing on of my spikes on my torture boots when I was jumping around with some friends, it´s just one spike but it felt like much more to me. So as much as I want to go crazy sometimes it´s smart to take good care of your clothes!


It´s amazing though that there are a lot of people out there that switch to leather jackets and boots in Autumn, maybe they just want to keep themselves warm or maybe they feel a bit more comfortable showing their awesome jackets and boots! Some might even go so far to wear leather pants and who knows what else! But that´s often a bit more rare in public, but still a welcome sight whenever you can spot someone wearing something shiny. Winter might be the season of miracles but for me Autumn is the season to see wishes come true!

Where do you leave your fetish clothes?

This might seem like a stupid question but for some people this is important, because not everyone knows about their kinky side so they can´t just leave them around the house! But you don´t want to stuff them in a corner, just like most of your clothes (that you value) you want to take good care of these fetish clothes. Because ripped fetish clothes might look sexy to you but not to me!


If you share your house with people that don´t know about your kinky side and prefer that they don´t find out then I would suggest to find a good hiding place for your fetish clothes. This doesn´t have to be a hole in the floor where you keep it but maybe a spot in your closet and put some casual clothes on top of them. Depending on the amount of fetish clothes you might want to have more than just one spot. Of course not all fetish clothing could be considered as weird, I mean some people wear leather pants in public so I doubt that this would raise any suspecion. But latex is usually the type of clothing that does kind of point towards a more kinky side.


Of course you don´t have to hide anything, if you feel confident enough to tell your family and friends about your kinky side then go for it! Just remember that not everyone is always that understanding and that this might have a negative impact on family and friends. I guess you know your family and friends best so you probably know if you can tell them or not, if you´re not certain you might want to investigate how they feel about certain kinky things. Being subtle is key here! If you think that they´re ok with it or don´t care then I doubt that you have any reason to hide your kinky side, but if they are disgusted by kink then you might want to keep your kinky side a secret. At least for the moment, especially if you share the same house.


But what if they do find the fetish clothes? I guess you could lie and say that it´s a costume for a party or Halloween (depending on the time of the year) but I don´t know how well that works and if you want to eventually be honest about your kinky side then you´ll have to admit that you lied at them first. So it´s really up to you, do you want to keep it a secret or do you want to be honest? It feels good to be open about such things, but I guess we all have our own feelings when it comes to what you want others to know and what not.

Is a name important?

You´d be surprised how important names can be, because when you meet people online then their name (wether that´s his or her real name or a name he or she has chosen to use) is one of the first things you´ll probably see. It´s difficult to take someone serious when he or she calls himself or herself the ultimate Dom/Domme. Of course there is nothing wrong with giving yourself a name that´s nothing like your real name, but remember that certain names might give others a bad first impression of you.


So it pays off to be original? Absolutely! Instead of being Ultimate Dom/Domme, MaSteR of PaiN or Goddes1234 you could come up with something original. This doesn´t just show that you´re original, it also shows that you care about your name and not just pick something random. Sometimes the name someone chooses has a meaning, maybe it´s just a meaning to that person but that can be important. Don´t be surprised if there is a story behind a name someone has chosen, especially when it´s an original name. Some people will even appreciate it when you ask him or her why he or she chose that name. It´s a good way to show that you´re interested in the other person and that you´re not some random person just saying hi.


First impressions are important and your name is one of the first things someone will learn when they meet you, wether that´s online or offline. Especially a name you pick yourself can say something about you, not just how original you are but also what that name means to you. I guess not everyone is willing to share this with just everyone but if you show sincere interest then someone might just tell you.


As a Dom/Domme you want to pick a name that fits well with you, of course you could just call yourself Master or Mistress and then your real name. You don´t have to pick another name, especially when you´re happy with your name or don´t see the importance in changing it then I wouldn´t advice you to do it. But it might be difficult to stick out as Master John or Mistress Jane when there are several Doms/Dommes out there that go by those names. If you decide to use a different name then you might want to choose something that makes people remember you, maybe even want them to get to know you. A name can be quite powerful, never understimate that!

An unexpected fetish

A lot of times when people ask you about a fetish they expect something like latex or leather, which isn´t that weird because that´s a fetish for a lot of people. But there are of course many more and it´s a bit silly to think that everyone is into latex or leather, because a lot of people are not into that! Even for a Dom/Domme this doesn´t have to be the case, you can be into a lot of things that aren´t latex or leather related.


A friend of mine is into wetsuits, she loves wearing them and seeing others wear them. But she´s not into diving or swimming at all, which might seem a bit odd but you can wear a wetsuit without getting wet....at least on the outside! I´ve heard the same about people that love equestrian outfits, they have nothing with horse or horseback riding but they love wearing the clothes and seeing others wear them. But it´s not surprising that a lot of people do enjoy diving when they have a wetsuit fetish or love horseback riding when they have an equestrian outfit fetish.


I´m sometimes amazed with what turns people on, but I don´t judge anyone because a lot of people have a fetish that could be considered as unusual. I actually applaud people that admit having such a fetish, eventhough sometimes you might want to keep certain things to yourself. Not everyone will understand and it´s safe to say that there will be people that make fun of you for having a certain fetish. It´s a good thing that you can find a lot of like minded people online, even when they don´t share your fetish they might still be willing to participate in it or talk with you about it.


Is it wise to surround yourself with something that turns you on? That depends, because this doesn´t have to be a problem for you. But if you´re turned on most of the day and can´t do your job then it might be a smart idea to do something else or at least find a way to deal with it. Too much of something is hardly ever a good thing, as weird as that might sound to some people. Just remember that something becomes more special and intense if you´re not exposed to it all the time, that might be something you want to keep in mind.