zaterdag 27 december 2014

It´s all about sex?

It seems a lot of dating sites and also fetish sites are full with profiles of people that are looking for sex. Not that there is anything wrong with sex but if that´s the main reason for looking for someone else then you might be having a rough time finding someone. But that doesn´t stop people from trying, sometimes desperately showing nude pictures hoping this will speed things up. Unfortunately for them it doesn´t!

To be honest I don´t care about dating sites but it bothers me that this is also on fetish sites, showing your private parts isn´t hot and it´s not a fetish! It´s just some desperate attempt to get some attention. I´m not talking about people that have nude pictures on their profile, I´m talking about people that have a nude picture as their profile picture. Which means every time this person sends a message or comments somewhere there is more of that atrocity out there, which is definitely not a good thing!

But it doesn´t stop at these nude pictures, there are also people that have to post pictures where they have sex with someone else. Is that a fetish? I guess some would claim it is but I can´t help but find it sad, probably because that´s one of the few times they got laid and immediately had to make a picture of it. Maybe some people make an art out of it but that´s definitely not the majority out there, it´s some juvenile load of bollocks!

As much as I hate it that´s probably as much as the majority likes it, because somehow these pictures get thousands of like and that probably also says a bit of the community on a fetish site. There was a time and a place that I thought it was where people could talk about their fetish and share interests with eachother. Now it seems more and more like it´s a place to find someone to have sex with and show off having sex with others. What the hell happened?!!!!

In a professional session with a Dominatrix you don´t even have sex! I guess it becomes even more rare to find like minded people out there, because the majority out there has other priorities and that´s perfectly fine with me but why does that have to be portrayed on fetish sites? I think there are plenty of porn sites where you can put all your sex pictures and leave everything fetish related for the fetish sites. It´s just a thought, one that clearly has not much support out there....

zondag 14 december 2014

Mind your own business!

It´s nice when people care about you, but sometimes this means that they´ll decide what´s best for you. This is something that´s not nice! It could be something small like what you wear or your hair style, up to the point where someone decides if you can go outside or not. Maybe this is part of a D/s relationship but there should be limits, I mean if someone completely controls you then that´s not healthy. I mean what if he or she tells you that you can´t talk to your family or friends anymore, is that ok with you?

So you should have some clear rules in a D/s relationship, which keeps things safe and fun for both of you. It might seem silly to some but to think that a D/s relationship can´t go wrong is truly silly. I don´t want to sound like a pessimist but it´s just realistic that people change, even when at first someone seemed nice that doesn´t mean that things are going to stay that way forever. Of course it´s nice when things go well and it might seem silly to talk about certain things, but if you want to have a D/s relationship with someone then things can get complicated and it´s better to talk about certain things early in the relationship.

What´s important in a D/s relationship? I think rules are important, things that are ok and things that aren´t ok. It´s also important that you trust eachother, just like in a standard relationship this is important and without trust you really have to ask yourself if this is someone you want to be with. I´m not telling you anything new here but you can´t expect people to go along with everything, no matter how much someone cares about you that doesn´t mean that he or she is in for everything. Maybe there are people who are but I wouldn´t expect this from everyone and definitely not expect this from someone without asking!

Give eachother space, as much as you might care about someone you don´t want to smother someone to death with attention or affection. At first this might seem cute but it gets old real fast! Is it wrong to care? Of course not! But too much of something isn´t a good thing. Sometimes you mean well but not everyone well accept that, so communication should definitely help with figuring out what you and your partner want in the relationship. Communication is the key to a succesful relationship, a D/s relationship isn´t an exception!