dinsdag 24 december 2013

Naughty X-mas and a kinky new year!

I think we all know how most traditional families spend X-mas, but what about kinky couples? Do you wear red and white latex with your sub having some reindeer horns on and a red nose? Of course tying up your sub with some X-mas decoration seems like an interesting way to introduce the holiday spirit into your kink lifestyle. So what about celebrating the new year? Well I saw this video of a guy who had a rocket up his butt, seems kinky but mostly painful and stupid. Still if that´s your thing then go for it! But for all the romantic souls there is nothing better than just spending the countdown together with the one you love and kiss when it´s the new year. It might seem a bit old fashioned but sometimes the old ways are the best!

What is a naughty X-mas? I can tell you what it´s not, it´s not singing around a tree and wearing a sweet reindeer sweater that your mother knitted for you. Instead of being a good boy or girl, this time you´re being a naughty boy or girl! Still the part of spending X-mas with the ones you love is possible as long as you keep it naughty! Maybe keep some latex under your casual clothing, that seems rather naughty to me. Just don´t forget that people who are naughty secretly want to get caught, so you might want to be careful about introducing kink into your vanilla family X-mas party.

My X-mas will be a shiny one, but for that matter it´s X-mas almost every day for me! I try to mix things up a bit though for X-mas, maybe some more colours in my outfit? Unfortunately there is no snow here so I can´t make any latex in the snow pictures, perhaps whipped cream is a good alternative? I know that it´s sweeter! I think the most important part of X-mas to me is to have some time for myself, which might seem a bit weird but some time for just myself is actually quite nice. Of course if I get lonely I can always invite some friends to spice things up, so don´t worry about me!

A kinky new year, what does that mean? It means that you celebrate the new year in a special way! What usually works for me is wearing something shiny and go crazy! It´s more fun to have company but if you decide to spend the last day of the year alone then you can still do it kinky! Just be creative and above all don´t let anything stop you!

I wish you all a naughty X-mas and a kinky new year!

zaterdag 21 december 2013

Season of leather

Most people already wear leather in Autumn but you can be certain that Winter will often grand you a large group of people wearing leather clothing. So everyone with a leather fetish should be quite happy. Even if you don´t like the cold you might want to go outside and spoil your eyes with some leather goodness! Because before you know it we´re back in Spring and then leather sightings in the open might be a bit more rare, I guess it does depend how the weather is where you live but I´d say most people usually switch to something different when it gets warmer.

I love leather, the way it feels and the way it smells. When I see someone walking in leather then that has my attention, I love the sight of people walking in leather and it makes Winter a great season for me. The beauty of leather is that it´s not just something that feels good, it also keeps you warm! But that´s also something that keeps people from wearing leather out in the open in the middle of Summer. Unless you´re as extreme as me, then you might sweat a lot but you still wear your favourite material! But Winter has just started and so we´re in the middle of some beautiful leather sightings.

People that wear leather are into kink? Oh I wouldn´t say that, I guess some people just like it or prefer to wear it because it keeps them warm. But since there are more materials that can keep you warm you can ask yourself why they would choose leather instead of something else? Leather can also give you a tougher look, so maybe that also has something to do with it. I wouldn´t think that everyone that wears leather is into kink, as much as I would love it to be that way. I think latex says a bit more about the wearer, people who wear latex are often into kink and yet that´s still not a guarantee. Just because you like to wear something doesn´t mean you´re into kink.

What I like to do when I wear leather is meet other people who also like to wear leather, we rub our bodies against eachother and have some fun enjoying eachothers fetish. Even an innocent vanilla housewife will be tempted to rub her body against another sexy leather body. I think leather can be a huge turn on, even if it´s not a fetish for you. I think it looks good on people, even when it´s pink. Of course I wouldn´t want to wear pink leather myself but I wouldn´t mind biting someone who would wear that. That´s another thing I like about leather, it´s quite strong so if I rub against it or bite it then it can handle that. Unfortunately the person wearing leather can´t always handle that....

zondag 15 december 2013

Sex dreams

Have you ever had a dream where you had sex with someone else? I think we all had those type of dreams, but what if that person wasn´t someone you would expect to be in a sex dream with? I don´t think I have to mention how awkward that can be, but maybe it can also be quite interesting. That friend you like and who is always there for you, maybe you can be more than friends? That colleague that´s always nice to you and with whom you have pleasant conversations, how about sharing a cup of coffee together somewhere private?

Is a sex dream a hidden desire to have sex with someone? I doubt it goes that deep, sometimes your dreams just go wild and that might lead to some strange situations in dreams. If you have absolutely no feelings for someone and you´re not interested in him or her in any way then I wouldn´t be too worried about it. Sure you might get a red head out of nowhere being around that person but there are plenty of excuses for that, so I wouldn´t be too worried about that. But if it´s a dream about someone you do like and you secretly do have feelings for then maybe you might want to explore that a little bit further. Of course the same rules apply when it´s a sex dream about someone you´re not interested in, because it doesn´t have to mean anything. But the real question is, do you tell the other person you had a sex dream about him or her?

This is completely in your hands, you don´t have to say anything you don´t want to. Especially if you´re very embarrassed about it, I wouldn´t recommend telling other people about it. Unless you completely trust someone with that information, I´d still keep it pretty casual, because going into great detail might make it funny for the other when it´s difficult for you to talk about it. I wouldn´t use it as an opening line to asking someone out, telling someone you had a sex dream about him or her might not always work out so well for you. That´s really something you tell a good friend or someone you just trust completely. Of course you can always give it a shot, you could tell someone that you had a sex dream about him or her. Who knows someone might find it interesting and it could be the start of something, but it could also make someone laugh at you or scare someone away. So you might want to be careful about sharing such information with someone.

What if the dream becomes reality? Well first of all congratulations, I don´t think all of us could say that! But seriously you shouldn´t think too much of the dream and definately don´t compare the sex with what happened in the dream. If the other brings it up then you can talk about it but definately don´t go into great detail. Because no matter how nice a sex dream can be, nothing beats the real thing!

dinsdag 26 november 2013

I want you to want me

It´s not only a good song, but sometimes it´s also how I feel. The feeling to be wanted by the one you love and the one that loves you. Telling someone that loves you that you don´t feel anything for him or her anymore is probably one of the most cruel things you can say to someone, especially when it´s about attraction. Of course some people are more sensitive to this then others, but I´ve seen people do some nasty things because of that.

You can´t like everyone and you can´t be attracted to everyone, we all have something we like or dislike. Sometimes someone that is deeply in love with you is absolutely not attracted to you, this can be quite frustrating and painful for the one who is in love. You could try to win the other over with poetry, songs, kindness or just by being yourself and show who you really are. Love on first sight doesn´t happen all the time, sometimes you´re friends before you become more than that or you´re even not that fond of the other at first. Love can grow, especially if it´s the type of love that is honest and from the heart.

Unfortunately most of the messages I get online aren´t from the heart, I´d say most people type with their penis when I read some of the messages I get. Ok so you´re attracted to a picture of me, but that doesn´t mean that you need to say how hard you are. I know that some Doms/Dommes are into these messages, they like to hear how much people spray their white love juice on their pictures. But not everybody feels that way, personally I find it quite rude to assume something just based on a picture or a few words. And yet I do the same in a way, I get a message from someone named hornyforyou and the messages says: I want to be inside you. Do I respond to that? No! Do I give this guy a chance to explain himself? No! Do I think that he´s a moron? Yes! Right there I judge him, it´s wrong and yet I can´t help but feel this way when someone wastes my time like that.

Does that mean you can´t say anything nice? Of course you can say something nice, for example there is nothing wrong with saying that someone looks attractive. A lot of people that are attractive know this, so don´t be suprised if you don´t always get an interesting reply to this. Try to be creative and find other things to talk about instead of how much you want to fill her up with your juice. Maybe some people are into that, but in a random chat online I wouldn´t recommend it. If you have a fetish in common, for example latex, then you have something to talk about. Maybe you can playfully talk about how you wouldn´t mind if he or she would be rubbing against you but leave it to flirting at first. If someone else picks it up and continues then you can go a little bit faster. It´s not that you have to be completely innocent!

There is nothing wrong with wanting someone, just don´t be  to forward with it when you talk to someone you don´t know or don´t know that well. A lot of people won´t take it kindly and it could be the end of the communication, it would be a shame if you could´ve had more succes if you just handled it differently. People often want to be treated as a person and not as a prize, learn to love someone for who they are and not what they do or what they wear. It can be hot to be wanted, especially if the other person is turning you on a lot. But remember to be patient!

woensdag 13 november 2013

Rubbing with rubber

When I think about rubber I think about something shiny, something I want to rub against and get turned on by the thought of doing so. Have you ever rubbed with your crotch against a rubber butt? Especially if you wear rubber it has this amazing feeling, which is for rubber lovers as close as you can get to heaven. Well there could always be more entertaining things you could do with rubber, but I do think that this comes pretty close!

The trick is to find someone who is just as much in love with rubber as you are, because a lot of people like rubber but not all of them like to wear it themselves. Which makes sense but it´s also a shame. Of course you can pleasure yourself in rubber, but as much fun you can have by yourself it´s only half of the fun you could have with someone else in rubber. That doesn´t mean that sticking a rubber hand in your pants is forbidden, there´s nothing wrong with some pleasure that you can provide yourself. Maybe when you close your eyes you can even imagine it´s someone elses hand.

I´ve met several people with a love for rubber, but I don´t know that many rubber couples. At least not people that openly confessed their love for rubber, which is quite understandable that you keep that to yourself. Judgement is easily cast these days and before you know it people will think you´re a freak. Eventhough a lot of people love rubber, I´d say at least half of them wouldn´t openly admit that they do. So I wouldn´t openly ask for people if they have a love for rubber like yourself, unless you really don´t care what others think about you. If by some chance you do meet someone else who is a rubber lover then it doesn´t automaticly mean that person is into you, something not everyone always seems to understand. As much as I´m attracted to rubber, that´s as much as I´m repulsed by people who assume things based on a little bit of information.

Maybe it´s just me but I think everything feels better in rubber, from the small things to bigger things. Yes that also means an erection, without actually touching the erection you can still feel it and when it looks so shiny under the rubber you just want to feel it against you. But don´t let that fool you that it´s only erections that feel good, a vagina that is ready for penetration feels good as well. A sensual rubber rubbing with another woman is very sexy, something you should really try at least once in your life!

zaterdag 2 november 2013

On your knees

As a Dom/Domme there is hardly ever any lack of people willing to serve, especially when you appear online. So many people seem to be eager to give themselves to a Dom/Domme. Often this commitment is given without any thought, probably it´s a way of hoping to get closer to a specific Dom/Domme or maybe it´s just one of those decisions you make without really thinking about it. That alone is already more than enough reason for me to take at least half of the offers I get not seriously, because so many people just say things they don´t really mean. It´s often just a means to an end.

Some people are actually suprised that a Dom/Domme would reject him or her, often I get a reply to my rejection that comes down to disbelief. Somehow there is this illusion out there that a Dom/Domme would accept anyone who volunteers to be a sub. I think it fits in the same place where some subs seem to believe that sex is part of the session, I´m not saying that it´s unthinkable but if it´s a session with a professional Dom/Domme then sex isn´t a part of the session. If you get payed for sex then there is a different word for that profession. It´s a shame that these illusions exist out there and I always try to correct that, but that doesn´t take away that some subs seem to believe in these illusions. Personally I get the idea that it´s mostly based on wishful thinking, but that doesn´t make it true!

I´m often careful with people that are so eager to serve, that get on their knees without any form of protest. You might think that it´s nice to have a sub that does exactly what you say, but I find it a little bit suspecious. Especially when I look at some online subs, but that doesn´t mean that it´s all bad. Some subs are really just that eager to serve, maybe being without a Dom/Domme for a (long) period of time makes you a bit more eager to serve? Still you shouldn´t be too desperate, especially for a first impression it could work against you. Giving someone a compliment is nice, but sucking up to someone is just sad. Maybe sometimes it works, but I think most Doms/Dommes would look through that. Probably the same way as some subs look through wannabe Doms/Dommes. Calling yourself a Dom/Domme or a sub doesn´t make you one, this is something some people don´t really understand.

woensdag 30 oktober 2013

You know you want to

A lot of times I get messages from people telling me that I look hot, which is nice to hear but then I really wonder why they say that. Is it because they think I look attractive, do they like my personality or is it because I wear some fetish outfit that drives him or her wild? Well I know the feeling, as a kid I already got excited by shiny outfits, I´ve already mentioned my Catwoman love in Batman Returns but there are of course more examples. For example in a music video by a Dutch duo called Critical Mass (I´m talking now about something from the mid 90´s) the girl was wearing a latex catsuit in one of the videos. Now that was love on first sight, I wanted to touch and wear that! But I was a teenager and not really that open about my love for latex, especially because nobody wears that where I grew up. But deep down inside my love for this shiny piece of material would grow over the years. Until I was mature enough to not care about what others think and just wear whatever I like!

This really brings me to the point, why do people often drool over your outfit but don´t really dare to come out of the vanilla closet and just admit that they love fetish outfits? I know that some people prefer to see others wear that instead of wearing it themselves. I can actually understand that, but personally I don´t find this attractive in someone. As much as I like to feel good in my outfits, I also like to see others wearing something like that. But that´s not always that easy, especially when most people you meet in your daily life hide behind excuses why they don´t like it or wear it. As a teenager I get it, but as an adult you can just be honest and say that you like something? I don´t ask people to parade through the streets wearing latex, but this complete refusal of doing anything seems a bit weak to me. This I only like to watch attitude, it´s boring and definately not a turn on!

But I don´t want to force people, if you´re not confident enough or just not comfortable with the idea of being seen with latex then don´t do it. Still that keeps me wondering, why deny yourself of something you really want to? So your family and friends don´t understand that? That´s a shame, it really is, but don´t let that stop you from doing something you like. As selfish as it might sound, sometimes you just have to do what you want to and not always think of what others might think or what they would say. You can live your whole life pleasing others and what do you have at the end of your life? Regret? If only I tried to put on a latex outfit, if only I tried to do something kinky. That´s why I think you should do what you want to do. To make it easier for you, with Halloween you could always wear a latex outfit and just say that it´s based on a character from a movie or something like that. You have a right to be kinky, you have a right to be interested in something less innocent and you have a right to look good in something shiny!!!!

maandag 28 oktober 2013

I´m horny all the time!

At first you´d probably say that you don´t see this as a problem, but remember that there are situations where you probably don´t want to feel that way. For example when you have to do a presentation, during a job interview, meeting the parents of your boyfriend or girlfriend, when you´re babysitting and there are probably many more situations where it´s not something you want to experience. Everything has a time and a place and being horny all the time doesn´t seem like something you want, at least I can´t imagine anyone who wants to feel that way.

I think even in a relationship the other might get enough of sex after a couple of weeks, especially when this person doesn´t have this horny feeling all the time. You can be nice and play along, but really after some time it must really get annoying. Especially when you´re absolutely not in the mood for sex! Refusing someone once for sex doesn´t have to be bad, but do it a couple of times and the other might think you´re no longer attracted to him or her. So always be careful about just saying no, sometimes it´s better to explain why you´re not into sex. Definately don´t point any fingers at someone, because that doesn´t help anyone! Someone doesn´t choose to be horny all the time, this is just something that happens. But to be fair I think that someone that is horny all the time shouldn´t expect his or her partner to always be in the mood as well. Once again communication can be a good way to handle this. Maybe with some regular sex you can find some more balance, if not then there is always a good chance that things will become less wild when you get older. But I wouldn´t guarantee that, some people are just hot!

What can I do when I´m horny but don´t want to feel this way? The smartest thing would be to think about things that don´t turn you on, you can even go so far as to think of things that disgust you. But also try to avoid things that might turn you on, which isn´t always that easy. Imagine working somewhere and you have to wear rubber gloves, if rubber gloves turn you on then you might be in trouble. I wouldn´t say change your job but you might want to wear some cloth gloves under your rubber gloves and probably not look at the other workers. There is nothing wrong with feeling horny, but you might not want that feeling all the time. So you could distract yourself with something hot or cold, for example some ice cream or a cup of tea. You could always bite on your tongue, but for some people pain is also a turn on. So really you probably know yourself what works best for you to counter an unwanted horny feeling. Just don´t be ashamed of it, because it´s a natural feeling and deep down inside you know it feels good!

zaterdag 19 oktober 2013

Primal lust

Do you ever have that feeling that when you see someone that you want that person? You´re not in love and it´s not really about anything really, all you want to do is have some wild sex with that person. Maybe some of you think that this is something silly, but really are we suddenly so civilized that we don´t know what lust is? Some people might only have sex with people they love and I respect that, but sometimes your body just wants something and who are you to deny that?

This feeling of lust can so easily be triggered by something, maybe it´s something someone wears or what someone is doing. Especially when the idea of a certain fantasy has been roaming around in your mind for some time, that´s when it becomes difficult to control yourself once you encounter someone that can make that fantasy become reality. Of course such encounters are quite uncommon, especially when it´s an unusual fantasy. But if leather turns you on, then you probably don´t have a hard time finding someone to get busy with. But it doesn´t always have to be something they wear or do, sometimes it can be as simple as an accent. I´ve seen people go wild for a French accent, to name one, and the person who had that accent didn´t really look like a fantasy.

No matter how you feel about someone or something, someone else can have different feelings about that. So jumping on someone in a sexual rage might not be the best way to deal with primal lust, unless that´s something both of you like then I´d say do whatever you like! But seriously, it´s not a good idea to be too forward with these things. As much as we have this primal lust in our bodies, we also have a brain (well most of us anyway). So don´t be shy to use that in moments of primal lust, because you don´t want to do something you might regret later. In the moment everything seems fine, but regret usually comes later....

The ideal situation would be if you and the other person have the same type of fetish, which will help you with getting turned on by eachother. Still this doesn´t automaticly mean that the other person is interested in you! If you´re good at reading signals then you should know when the other person wants you, if you´re not certain then play it a bit more careful. Oh before I forget, always use protection! Have fun!

woensdag 16 oktober 2013

Dominating in public

A lot of people that are into BDSM usually do this behind closed doors, which is quite understandable since not many people consider it normal to see someone walking around on a leash or kneeling in front of someone else. As civilized as our community might be we´re still not at a point that certain things are widely accepted, I guess it will depend where you do it but most of the time you´ll get some looks or people shaking their head. But how crazy is it really?

It´s nice when you have a good bond with your sub, but to take that from the bedroom to the street might be a big step for some people. Perhaps it´s even something some people can´t even handle, which isn´t something anyone should be ashamed of. Because BDSM isn´t widely accepted most of the BDSM community works behind closed doors, which is definately a shame! But there is something nice to have some privacy, so it´s not that bad. Still there are times that you just want to go out and be yourself, which in some cases means dressed up in latex and have your sub on a leash with you while you go shopping.

What is there to fear? Well the responses of other people are often something that people have difficulty facing, but really if you´re just having a good time and not harming anyone then why can´t you be yourself? If you feel good when you wear latex or leather, then you shouldn´t be limited in wearing it. The same counts for going out with your sub, if you´re having a good time with your sub then why keep it restricted to inside only? Of course it´s not nice to force someone to go outside when they clearly don´t want to, there is a thing called humiliation and there is just being a dick about it. Going outside dressed up and playing should be fun, not just for one but for both of you!

Of course you get responses, some of them are nice and some of them are not so nice. Just remember that you have every right to be outside, if someone has a problem with you being outside then that´s their problem and not yours! There is nothing wrong with showing dominance, I´d say it brings an interesting flavour to the D/s relationship. But because a lot of people will probably not understand you, you might want to take it easy. Personally I love to go outside with a sub, suddenly the area to play has become so much bigger! Just don´t forget to dress yourself warm in this time of the year!

zondag 13 oktober 2013

Wearing a mask

I think we all wear masks, some we can see and some we can´t see. I guess in the end only you know what is real and what is your mask. So why do you wear a mask? Well going back far enough in time there are actually enough rituals or cultural customs where you would wear a mask, even in modern times there are moments that masks are used. For example with carnaval some people wear a mask. But if someone would decide to wear a mask and walk through the city wearing that mask then he or she will probably get a long of looks from other people, because it´s not considered as normal to walk around with a mask on. Personally I don´t think it´s that weird, I mean if you´re just wearing a mask then who really cares? But in Westeren culture it´s important that you can see eachother, a lot of people don´t like it when someone else is hidden or at least not recognizable.

Are masks a sign of trouble? Well in the old cartoons you would often see the bad guys with masks on, for example in the Donald Duck cartoons and comics you have the Beagle Boys who always wear their masks. Even in disguise they would always wear their masks, which is like a sign that they´re bad. But are people who wear masks really that bad? Of course a cartoon or comic isn´t reality, so no people who wear masks aren´t always bad. In a way masks are often misunderstood and by some people even considered as something not of this time, maybe that´s true but I think that masks have a bigger role than a lot of people think. A mask can be for protection, but you can also wear it because you like it. A masks offers you some anonimity, which comes in handy when you´re doing things that not everyone can accept. I don´t even mean criminal activities, no I mean BDSM!

So why do I wear a mask? To be honest with you I first started wearing a mask for protection, I didn´t want to be recognized by people who know nothing of my life as a dominatrix. So my mask was my shield, it protected me and it helped because no one ever recognized me. But after some years of being a masked mistress it became more than that, my mask became my symbol and my subs would recognize me as the mistress with the mask. My mask became me, at least a part of me. When I wear it I´m Mistress Minerva, without my mask I don´t have this feeling as much as when I wear my mask. But that doesn´t mean that the mask makes me Mistress Minerva! It´s a bit difficult to explain, perhaps if you´re familiar with wearing masks then you know what I mean.

zaterdag 12 oktober 2013

Can spanking turn into abuse?

I´ve been getting this question a lot from people who want to try spanking with their partner, which is actually not a dumb question. I could be political about it and tell you a whole story and then give you the answer, but I´ll be direct here and tell you that it´s not like that. If someone truly wishes to spank you then it doesn´t turn into abuse, if someone abuses you then there is an intention for that and that´s not awakened because you allow someone to spank you.

But that´s easy to say, I mean one person isn´t the other and what if someone does get more violent with every spanking session? I think with spanking it´s about finding someones limit, how much can someone take and how good are you in finding that limit? I´ve heard stories about people that were quite unhappy with the spanking they received from their partner, because he or she wasn´t even getting close to the limit of the other. It can be scary at first, because you don´t want to permanently hurt your partner but at the same time you are trying something that arouses him or her and probably also yourself. The trick is to communicate, if someone remains silent you don´t know if you´re doing it right or wrong and if you should step it up. But on the other hand it´s also important that the person who is being spanked is very honest, when you can´t take more then just be honest about it. It´s not a contest and nobody thinks you´re amazing just because you can last longer than someone else, that´s not what spanking is about! But getting back to violence, it´s not impossible for someone to let loose some violence in a spanking session. But if this is controlled then it shouldn´t be a problem, still it´s not something I would welcome in a spanking session. You don´t spank someone to blow off some steam, it´s for pleasure!

Is it silly to be scared for your first spanking session? Well as I mentioned above, if someone spanks you for his or her arousal then I shouldn´t be too worried. Just make certain that you made some rules before you begin, also be very clear what you want and to use a safeword if things get too rough for you. There is no shame if you have had enough after a few hits, especially for a first time it can be quite intense! But even with all the rules and conversations things can go wrong, sometimes that´s an accident and sometimes it´s actually on purpose. That´s why I also recommend you do your spanking sessions with someone you trust and that you know for quite some time. It also helps if the one that does the spanking has some experience, but we all have to learn it at some point so don´t feel discouraged just because someone isn´t that experienced. It´s important that you both have fun, not just the one that is being spanked but also the person that does the spanking. It´s actually cruel to let your partner spank you when he or she doesn´t really want to do that, so make certain before you even think of starting a spanking session that you´re both a 100% behind this!

If you do feel like a spanking is getting out of control then don´t feel ashamed to stop, the moment you don´t feel comfortable with it anymore is the moment you should stop. Don´t let someone convince you to keep going when you really want to stop, because it´s not just about the other having fun! If someone truly hurts you and you want to stop, then make it perfectly clear to him or her! If the person that spanks you is still hurting you then it´s probably a good idea to get the hell away from that person! But I´d say in a loving relationship where spanking is quite new I wouldn´t worry about abuse, especially if your partner has never shown signs of that before. Just be careful and communicate, I´m certain that everything will work out just fine!

vrijdag 11 oktober 2013

Does your boss secretly want you to dominate him or her?

It´s not that uncommon actually, I´ve met plenty of people who have an important function in a company and love to be dominated. But what makes someone want to be dominated? Does it have something to do with their job or is it just in their nature? I think it´s unfair to say that it´s just in their nature, because how do you explain a switch? It´s more like a feeling inside, the will to dominate is one and the will to submit is the other. Of course everything isn´t always that black and white, but to put things in a simple perspective I´d say that´s how you could see it. So is your boss unhappy with what he or she does? Well I doubt everyone has a need to be dominated, some people absolutely don´t like it at all! I´m not even talking about people who like to dominate others, domination just isn´t for everyone.

I think a lot of people lead a double life, not that it´s always that drastic but I´m certain that the person you see at your work could be more than what you might see. You could work with someone for years and not know that he or she has a BDSM interest, because it´s not something people would openly talk about because it´s not openly accepted. When people find out that you have an interest in BDSM then they´ll look at you as if you´re an alien. It won´t take long for the lame jokes and soon people will make fun of you, because you like something that they can´t or refuse to understand. So imagine that your boss might not want other to know that he or she likes BDSM, that he or she secretly wants to be dominated. I´m certain some employees would love to dominate their boss, especially when their boss makes them work hard. So is there a way to find out if your boss likes to be dominated? Well you could always ask him or her, but I wouldn´t recommend that. There are definately subtle ways of finding out if someone has an interest in BDSM. You can safely figure that out by using terms used in BDSM, of course it will all depend on your relationship with your boss. If things are quite informal it´s easier, because in a formal situation you probably don´t have a casual conversation that often with your boss. But getting back to subtle hints, you can always mention things to check if they know something about BDSM. For example when you talk about trust you could mention that you would never tell anyone anything unless they know your password, which is quite subtle because it doesn´t necessarily mean that you´re talking about something related to BDSM. But another approach would be that if someone would want to get information out of you when it´s a secret that they´ll have to tie you up and torture you, the key would be that you´d mention that you wouldn´t mind. When you´d say that then you just have to pay attention to his or her reaction, of course this doesn´t mean that it always leads to succes or gets you a clear answer. As long as BDSM is frowned upon, people will hardly ever speak openly about it at work.

Your boss could also be a Dom/Domme, something that is also quite common. In a way that actually makes more sense, but a Dom/Domme doesn´t always have to be a boss to be able to do what he or she does. That innocent looking woman in the library could be a feisty dominatrix and that nervous guy that works at the bank could be a stone cold dominator. Looks can deceive and sometimes people have reasons for that, you should never reveal all that you are. Because when people know everything about you already, what is there left to discover?

dinsdag 8 oktober 2013

Sleeping in latex

It´s Autumn and the nights are getting colder, so it´s smart to keep yourself warm under the blankets. Some people have a partner they can crawl against for body heat and others use an extra blanket or an electric blanket, but I like to dress myself in some latex to keep me warm on those cold nights. Latex is really the type of material you can wear almost anywhere at any time, the only time I´m not that fond of latex is when it´s hot inside the house. Because sweating in latex isn´t something I consider as sexy, I know that some people like it but I´m not that fond of it.

So what can you wear to keep yourself warm on a cold night? Well latex socks or stockings are a good way to keep your feet warm, that´s usually the worst when your body is warm but your feet are ice cold! Of course you can wear woolen socks, but really do you prefer to wear those socks instead of latex socks? But even if you have someone else in the bed then it´s fun to tickle someone with your latex feet. Some like to wear a full catsuit in bed, personally I´m not a big fan of that myself. I love latex but I don´t like to wear too much when I´m in bed, so that´s really for the ones that just want to be very comfortable in latex. Latex gloves are also nice under the sheets, they keep your hands warm and they feel good on your body. Of course it´s more fun with someone else in your bed, but that doesn´t mean you can´t have fun all by yourself!

At first it kind of feels weird to sleep in latex, because when you´re not used to wear that much clothing in bed then it´s awkward to suddenly do wear more clothing. Especially the gloves and the stockings felt weird at first, but once you´ve gotten used to it then you can´t imagine sleeping without on those cold and lonely nights. I guess we all have our own ways to get some sleep, it doesn´t all have to be the same way and probably that´s for the best. You should stick with what you like and hopefully the person with whom you share you bed isn´t opposed to you wearing what you like. If they do object then you can always show them where your couch is, if he or she has problems with latex!

maandag 7 oktober 2013

Two kinksters, no dominant

This might seem weird to you but personally I don´t find this weird, because when two people both have an interest in kinky activities then why must one of them be a dominant? The most important part is that you have fun together! Maybe you´re suprised to hear this from a dominatrix, but a dominatrix isn´t all that I am. Sometimes it´s just fun to have a good time with friends, sure I can be bossy but then again that´s probably one of the reasons my friends love me. But it can go further than just friendly play, some people have a good relationship where there is no dominant present. If you keep eachother in balance then why must one exceed the other?

I´ve always been fascinated by people who have a kinky relationship but there is no sign of a D/s relationship, of course I mean with a kinky relationship more than just wearing that shiny outfit every weekend! Maybe it´s even easier without a dominant, I can´t say that I have a lot of experience in these kind of relationships. Because most people I´ve been in a relationship with clearly wanted me to be the dominant one, something I gladly accept. But wouldn´t it be nice to just have a good time with someone you care deeply for? You would be two good friends that explore and discover things about the other and about yourself. Perhaps that´s the best way to start in BDSM, not directly looking for a Dom/Domme but just finding someone like you who is new and just to have fun with.

Now don´t get me wrong, as a dominatrix I´ll always hold a big love for what I do! But as I mentioned above, it´s not all that I am. It would be pretty boring and simple if that would define all that I am. Maybe above all I´m a lover of kinky things, so that probably makes me a kinkster in my heart. In a way isn´t the love for kinky things that gets us interested in BDSM? It doesn´t even have to be all of it, but at least it all starts with a love for something different. Deep down inside you usually know what you are, but I don´t think the world is black and white. So that means that not everyone is either a Dom/Domme or a sub. Having a love for shiny things probably makes you a kinkster, playing with others in shiny things makes you a naughty kinkster and having someone lick your boots as you spank them probably makes you a Dom/Domme. Well that´s a simple way to put it, but at least that creates a picture in your mind.

So when you meet someone and he or she is into kinky things just like you, then don´t be alarmed if you or the other has no dominant side. Because a love for kinky things doesn´t mean someone needs to dominate. On the other side it also means that just because you like kinky things, it doesn´t directly make you a Dom/Domme! Some things you know by heart, other things you learn through experience. Whatever it is that you are, I hope you´re having fun with the things you do!

zondag 6 oktober 2013

That rubber touch

Do you remember when you first touched rubber? Did it make you feel weird in your private place? It actually started so innocent for me, a pair of wet rubber boots. They´re purely practical, supposed to keep your feet dry. But all I could think about is touching them and not just with my hands! It didn´t take long for me from touching rubber to actually wear rubber myself, because no matter how good it looks on others I prefer to wear it myself. As strange as this might seem to you, but when I get aroused by seeing myself in rubber then I know that I´ve done a good job. Of course it´s not about getting people aroused, I don´t like to make a mess, but wearing something that makes you happy. It´s nice if what you wear also makes others happy, well sometimes some people get a little bit too happy and then they still make a mess. But I can´t deny how much I love that rubber touch, from a simple rubber glove to a whole outfit!

Sometimes this fetish gets out of control for me, I see then people doing their work but then come the rubber gloves or the rubber boots and I know that it does something with me. As much as they´re just doing their job I just want to tie them up and have my way with them, maybe something is wrong with me? Some people might actually let me get away with it but I know these desires are just naughty thoughts in my mind, still they´re tempting and good material for some interesting stories I sometimes write. It´s funny in a way how someone who is absolutely not trying to be attractive can be irresistable to you just because he or she wears something that turns you on. But there is a danger that you´re into someone just because they wear something that turns you on. That makes waking up next to them naked a day later an awkward situation. It´s great if someone wears something that turns you on, but don´t be with someone just because of that. It´s not fair towards that person and some might actually be ok with it, but let´s be honest and agree that this isn´t really material for a solid relationship. If for some reason you´re just looking for some hot sex and the other as well, then don´t feel bad about it and just do what you like. It would be nice though if you mentioned to the other what turns you on, because you don´t want to be in the situation that the other suddenly doesn´t wear rubber but satin.

Of course you can have a loving partner that doesn´t mind wearing something that you like, I think that is a big must for those with a kinky fetish. Because the same boring stuff gets old real fast if that´s all you´re going to do, spicing up your sex life is never a bad idea! So maybe you have a strange fetish, if someone truly loves you then it doens´t really matter to him or her. But it might be smart to be careful what you say, because as acceptible some people can be not everyone will accept everything! Also don´t make it all about you, sometimes it also means that you wear something for your partner. You might not always like that, but if someone does something for you then it´s only fair that you do something for him or her. Just be careful what you agree to, if you truly don´t want to do something then don´t feel forced to do it just because you did something for the other. If you really don´t like to wear a gasmask then don´t do it, I´ve seen people passing out wearing one and it´s not something you want to make someone go through. If you can´t do one thing for someone then there must be something else, don´t be afraid to say no but also try not to say no too often. I think we all have a fetish that is acceptable for the other.

Online excitement

Have you ever met someone online with whom you´ve had a pleasurable conversation and you wish he or she would live closer? Well that´s one of the risks of meeting people online, because most of them won´t live next door. It can actually be quite frustrating when someone means a lot to you but meeting that person is just difficult, mostly because of distance and the expensives that come along with that. Maybe you feel comfortable to visit someone when they´re from the same country, even if that means traveling for a couple of hours. But what if someone lives on the other side of the ocean? Then the chance of meeting him or her becomes quite small, it´s not strange that some people just aren´t that interested in anything more than just friendship with people from another part of the world. I don´t blame them, but sometimes it´s a real shame. I mean if you meet someone with whom you have a good connection, when there is clearly chemistry between you and the other then you would most likely want to explore that further. Unfortunately this isn´t always possible, which often leads to just friendly conversations or some naughty online conversations. Online conversations are nice, but when the conversation gets spicy then it´s a shame that it will only be a conversation and that any real touching will have to be done by yourself.

No matter how good your imagination is, I don´t think anything can beat to actually have the person you have feelings for with you in the room. So you can have your online conversations, your pictures and videos but it will never be as when the person would actually be there with you. So having this spicy conversation will really become interesting if you both have a good imagination and some naughty thoughts. For example I had for a moment a lot of fun writing a story with a friend online, I would start the story and then she would continue. This would go on until one of us would finish the story and start another one, this lead to some interesting and sexy conversations. It´s actually a turn on to see someone being creative, to make a world where you and the other person can do whatever you want. Now before you think that this was just about us meeting and having sex then I´ll have to disappoint you, because we actually wrote a long story with a lot of details in it. Characters with backgrounds and even a full description of the places where the story took place. I always loved getting a message from her and then I´d be interested in what she was reading, which often lead to me getting aroused by her dirty but playful mind. Oh it´s not as much fun as actually spending time together but it´s better then just talking online about what you want to do with the other person.

Personally I think your mind is probably the most sexy part of your body, if you only knew what you could do with that then you´d probably not even think about using your hands. Well maybe some of you would, I mean there are desires and a quick release might just be what the doctor has ordered. The thing is that people who talk about having sex and what they would want to do with the other are often the same idea, there is hardly ever any creativity in it and fantasies often are poorly explained. For example I could say that I like shiny things, but that´s not being clear what I really like. Some might think I get turned on by plastic or glitter, well I´m not! But even if you guess it right, yes I like latex so what will you do with that information? Are you going to tell me you´re dressed in latex and you´re horny? Well that´s not much of a story, that´s just getting to the point as fast as you can. Maybe some of you like to get it over with quickly, but some people like to enjoy certain things. When I see someone in latex I don´t think that I need to jump on this person and have sex. Oh sure the thought will run circles through my mind but that´s not interesting is it? You want to feel the latex, taste it and rub your shiny butt against it. I could write an entire chapter just what it would do to me when I see someone in latex, that is just talking about feelings and describing the scene. I´m not even talking about approaching the person in latex, that´s just all desire and naughty thoughts put into words.

So share your kinky thoughts online, be creative and find others with a similar taste as yours. But don´t be afraid to try new things, because why stick with what you know when there is so much else out there for you to discover! A word of advice though, I wouldn´t talk about fantasies in my first message to someone else. First get to know someone and you can check if there are similar interests and maybe a possible connection. Then go further from that point, that is if the other feels the same as you. Maybe distance stands in your way of being with someone, but online you can be as close as your minds will allow it!

dinsdag 1 oktober 2013

Pretty pleather

Some love it and others hate it, but the reasons to hate it are often based on the fact that it´s not real leather. Personally I love pleather, it´s a cheaper version of leather and it´s not that different when you compare it to leather. Sure some people will say that leather is much better, perhaps that´s true but that doesn´t automaticly make pleather bad. What I also like about pleather is that it´s often a lot cheaper than leather and people won´t whine that you´re wearing an animal. I don´t know how the animal activists are in your country but here things can go pretty crazy! Have you ever been chased by people with a paint brush? Well I haven´t either, but it doesn´t look like it´s fun....

When I touch pleather I don´t feel like I´m touching something weird, all this negative talk you hear about leather is often from leather elitists. It´s often not even based on experience with pleather, a lot of time it´s just a prejudice. I´ve got pleather clothes, I like to wear them and I don´t get any comments from people that recognize pleather instantly. Also when you see someone in pleather will you really be negative? Will you say: "oh you sure look hot but I´m not interested in you because you wear pleather!" Pleather is something for people who prefer not to wear leather or just don´t have the money to buy leather, so why should it get so much negativity? I mean does someone that wears leather actually feels himself or herself better than someone that wears pleather?

The most important thing when wearing clothes is that you feel comfortable in it, don´t worry what other people have to say! Because there will always be people that won´t be positive about your style. As a goth that´s something that I encounter a lot, people that hate your style. There isn´t even a real reason for it, some people just hate to hate. Don´t let that discourage you in any way! Wear what you like to wear, don´t be afraid to try something new and if you´re a bit nervous about wearing something then first try it on and let some good friends tell you how it look on you. When I look at pleather then I see something I want to touch, I want to lick it and I want to smell it. In a way just as I want to do that with leather.

zaterdag 28 september 2013

Black lipstick fantasy

I´ve noticed that a lot of people seem to have a thing for black lipstick, maybe because it´s not something a lot of women use or maybe because it just looks good. Often I get messages about people who love my black lipstick, it´s sexy and they wish I would suck them off. Unfortunately for these people I don´t consider sucking a stranger off as a fantasy of mine, so good luck with that people! But it´s interesting how people seem to like black lipstick and not always the goth look. Of course you don´t need black lipstick to have a goth look but often people seem to identify goths with black lipstick, personally it doesn´t bother me if they do but it´s a shame if that how a lot of people seem to recognize goths. Anyway black lipstick is considered as sexy by a lot of people, but what is so sexy about it?

Black is sexy! That´s a simple answer but I really think it looks good on almost everyone. Which is quite suprising that you don´t see a lot of people in black, which makes perfect sense when it´s hot outside but what about black lipstick? It looks good and if you´re looking for attention then you´ll definately get it, but you should really wear it because you like it. Never wear something because someone makes you, because I´ve had a girlfriend that tried to please me by wearing black lipstick but in truth she didn´t like it at all. Of course I value it if someone does something nice for me, but it shouldn´t be at the cost of your own happiness!

So why is black lipstick not that popular? It´s difficult to say but it has probably something to do because it´s identified with goths and when you don´t want to be seen as a goth then you´ll probably don´t want to wear it. Just remember that black lipstick doesn´t make you a goth, if you like it then you can just wear it. But don´t be suprised if people stare at you, it´s not that common and especially when you´re a man it´s considered to be weird to wear lipstick at all. But just between you and me, black lipstick looks sexy on everyone. Both men and women!

maandag 16 september 2013

Everything or nothing

Something that really bothers me is that people these days want everything or nothing, there is no gray area. When you show pictures then it has to be nude, when you meet someone then there has to be sex. Of course this doesn´t count for everyone but I seem to notice that this seems to count for more and more people. Some people are actually skipping the introductions, they don´t really have questions for you but just want to know if you have Skype or anything like that. What happened to hi how are you doing? My name is.... Maybe that´s old fashioned and I´m a relic from the past, but I care for manners and polite interactions with eachother. If it´s all about just eating, sleeping and sex then what´s the point of it all?

I want to make one thing clear, this isn´t just about men sending women annoying messages. I´m well aware that women are in some cases just as much to blame, when they´re just looking for sex. It´s not a bad thing is it? Well it´s not, but when that´s all you´re getting then I´m not that happy about it. Not on any of my profiles is there a message that says come respond to me and we can have a quick shag. And yet that´s all I seem to be getting lately, well longer than that actually but it´s one of those moments that this is all I´m good for apparently. Sex is nice but it should never be the first thing you talk about in a message to a stranger online or someone you meet somewhere else. I know that people feel safe behind their screens and think that they can do and say whatever they want, in a way they actually can. But will it ever lead to succes? I wouldn´t count on it!

Just think of how you would respond to someone you´re attracted to in real life and when you´re interested in someone online, the rules don´t change and so the behavioiur shouldn´t change either. But we´ve all gotten so brave, we´ve all fallen so far from anything that was right. I won´t deny that online flirting is fun, but when you´re just asking to turn on your webcam and finger yourself then it´s just stupid. Apparently you´re stupid and lame if you don´t show your breasts or vagina online, because we all seem to have a right to see it. Do we? Do we really have a right to see everything? As far as I know your body is yours and you deside what you do with it! So what about subs? They let you do stuff right? Indeed, with certain rules in mind I do things that some might find questionable but it´s with agreement and not because I´m just a sadistic bitch!

So what´s the difference, where can you draw the line? Just stop asking for someone Skype or whatever you want to use to communicate in the first message, such private information must be earned and even after talking for weeks some might not give it to you. Sometimes people are just not that interested in you, it happens so deal with it! Just because you live in the same town doesn´t mean that you have to meet, so never make such a suggestion in your first message. Get to know someone, take some effort in listening and ask some questions that are related to what the person was talking about. It´s not difficult to be social, it´s not impossible to learn. Some might think there is a quick way to get lucky, I won´t disagree but you´ll often have to pay for that luck! If you´re ok with that then go for it, just don´t expect women you meet online to do the same. To all women that might read this, remember that you don´t need to do anything you don´t want to! Even as a sub you have choices, you don´t have to do something you really don´t want to. Especially not to some douchebag online who thinks he owns you! You can show pictures you´re comfortable with, if you don´t want to put nude pictures then don´t do it. Remember you decide what you do with your body, not someone else!

vrijdag 6 september 2013


I think we all have a moment in our life that we have a desire for someone or something, maybe some people have more than one or multiple at the same time. It would really depend on the person having the desire what type of desire it would be and if he or she would have more than one. I don´t think having a desire for someone or something is a bad thing, as long as you play by the rules. Because nobody wants unwanted attention, just remember that you know when to back off and move on. It sucks if someone doesn´t share your feelings, but that´s part of life and you´ll just have to move on. I guess romantic movies will give you some type of hope that opposites attract and in some cases that might be so. But as much as you might want it to, your life is not a movie and there isn´t always a happy ending. This might be cold and harsh, but that´s how it is and whining about it won´t change anything!

A lot of people will probably have a fantasy of some sort, maybe an attractive woman in latex or a man dipped in chocolate. There is nothing wrong for wanting that, but never force such a fantasy on someone. I´ve had a girlfriend that didn´t like latex or leather, I never forced her to wear anything she didn´t want to. Being in a relationship means you give and you take, but it doesn´t mean you force and you take. It´s of course nice if your partner shares your fantasy or has no objections to make that fantasy come true. Unfortunately this doesn´t count for everyone and it sucks if the person you love has no interest in your fantasies. I guess you can talk about it and maybe make a deal, she does something for you and you do something for her. But it´s tricky, sometimes your fantasy can scare someone away and that fear can keep you from telling something you really want. I think when you´re in a relationship and you really love someone and the other really loves you then you should be able to talk about anything. But just to be safe, certain things are probably better left out. If you want to be a human toilet then I don´t think your partner would like that, so it´s not a stupid idea to think before you say something. I´m not a big fan of keeping secrets when I´m in a relationship, but I think when it comes to something extreme you might feel more tempted to keep certain things a secret unless you´re absolutely certain that he or she wouldn´t mind.

But getting back to when someone doesn´t see you as you see them, an unanswered love. I would recommend not giving up too soon, if you really love someone and the other shows a little bit of interest then you can do your best to win them over. Write poems, sing a song (if you´re a good singer, nobody wants to hear how a cat gets strangled!), organize something special for that person or just be yourself and spend some good quality time together. It sucks when you´re in the friend zone, when they can´t see you as more than just a friend. Maybe it´s even worse when you´re a very good friend but still nothing more. That´s frustrating but it happens and there is nothing you can do about it. Because being persistent and bothering that person with your affections might not help you advance with your plans. Perhaps being that good friend might actually help you get closer, don´t be too disappointed if that´s what you are to them. Show that person who you are and what you can be for him or her!

So desires, what to do with them? Well you could other people about them and maybe find someone with a similar interest. Of course you probably should be careful where you would put such information. But probably most of the time you´re here on Earth you´ll be keeping desires to yourself, because it´s not easy to confess them to others and even when you do then it´s not always easy finding someone that would be interested in that. But never say never, we´re not that unique that we don´t share similiar interests. About twenty years ago I thought I was the only one that got turned on by latex, well that turned out to be more popular then I first thought. Life is full of suprises, so never be afraid to tell someone what´s on your mind. But I would suggest to think before you speak, you don´t want to spill your deepest and darkest desires to someone who has absolutely no interest in them!

donderdag 29 augustus 2013

Sex in the stables

Do you know someone with a fetish for riding clothes? I doubt someone will openly admit that, not that someone should be ashamed, because it´s not a common fetish or at least not an openly known fetish. When you have a fetish for riding clothes it means that you like to see people in riding clothes, but when you´re straight I guess you just like to see someone of the opposite gender in riding clothes. Still it´s more than just watching, you want to feel it and taste it! So in a way it´s not that different then a fetish for latex or leather. But there is often another thing added to a riding clothes fetish and that is the location, this means most times being in the stables.

I´ve noticed that a lot of guys have this fetish for seeing women in riding clothes. Maybe it´s the tight pants, the shiny boots or the whip they´re holding. I guess you could even go so far that a submissive man is attracted to a woman that controls a horse, which is an animal that is bigger and stronger then she is. I´ve heard multiple reasons why men like women in riding clothes, but it usually comes down to him wanting to have sex in the stables with a woman wearing riding clothes. Some are very direct about it, but others can go into great detail how it would be and what they would want to happen. Then you also have people that like to include the horses, but that´s a direction I´m not going to discuss. I´ll leave that to someone else....

So what is so special about having sex in the stables? Well for your average person not much I guess, unless you have a fantasy of having sex in a pile of hay. Maybe it´s just the place to have sex when you meet someone special there, why go somewhere else if you can find a nice spot in the stables? Perhaps it could also be so that it brings out some primal force inside you, no logic or thinking about what you´re doing and just go with your primal feelings. I guess it has a different effect on all of us, maybe some people even find it repulsive to have sex in the stables. Well rolling around in crap doesn´t really seem like a turn on for me but maybe other people have different opinions about that.

I remember this girl I used to ride with, what I didn´t know back then was that she had a thing for me. After one riding session she stood next to my horse and out of nowhere started kissing my boots. She held my leg tight and slowly pulled me down and jumped on me. Usually I get turned on by riding, the tight pants around my crotch moving up and down on a leather saddle has a stimulating effect on me, so I didn´t resist her and went along with it. Was it the best sex I had? I wouldn´t go that far but it was one of the most intense moments I´ve shared with someone, just passion and instinct that lead to an explosive eruption in both of us. Sometimes you don´t need to think about something, then you know what you want! So maybe sex in the stables does bring something special out of you, but I guess it would really depend who you are.

donderdag 22 augustus 2013

You know you have a rubber fetish when....

I´ve never made it a secret but I´ll say it again, I love latex!!!! I know I´m not the only one, because the comments don´t lie when it comes to latex pictures. Still latex isn´t widely accepted and you don´t see many people wear in in their everyday lives. So what makes latex so unacceptable to be seen in it? Is it because a lot of people associate latex with a prostitute? I´m certain people will have their reasons for not liking it, at least that´s what they´re saying. But do people really hate it that much?

When you see a man or a woman in latex, you see they´re shiny body moving around and it brings out all the best of their body. How can you not feel an attraction to that? I guess with a rubber allergy you have a good reason but otherwise I´m just getting the idea that you´re fooling yourself if you hate that. I mean is it really so terrible when someone in latex is rubbing with his or her butt on your crotch? When you saw Catwoman in Batman Returns didn´t you want to lick her clean? I´d say you´re only denying yourself of great pleasure by pretending you hate it, but if you think you can live that way then by all means feel free to do so.

But how do you realize that you have a rubber fetish? Well it´s actually not that difficult to discover, just look up some latex pictures on the internet and if you get turned on by what you see then it´s safe to say you have a rubber fetish. Of course a rubber fetish goes a lot further then just looking at pictures. Because you want to feel it, taste it and smell it too! Maybe you know someone that has latex boots, gloves, top or pants. If you feel yourself attracted to them because they wear something made out of latex then that might be because of your rubber fetish or you´re just attracted to them as a person, everything is possible! But once you´ve had a rubber finger in your mouth and sucked on it, then you want more!

I can definately understand if people are reluctant to admit that they have a rubber fetish. Not everyone will understand it and many would want to make fun of you, but just remember that the people that make fun of you might have the same fetish (or maybe even something stranger) and are cowards for not daring to admit it! So when you experience a fantasy by having sex with your partner in latex they´ll just be stuck in the same old routine with their partner. I´m certain a lot of people have an interest in it, some might even have an entire fantasy about rubber while others are just curious. I´d say if you have an interest then explore those feelings and maybe you discover a side of yourself that you didn´t even know you have!

Rubber doesn´t only feel good, it also tastes good!

vrijdag 16 augustus 2013

Men that secretly love CD/TV but hide this from their girlfriend/wife

It´s no secret that there are some hot and sexy looking cd´s and tv´s out there, some can really make you stare at the screen as you´re amazed by their beauty. So I don´t find it strange that there are men who are in a relationship with a woman that look up these pictures. That´s not a problem, not at all. The problem is when they bother these cd´s and tv´s with obscure messages and try to hide their own lust for them. Is it so bad that you´re attracted to a cd or tv?

On datingsites it´s nothing new, when a cd or tv (or women in general really) post an ad then there are usually plenty of unpleasant messages. Some are the simple messages with messages like: you´re hot, I want you, suck my dick, etc. There are even men who go so far to contact them and start naughty conversations, but the moment they´re done (which doesn´t take long for most men) it´s over. They don´t contact the cd or tv anymore and probably go sleep next to their girlfriend or wife. Clearly these people are hiding a part of who they are, to like someone but they´re ashamed to admit it. Often their girlfriend or wife has no idea of these fantasies and adventures their boyfriends and husbands have.

Personally I find it stupid to treat people like that, a cd or tv is a person just like you and me. They deserve just as much respect and they shouldn´t be treated as jerk off material, something you can dispose when you´re done. Playing with someones feelings is cruel, but in a way people who behave like that are sad. To lead a life where they always have to lie, to the one they live with and to the one they talk to online.

Isn´t it better just to come clean? To tell your girlfriend or wife the truth, it doesn´t have to mean the end of the relationship and if your partner loves you then maybe you can talk about it. I´m not saying every woman feels like sharing her man with a cd or tv, but maybe you can spice things up in the bedroom. Maybe he has a fantasy to dress up as a woman, discover things together and play. Isn´t that much better than wasting your time online and waste the time of people who actually are looking for someone to be with?

zondag 11 augustus 2013

D/s relationships, how to make them work!

Some people think that it takes something special to make a D/s relationship work or some even believe that a D/s relationship won´t work on the long run. But to be honest, a D/s relationship isn´t that different compared to a vanilla relationship. It´s still about two people loving eachother, trusting eachother and spending time with eachother. The things you do in the relationship are a bit different though.

First of all you need someone that fits well with you, so having the same interests and kinks definately helps. But it´s not like you have different kinks that you can´t be together, as long as you can please eachother then I´m certain you can work things out. Just remember that if you have a fantasy of being in a gangbang that you partner might not like that, some don´t always say it but it´s nice if you think about the other every now and then. But it´s not just restricted to that, sometimes people just don´t like things and you can´t force them to like them if you want the relationship to work!

Trust is very important in every relationship, so a D/s relationship isn´t the exception. If you can´t trust the person you´re with then how can it ever work? If your partner ties you up and you don´t trust him or her, then you´re in for one scary experience! Trust must be earned, never easily given. Just because someone is a Dom/Domme doesn´t mean he or she is to be trusted. Anyone can call himself or herself a Dom/Domme. If you get to know someone and you have a mutual attraction then you can explore that or just go straight for sex. I would suggest using rubber, not just for protection but also to keep things spicy. I mean you´re in a D/s relationship so leave your vanilla coat at the door!

Are there really D/s couples that have been together for many years? As a matter of fact there are couples like that, it´s true that not everyone feels that way in a D/s relationship but it´s definately not impossible. If you´re interested in a long term relationship then it´s probably smart to mention this at the start, if the other just wants to fool around then it could be awkward to bring it up in bed after sex. So communication is also important, just like in a vanilla relationship.

Where do you find people interested in such relationships? Well check your local BDSM meetings or a fetish dating site. But it might be strange to talk to someone you just met and asking them to be in a D/s relationship with you, so don´t be a tool and go straight for the prize. Get to know the other and see if there´s a connection. Find out what the other likes and maybe you can use that to seduce them. For example if someone likes latex then wear latex, the same counts for anything else. But I would warn you to be careful that you don´t get carried away, you don´t want to tattoo yourself and then find out it was all for nothing. Also try not to be too much invested, dedication is nice but obsession is creepy!

Good luck!

donderdag 8 augustus 2013

When your boyfriend/husband loves anal

A lot of guys like the standard positions, they just do their thing and at the end of the show they go to sleep. But is that really how it goes for everyone? Did you ever had a fantasy where your girlfriend/wife would penetrate you? A strap-on is a good toy/tool for women who lack  the necessary equipment. But how do you know if your boyfriend husband likes anal?

Well it´s not something you can read on their faces, but when there is trust between you and your partner you´ll feel more comfortable to share private information. Even information that might be sensitive and something that they´ll want to stay secret for as long as possible. If you want to spice things up in the bedroom then anal is something different that you both can try, the fun thing is that it works for both partners. Wether you´re male or female, as far as I know most people have the necessary entry/exit hole!

Some guys are worried that having an anal fantasy makes them gay. Well for all of you who has this idea, don´t worry about it. If your partner is a woman, if you´re only attracted to women then you´re still straight. Even when your girlfriend/wife is inches deep with her strap-on inside you, it doesn´t make you gay. I guess there is a gray area when it comes to transsexuals, but if you see them as a woman and they want you to see them as a woman then in my opinion it doesn´t make you gay. You´re attracted to them for being and looking like a woman, so that still counts as being straight in my book! But there is no shame is being bisexual, so don´t worry too much about it.

A little bit of advice for having anal sex for the first time! If you´re the one penetrating someone for the first time then make certain that you don´t go in wild. You can really hurt and damage someone if you´re not careful! Start slowly and then you can increase the pace a bit, but for a first time you don´t want to go all rodeo style on someone. Especially if it´s also the first time for the receiver! If you don´t want to go anal then make that clear, no matter how much the other whines or begs. It´s your body and if you´re uncomfortable with something then don´t do it!

maandag 5 augustus 2013

Online Doms/Dommes

Thanks to our technology we can contact eachother from miles away, this makes it easier to form friendships and relationships. Also for Doms/Dommes it´s a way to get in touch with subs, but how reliable is this type of communication? Are online Doms/Dommes real Doms/Dommes or just pretenders?

It´s difficult to say who someone really is if you´ve never met him or her and the contact is only through messages online. But this doesn´t make someone a liar, it´s just another way of people reaching out to other people. Of course not everyone is who they say they are, so it might be tricky to find a real Dom/Domme. But there are ways of checking if someone is real and when someone is pretending.

Profiles without pictures are usually suspicious, because if you can´t even see one picture then they clearly have something to hide. Also be cautious when you see pictures that look too good to be true, I´m not saying that every attractive person online is a fake but people like to use pictures of other people when they are not happy with their own appearance. But it´s not all bad, some people are shy or they just don´t want to be recognized by family or friends. Pay attention what people are talking about, Doms/Dommes who know little about BDSM are either new or just not who they say they are. Don´t be afraid to ask questions, there is nothing wrong with some curiosity!!!!

So does an online D/s relationship work? Well it could, but just like an online vanilla relationship it will take a lot of work on both sides. Always be cautious though, some people like to get private information from you and that can lead to less friendly situations. My advice is to listen to your feelings, if you feel like you can trust the other then go for it. But if something feels wrong, even the slightest thing, then you should be on your guard.

For people who are uncomfortable at events or don´t have the courage to go to a Dom/Domme can always try to find someone online. Maybe if you build up a bond with someone you can meet up, but this isn´t always what´s necessary. But if you´re only going to have online contact then I don´t know how long it´s going to last, there might be a point in someones life that they want more. Maybe then you have to ask yourself if you want more, if being online with someone is enough....

vrijdag 2 augustus 2013

How to get in touch with a Dom/Domme?

I don´t know how good your communication skills are but from my personal experience I don´t get a lot of proper messages. Most of the time I don´t even get messages just invites to be friends with some random douchebag. I don´t know how this works out for them with other people but I seriously doubt that it leads to anything good. It doesn´t take a lot to say hi, besides if you don´t feel like saying hi then why would a Dom/Domme feel like adding you as a friend?

If you write to a Dom/Domme always be polite, don´t assume things and definately don´t go into details from the start what you want. A good idea is to first introduce yourself and tell a little bit about yourself, then you can ask some questions but for a first message it´s better to be short and to the point. What I mean with that is that you don´t talk about the weather or how much you like cats, it can be fascinating to talk about once you know eachother better but it´s not interesting to talk about in a first message.

Not every Dom/Domme finds it important that you write about him or her with capital letters. Like Him or Her, but to be safe you can start with that because some do prefer that or even demand that! Always be respectful, so it´s better to be formal than informal. Try not to be a suck up, some Doms/Dommes might like that but some really hate that. If a Dom/Domme likes that, then he or she will mention it. Don´t assume anything, get to know someone and then maybe you get an idea who he or she is. Just remember that you get to know someone as good as the other lets you.

So where do you find Doms/Dommes? Well you can find Doms/Dommes at meetings or fetish events. If you don´t feel comfortable around that many people you can find Doms/Dommes on fetish websites, maybe even dating sites if you´re lucky. A friendly reminder, just because you´re polite and friendly doesn´t mean that you get a reaction from a Dom/Domme. Maybe they´re busy, some Doms/Dommes get a lot of messages, or maybe they´re not interested. On a website try to have an interesting profile, have some pictures of you and tell a bit about yourself. If you go to a meeting or event try to look good and don´t act like a creep. That should get you further than hi how are you doing?

woensdag 31 juli 2013


A man in uniform is sexy, you´ve probably heard of that but is this true and can the same be said about a woman in uniform? I like uniforms, well not all of them but some definately look good. But a lot of uniforms are worn too much, as if they have nothing else in their closet to wear. If you´re going to dress up then try something else every now and then, you don´t want to be known as the one suit man or woman.

When I look at latex uniforms almost everything looks good, I guess the only type of latex uniforms I don´t like are the bright ones because they hurt my eyes. Though having a pink latex friend to play with isn´t something I´d refuse, but I would wear sunglasses! Latex offers you a lot of different uniforms and often with a bit more of a fetish design, but you can still see what type of uniform it´s supposed to be.

Uniforms are fun if you enjoy roleplay, for example the cop that pulls you over for a busted tail light and then you have wild sex in the back of the car. I think the nurse uniform is pretty populair as well, though nurses here don´t really dress like the fetish nurse. Which is a shame though, but I guess it might be too tempting to end up in the hospital otherwise!

People who actually wear a uniform for their job probably wear it a bit more than they have to, at least if the uniform looks good on them. But some uniforms are not supposed to be worn outside work hours, so I guess that isn´t always possible. That´s why your bedroom is probably the best place to wear your uniforms, if it drives your partner wild then things can only get hotter!

As a dominatrix you also wear uniforms, something a dominatrix makes her own uniform. Though the traditional thigh high boots and shiny top with gloves are probably the way most people see a dominatrix. I´ve mentioned it before that not every dominatrix wears that. But I like it and I wear it myself!

zondag 28 juli 2013


It´s bloody hot here so one the last things I´d like to think about right now is gloves, but when the temperature is a bit less warm then I like to wear gloves. It´s not that strange really, a century or two ago a lot of people would wear gloves. Usually for formal occasions or just to keep their hands clean. But it´s also a good way to hide less attractive hands. These days people use gloves a lot for work, to protect their hands or in a sterile environment. But I just like to wear them because they feel great and look good!

You have gloves in different sizes and types, personally I like the long ones because I think they look better. But we all have our own favourite, so don´t feel discouraged to wear a type of glove that isn´t populair. It might be more difficult to buy them though, but a lot of fetish shops should have some gloves in stock. As much as I like to have shiny fingers in my gloves I find it more practical to have fingerless gloves, because it makes it easier to handle my whip or other accessories. Of course these fingerless gloves are also in the longer style.

So when or where do you use gloves? I don´t think gloves are only usuable in the bedroom, why not go out with your shiny gloves or have a party at your house. As a Dom/Domme you´ll probably use gloves for a more practical use, but subs might be allowed to kiss them as a sign of worship. They also look good on people who go for the full rubber doll look. Having your hands uncovered might ruin the look, but some nice gloves can help you with that. Also if you´re unhappy about the way your hands look or you just don´t feel like putting nail polish on your hands, then gloves can cover up less attractive hands.

During sex it can be even more exciting for someone to wear (rubber) gloves. For example when you finger a woman or go anal with a guy, when they feel the glove inside them it might be a huge turn on. Otherwise you can always touch their body with your gloves and drive them wild, massage the breasts or cock and before you know it they´re at a boiling point. Just remember to clean your gloves after every use of them, it´s not nice to stick your butt gloves in a vagina!

vrijdag 26 juli 2013

Thigh high boots

For me thigh high boots are a part of the ultimate fantasy, I can´t really describe what makes them so special but seeing someone wear them or walking around in them myself just feels good. With feeling good I mean that it makes me horny as hell. Especially the shiny version with the long heels, the laces look good but if I´m wearing them myself I prefer zippers. It takes some time to get them on but once you walk around in them you feel good and you look good!

Unfortunately not everyone feels that way, at least not openly, because women in thigh high boots are often mistaken for prostitutes. Of course this is ridiculous, as if a woman can´t walk around in thigh high boots just because she likes them. I´m glad though that more and more women seem to break free from closed minded thinking and just wear them when they feel like it. I almost have to control myself not to compliment someone for wearing thigh high boots in public, it´s a nice sight and it brings some beauty in sneakers and ankle boots society.

Thigh high boots are also expensive, at least if you want something good. But like so many things in life, if it´s good then you´re probably willing to pay a bit more. You´ll be suprised that there are many places where you can buy them, though the offer is probably bigger than the demand. Unless a lot of people do buy them but wear them in private. Which is something I do understand, but it´s still a shame.

In some movies thigh high boots also show up, for example in the dark knight rises. I don´t think I have to put the Halle Berry Catwoman next to the Anne Hathaway Catwoman to show you the difference, don´t get me wrong I think Halle Berry looks good but she´s just nowhere near Anne Hathaway as Catwoman. Do the thigh high boots make the difference? Well that would be too much honour, but I do think it´s part of what makes that outfit look better! If you don´t believe me then feel free to watch both movies and see for yourself!

woensdag 24 juli 2013

An older lover

I think there was a time and a place that it wasn´t uncommon to marry to someone that was older than you, this someone would usually be a man and you would be a woman. There would often be an arranged marriage smell to this union, but if it works then who really cares. These days people marry or get together with people that are of all ages and genders. The barriers that seem to once hold certain people apart now seem to be broken, making sometimes unusual couples.

Probably one of the first things you hear when people talk about a couple, where one of the two is (a lot) older than the other, is that the younger only stays with the older for the money. I´m not saying that this is false, but I doubt this is the truth in every relationship. So what is so special about having an older lover? Well experience can definately bring some nice suprises, for example positions you´re unfamiliar with or just some old school moves. Some also claim that older lovers are more faithful, I don´t know if that true because a cheater is a cheater and it doesn´t mean that a cheater won´t cheat on you when he or she gets older.

If you´re interested in someone that is older than you, then there shouldn´t be a problem to talk about that. See if the other also has feelings for you and then explore those feelings together. It´s nice if you can make it work, have a relationship and all that. But if it doesn´t work, for some reason, then at least you tried. Society might frown upon relationships between two people of different ages, but really this is nothing new and it shouldn´t keep you from being with someone you love.

I´ve had an older lover, she´s 20 years older and as horny as a teenager. We both have an interest in BDSM so that really made things interesting in the bedroom, but also outside the bedroom! Not once did I feel weird to be with a woman that is a lot older than me, because we were in love and you don´t think about age when you´re in love. The sex was great and I never felt like I should take it easy with her, because she could keep up just fine with me and I think she might even be wilder than I could imagine.

zondag 21 juli 2013

Accidental turn on

Have you ever wrestled with a friend and discovered you had an erection or that you got wet? Did you get a hug from that hot nephew or niece and discovered that you´re rock hard or soaking wet? Then my fellow sinner you´ve had an accidental turn on, which isn´t actually a sin but I guess some people might see it that way. It´s not a crime actually to get turned on by someone else, but it might be a bit awkward if it´s a relative or a good friend.

But it doesn´t always have to be a person, it could be a situation or an object even. Getting excited seeing someone eating a banana or suck on a lollipop. Having someone rub against your back in the train when he or she is moving behind you. There isn´t always foul play at work, sometimes these things happen and your body might not always recognize the innocence of it. Which might lead to you getting turned on or a sudden need to pleasure yourself. Either way, it´s awkward when you´re in the company of others that prefer not to see that side of you.

So how do you avoid an accidental turn on? Well since they´re accidental I doubt there is much you can do, but it might help if you pleasure yourself more often. Blow off some steam and the pressure might be less, so you don´t get turned on that quickly. Still for some people it´s only a look or a touch that is enough to get them turned on, in that case it might be better not to leave the house. Though that might make you socially awkward....

Getting turned on isn´t a bad thing, you´re not a villain if you get an erection or if you get wet. Guess what, most people get turned on but it´s not often something you´d talk about with family or friends. If you think it´s inappropriate to get turned on by a certain person or something then you should talk about that with someone you trust, I wouldn´t recommend keeping it all to yourself and suffer the torture every time you see that person. Who knows, maybe that friend feels the same about you and you can be more than friends. Though feeling a hard cock against your body or smelling a wet vagina does make it clear as well, it´s just a bit less subtle!

zaterdag 20 juli 2013

Cyber sex

In this age it´s different to get around it, computers are everywhere and if you want to speak with your friends you´re often required to go online. It´s not much different with finding that special someone or just someone to have sex with. Thanks to the internet the world is at your fingertips, people who live far away can be as close to you as is possible with modern technology. Cyber sex is one of the ways you can get more intimate with someone, without actually touching them. The question is, is this something you´re interested in and if so do you think it leads to something more?

I´ll let you in on a little secret, well I doubt it´s a secret but I´ll tell it anyway. Some people go crazy when they see a woman in latex or leather, it often brings out the idiot in them and they want to get to know you. I say get to know you but to be honest they wish they could get intimate with you, but distance often keeps that from happening so the next thing they´ll ask will be if you want to cyber. This often leads to refusal and so the quest for some cyber sex continues, apparently it´s just too much of a bother to go out and actually meet people.

But is it all so bad? Is cyber sex really just a sad way of getting intimate with someone? I´d say it really depends with whom you´d want to do that. With a stranger might seem exciting but it´s nice if you know at least something about the other before you get into that. For example if the attractive woman you saw in the picture actually is a woman and not just a man pretending to be that woman. But it´s also important that the person you want to cyber with isn´t a creep, someone that says weird things and goes into stalker mode from that moment on. Always choose your partner wisely, just as you´d would with real sex.

Cyber sex isn´t bad, but it could never replace real sex for me. In the movie Demolition man you see Sylvester Stallone having future sex with Sandra Bullock, they both have a helmet on and that projects images into the other persons mind. The weird thing is, while they´re doing that they´re in the same room with eachother and they can see eachother. It´s a nice idea for the future, but when you´re in the same room with someone else isn´t it just better to have real sex?

donderdag 18 juli 2013

Angry sex vs make up sex

Maybe some of you think that it doesn´t matter, sex is sex and it should both be good. But that´s not what I´m after, I´m trying to figure out what is better. In a relationship people often say that make up sex is the best type of sex, I don´t know if they really mean that or if they just say what other people are saying. Angry sex is more violent, I don´t mean that people will bleed and that a vagina gets utterly destroyed in the process but it´s less innocent. So how to choose between these two, what would you prefer?

Let´s first look at angry sex, this might seem like an unhealthy type of sex that could even be considered dangerous to some people. Angry sex isn´t sex with a knife on your throat, that seems more like rape or if done with a willing partner rape play. It´s more like you had a bad day at school or work, the food is horrible and the weather is bad. You have a lot of frustration in you and you need to let it out, but at the same time you´re horny as can be. If your partner feels the same way then you can start having some angry sex, though it doesn´t require both people to feel that way. It´s not for the faint hearted and if you like rainbows and unicorns then this is probably not for you!

Make up sex is exactly what it means, after a fight in a relationship you make up with sex. It´s much more innocent and less intense than angry sex, so for a more vanilla type of relationship this might be more appropriate. It´s not bad sex, absolutely not, but it´s so sweet and innocent that it doesn´t turn me on. Sure I get horny when stimulated properly, but I can´t say that it does it all for me.

It´s not difficult to figure out what I prefer, but I don´t want to talk too badly about make up sex because it definatly has some benefits. It´s just that I prefer angry sex, stretching some poor virgin and make him or her scream so the neighbours can´t sleep. To be honest with you, there is no loser between angry sex and make up sex. Whatever you choose, you´ll still get lucky!

dinsdag 16 juli 2013

Forbidden fruit

If we believe what the bible says then there was this piece of fruit that made us more aware of who we are and what´s going on, also after eating that piece of fruit people started having sex with eachother. So maybe it wasn´t so bad to eat it? Anyway food seems to play a role during sex (for some people), from thinking about to actually eating or using it for pleasure. Some people actually get turned on by food, though I´d rather not think about how that would look.

Your parents probably told you as a child that you shouldn´t play with your food, well it seems that some people do like to play with their food and do naughty things like sticking a banana in their exit hole. Now that might be a bit extreme but some consider that as pleasure, though some people also consider eating a delicious steak as pleasure. But just sticking food in certain places doesn´t mean that´s all to it, some people rub grapes in someones face or put whipped cream on their nipples.

The good thing of food is that it´s not hard to get it and the prices are often reasonable, so instead of getting a dildo you get a banana. The problem with food is that it won´t stay good for long, so it would always be a temporarily thing. Personally I have a problem with using food for pleasure, I mean I like pleasure like everyone else but using food for that seems like a waste. Because when I pleasure myself with a banana I don´t feel like eating it anymore, though some might disagree and still eat it. So imagine that banana to be inside someone else, that doesn´t make it more appealing for me to eat!

What I find interesting about this fetish is that some people seem to be ashamed for it. Even when they know the other also has some kinky fetishes, people with a food fetish still seem to be reserved talking about their food fetish. Which is ridiculous, because who doesn´t like to lick some whipped cream from nipples? If you´re honest and have an understanding partner they´ll be more accepting then you´d think. Though you might have to do something for them as well, but that only seems fair to me!

zondag 14 juli 2013

Living in a cage

This might seem odd to you but in truth a lot of us live in a cage, with our daily habits and automatic behaviour we´ve created a cage in which we feel comfortable and protected. But this isn´t about that, this is about people who really live, or at least spend a lot of time, in a real cage. Is this weird? I guess to some people it seems weird, though I must admit that people who spend a lot of time in a cage are a bit extreme. But it´s nothing new in BDSM, to use a cage to take away someones freedom.

Of course there are easier ways to dominate a sub, it doesn´t always include fancy toys or expensive devices. But for those that wish to invest a bit in their hobby, a cage can be a nice addition to your dungeon. With a cage you take away the freedom of your sub, they become completely dependent and they´re at the mercy of their Dom/Domme. Maybe some Doms/Dommes keep cages as decoration, though personally I´d think that would be shame not to use it.

It goes without saying that a cage isn´t for everyone, being in a confined space isn´t something everyone can handle and pushing someone in such a situation can lead to a panic. So make certain that you know what you´re doing before you get in the cage, also as a Dom/Domme don´t force your sub into something that will cause him or her to panic. You might think it´s funny, but if it were you in that situation it would probably be less funny for you.

Some people say that living in a cage changes you. If you´re talking about the hour you spend in it on a daily basis then I can´t take you seriously. But for those that are committed to staying in the cage for months, then I´d say that you might be right. I would like to add to this that it´s not healthy and I wouldn´t recommend it to anyone. Still if you feel like it and you have a Dom/Domme that you trust, then go for it!