zaterdag 31 januari 2015

Your fantasy

We all have a fantasy, well maybe some have more than one but let´s assume that we all have at least one fantasy and that´s the one thing that would make you very happy or turn you on. But what should you do with that fantasy?

It´s easy to say that you should try to make your fantasy reality, because the moment you do that it´s not your fantasy anymore but reality and reality isn´t always as nice as your fantasy. Which means you could ruin your fantasy by trying to make it reality. That kind of raises the question if it´s a good idea to make your fantasy become reality, because you don´t want to ruin your fantasy! So what do you do? You do nothing or do you carefully try to see if it´s possible to make your fantasy become reality?

I´m not trying to scare you here, if you have a fantasy and I really do mean a fantasy and not just something that turns you on then it would be nice if that could become reality. But you should be careful, because it´s easy to ruin your fantasy and that might have some serious consequences for your fantasy. You could ruin it in such a way that you want nothing to do with that fantasy, which is a shame because you should cherish your fantasy and not abuse it or waste it!

So what do you do? First of all you look if it´s possible to see your fantasy become reality, this can be harsh but it´s important that you realize if it´s possible or not because otherwise it would just be a waste of time to try and make it reality. This means that you´ll have to be honest and not try to make it work whatever the cost. If it is possible then it comes down to finding someone that is willing to make that fantasy come true with you, that might be the tricky part because what one person likes the other might not like and not everyone is willing to be a part of your fantasy. You don´t want to force people to do anything and if they´re truly sincere in making your fantasy become reality then that´s one step closer to seeing it become reality. But don´t let that make you greedy and ask for more or change things, be clear in what you want and respect the opinion of someone else. Which means that some people are willing to be a part of that but with certain conditions, if you can´t accept that then be honest about it!

Is it better to keep your fantasy as a fantasy? Sometimes it is, but it really depends on what your fantasy is. Sometimes it´s not that difficult to make it reality but unfortunately not everyone has a fantasy that is simple. So don´t be surprised if your fantasy will remain a fantasy, perhaps that is sometimes for the best. That doesn´t mean you can´t enjoy life or that you haven´t fully lived! Life is what you make of it!

zondag 25 januari 2015

Being a Dom/Domme

It´s easy to say that you´re a Dom/Domme, especially online when anyone could be whatever he or she says. But who says that you are who you say you are? I´m not even talking about men pretending to be women, I´m talking about someone who says he or she is a Dom/Domme while this person isn´t and probably has no idea what it means to be a Dom/Domme.

What really bothers me is that there are subs out there that fall for nonsense these fake Doms/Dommes tell them. Why does it bother me? Because of these fake Doms/Dommes people get the wrong idea and it hurts the BDSM community in the process, sure one or two people don´t make a difference but there are a lot of fake Doms/Dommes out there and that´s not a good thing!

Eventually these fake Doms/Dommes will make mistakes and even a new sub will sooner or later figure out that someone is fake, but it sucks that your first experience with BDSM is tied to lies and stupidity. Worst case scenario would be that it makes you dislike BDSM or makes you hesitiate to continue with BDSM, just because someone ruined it for you. Don´t give up so soon though! Because it´s worth investigating!

Being a Dom/Domme is so much more than holding a whip in your hand and shouting commands, it´s actually quite sad that there are people that think that this sums it all up. BDSM is an experience you can share with others and together you can make magic, no not the type you see in the Harry Potter movies but incredible things that you wouldn´t experience in your every day life. Is that still a bit vague? Good, because if I tell you exactly what it means then what is there left for you to discover!

What I see a lot of fake Doms/Dommes do online is act like an asshole and then expect others to respect you, I don´t know where this works but it fails in most situations. As a Dom/Domme you earn respect and that doesn´t happen by acting like an asshole towards everyone else. Also don´t expect people to always agree with you, just because you´re a Dom/Domme doesn´t mean that everything you say is the truth. The worst thing is when certain people bring their personal drama online, which might be fun for some to read but when you´re trying to talk about things that actually matter it can be quite annoying!

In the end you are your own type of Dom/Domme, there is no need to act in a certain way or else you´re not really a Dom/Domme. You don´t have to wear latex or leather, you don´t even have to use a whip! Just be yourself and if you´re truly a Dom/Domme then that´s all you need to be a Dom/Domme. You don´t wake up one day and decide to be a Dom/Domme, you´re born as one and even when you don´t realize that at first that doesn´t make you less of a Dom/Domme then those that do realize that.

zaterdag 17 januari 2015

Leather everywhere!

Have you noticed how more and more people wear leather? Not just for a special occasion but also for casual situations, which is quite interesting to me. I love leather and prefer to wear it every day, but there are situations where it´s probably not that appropriate. I doubt you can wear leather with every job and even when you could then it´s not always a smart idea when your leather clothing can get dirty or even damaged while working. So there is usually a time and a place for leather clothing!

It´s interesting though how some days are leather days and other days aren´t. Maybe that sounds odd to you so I´ll explain. A leather day is for me a day when I see several people wearing leather clothing. Maybe this doesn´t seem special to you but there was a time when I only had a couple of leather days in a year, but now it´s close to at least once a week! I don´t count my own leather clothing for a leather day and there have to be at least fiver different people wearing leather clothing, otherwise I wouldn´t consider it a leather day.

So why is leather so popular? Speaking from personal experience I´d say that it keeps you warm when it cold, it also feels and look great! Enough reason to wear some leather clothing! Unfortunately it´s not always the right weather for that, but in a mild Winter there is a good chance to see more people wear leather clothing and then everyone with a leather fetish will have a great time looking at some interesting outfits.

The worst time of the year would be Summer when hardly anyone wears leather, at least not outside, and when it´s almost impossible to wear leather yourself. If you do feel like wearing it then you´re in for a sticky surprise! But I guess that´s where the leather fanatics separate themselves from the leather lovers. I wouldn´t blame anyone for leaving their leather clothing in the closet when it´s warm, sometimes it feels like it´s hardly worth the sweat. But that makes times like these, Winter, more precious and also more likely for you to find others like you that also love to wear leather.

zaterdag 10 januari 2015

Do you have to be dominant in everything you do?

That´s up to you, but there isn´t a rule that you have to be dominant 24/7. For example when you go out with friends you don´t have to behave in a certain way, because you don´t play dominant as a role that´s the type of person who you are. So this means you don´t behave in a certain way because it´s expected of you, you behave in a certain way because that´s who you are!

If people don´t like your behaviour then that´s too bad, because you don´t have to pretend to be someone you´re not! But it´s not a bad thing to keep the dominant side a bit under control, as much as you feel like whipping your friends I doubt that most of them wouldn´t really appreciate that. But being dominant isn´t restricted to wielding a whip. I doubt that being dominant is put into just a couple of words, there are so many ways of expressing yourself and we all have our own ways of doing that. Besides there isn´t always a need to express yourself with dominant behaviour, a Dom/Domme likes to relax as well every now and then!

Some people do expect a lot from a Dom/Domme, which then sometimes leads to disappointment for this person because Doms/Dommes are people too and don´t always live up to certain ideas. As a Dom/Domme there is very little you can do about that, because when someone steps into a session with certain expectations then there is a good chance that he or she will be disappointed. Don´t try to live up to certain expectations, do what you always do and what works for you. Of course it´s not a bad thing to break the routine, that keeps things interesting.

Could you pick a Dom/Domme from a group of people? Maybe some people can, it´s not like a Dom/Domme has a sign on his or her head but body language can say a lot and social behaviour can say even more about a person. It´s the trick to pick up on that, while certain things are quite obvious other things can be easily overlooked if you don´t know what to look for. That doesn´t mean you should behave differently around people that don´t know about your life as a Dom/Domme. Even when they don´t know about your Dom/Domme side they probably know you as a dominant person, it doesn´t have to mean anything to them and things start to get suspecious when you suddenly behave differently. Just be yourself!

zondag 4 januari 2015

A spicy year?

Lately I´ve noticed the amount of latex and leather on tv, I´m not talking about movies or series but just people wearing this. Maybe this isn´t something special to you but I find this quite interesting, because there was a time and a place people weren´t that comfortable showing this kinky side. Somehow people are less worried about that or it´s just more accepted to wear less casual clothing, which is still a good thing!

I noticed politicians wearing leather pants and skirts, sometimes even leather jackets. Then there are some that wear high heels and combine that with a short skirt. This counts for the women, somehow they have more balls then their male colleagues. But it´s not just politicians, it´s in talkshows or even reporters. I´m not saying all of them but there are some that are quite expressive with their choice of clothes, something that is definitely nice to see.

But what does this mean? It doesn´t have to mean anything, I mean what one or two people wear on tv doesn´t mean much. But I do find it interesting that this is allowed, because I doubt everyone would appreciate or accept a style like that. So when a woman appears on tv wearing a shiny leather skirt then I can´t help but be less focused on the news she´s telling me and more focused on what she´s wearing. So it might distract but that´s a distraction I don´t mind. Besides it´s nice to see that there are more people that like to wear latex and leather, especially in public.

Does this mean people that wear latex or leather are automaticly into BDSM? Of course not! But that won´t stop people from speculating or maybe even having fantasies about certain people they´ve seen in latex or leather. I guess that´s to be expected if you show yourself in something like that, but I wonder if everyone is happy with that. I guess it doesn´t really matter, as long as it makes you feel good then who really cares what others think of your style in clothing!