zaterdag 28 juni 2014

Desperate Doms/Dommes?

As a frequent visitor on the internet you´re probably familiar with people that are desperate (aka attention whore), people that make nude pictures hoping this will get them attention and often it does. But the attention they get isn´t always what they´re looking for. Even if it is then it´s still a desperate move to go there. You might think only some people do this but in fact there are a lot of people that do this, even Doms/Dommes!

Nude Doms/Dommes? Well it´s nothing new really, but I find it so distasteful when people post nude pictures online in some desperate attempt to get attention. As a Dom/Domme you should have some dignity, well to be honest every person out there shouldn´t post nude pictures of himself or herself online. Even on certain sites I wouldn´t recommend it. As a Domme I find it difficult to understand why another Dom/Domme would do such a thing, because posting nude pictures has very little to do with domination and it´s actually more a submissive move in my opinion.

What wrong with nude pictures? In a way there is nothing wrong with nude pictures, but it´s wrong to post them online for everyone else to see them. If it´s something you want to share with someone special then so be it, but to go online and share it with the rest of the world or even in a certain group of people just seems weird to me. Because what type of signal do you give to others? Not a dominant signal! But then there are people that call this art, well that´s probably a matter of opinion and I don´t see how that justifies someone posting nude pictures. I find it rather disgusting when people have to show nude pictures just like that, what happened to teasing pictures where you could only see a glimpse that made you want more? A lot of people seem to have lost their creativity and decided to show everything just like that, easy and simple!

Of course it doesn´t end with just one or two nude pictures, no some people have a penis profile picture that appears everywhere. It´s great that someone is proud of his or her private parts but keep it in your pants, nobody with even the slightest hint of intelligence wants to see that! It´s sad that Doms/Dommes also participate in such behaviour. But it doesn´t surprise me, a lot of people say that they´re a Dom/Domme and they´re just a sad case that lives in a fantasy world. What does surprise me is that it´s not just young Doms/Dommes, even the older Doms/Dommes seem to do this. Which is quite sad and I´m disappointed that people are so easily turned to something that is just sad. But maybe that´s the world we live in now, you get to see everything and you don´t have to do anything for it.

zondag 22 juni 2014

Hiding the smell of rubber

When you like latex then you probably know about the smell, which isn´t a bad smell but you can clearly smell it if there is latex near you. Which is why some people that keep their kinky life a secret have a difficult time trying to hide the smell of rubber in their house. Which is understandable but it´s not a crime to have latex clothes! Besides if people recognize the smell then they´re probably more familiar with latex then they´re willing to admit!

Why are people hiding the latex clothes? A lot of people find latex clothes weird or they assume that you must be a prostitute or something like that. Somehow wearing latex makes you a bad person, at least in the eyes of some people. Nobody likes to be judged, especially not by family or friends. So to avoid such unpleasant moments it´s quite common that people hide their latex clothes. Which also means that they have to hide the smell of rubber, because that can be quite strong.

What about people that wear latex clothes under casual clothes? People who wear latex clothes under their casual clothes take a risk, but are most likely willing to take that risk. But it´s usually new latex clothes that have the strongest smell, so don´t worry about latex clothes that are a bit older. I wouldn´t underestimate the power of the smell though, but if you don´t care about that then do whatever you like. Just remember that people will notice the smell and then the questions come, so I hope you have a good excuse ready or if you feel like sharing your kinky side with others then by all means tell them about your latex clothes. I wouldn´t be ashamed, but I can understand why some people prefer to keep that side hidden from family and friends.

How do you hide the smell? You can use candles with a nice smell to them when you light them, it brings a nice setting to any room and it can perfectly hide that rubber smell. Of course if you don´t like candles you can also spray some deodorant or something similar in the room, it´s not that difficult to hide the rubber smell. But you can also just put your latex clothes in a good spot where family and friends don´t get close, a private closet to give it a name. I actually like the smell, so I don´t really see the need to hide it. When people ask me what that smell is then I just say it´s a new game, that usually has a type of plastic smell and for people that are unfamiliar with latex it could be the same thing. But to anyone that is familiar with latex they´ll know it´s not!

zaterdag 21 juni 2014

Don´t be afraid to ask for advice!

I heard something disturbing a couple of days ago, a young Domme asked for some advice and instead got a lecture from an older Domme. This older Domme decided to judge this young Domme purely from what she could read on her profile and went even so far to read all the public messages she had left, which shows that this older Domme was just an annoying cow with too much spare time. What´s I´m trying to say is, don´t be afraid to ask for advice!

What´s up with the negativity? Don´t be suprised to get negativity from people when you ask for something, for every nice comment there will always be a bad comment and there isn´t much you can do about that. But instead of letting that keep you from asking for advice you can just ignore the bad replies and focus on the good ones. There are actually people out there that are willing to help!

So people judge eachother? Welcome to the internet, where people judge eachother based on (almost) nothing! Yes it´s that bad, but you shouldn´t let that keep you from asking for advice. Sometimes people with experience forget that there was a time and a place that they were new to BDSM, but now they think they know a lot and have the right to judge those who don´t have a lot of experience. If that´s what they think then they´re not as experienced as they think, they´re definately not as wise as they think! There is nothing wrong with asking questions, this way you learn and learning is never a bad thing!

It´s sad really that people hesitate to ask questions out of fear for bad responses, I guess there is always a risk that people will reply and won´t be nice to you. But never let that keep you from asking for advice! Actually people that will attack you are often sad people that have no life and thus see it as their job to keep you from having a life as well. So instead of being worried about people like that you could feel pity, if you are willing to waste time on people like that. Make the most of the time you have and don´t be afraid to ask for advice! You´re never too old to ask for advice!

vrijdag 20 juni 2014

Handbook of happiness!

(1) Be happy! Yes whenever someone says that it makes me want to shoot myself, but to be honest when you feel sad then things usually don´t get better by staying sad. So embrace that little bit of happiness you have left and hug the crap out of your teddy, it´s time to smile!

(2) Embrace yourself! No not literally! Well you could do that, but I mean that you should accept who you really are and stop pretending. If you can´t accept yourself then how can anyone else accept you?

(3) Smile! Oh yes that can be difficult, how the hell can you smile at others especially when you don´t like them? Instead of thinking what you don´t like, think about what you do like. Otherwise try to imagine people being naked or strapped in latex, that usually makes me smile!

(4) Make love, not war! That seems like a good idea but how to make love when you´re alone? Unless you have no hands then there shouldn´t be an excuse, but seriously treat others with respect and hopefully you get respect in return! If people hate you for being yourself, then they just need a hug or a kick in the face! Oh wait, that´s not love....

(5) Do the unexpected! Sounds daring and I guess it is, but if you always do the same stuff and it makes you unhappy then maybe it´s a good idea to try something new! You don´t have to be extreme with such things, but if you want to spice things up then you won´t get complaints from me!

(6) Listen to music! Music has a strong effect on people, so don´t underestimate the strength of music! If you´re feeling sad then listen to something that makes you happy or maybe even hopeful. It´s better than watching how grass grows, which can be fascinating but you don´t want to look back at your life and mention that as one of your highlights!

(7) Do good things! It seems simple but people don´t always think of the greater good, it´s easier to think about me me me me me me....well you know what I mean! If you do something nice for someone else then that makes you happy as well, bring happiness to others and you´ll feel better yourself. If not then at least the other person is happy, that´s at least something!

(8) Meet new people! Hanging around the same people all your life might be boring, even when it´s not then it´s nice to meet new people and maybe meet someone interesting. Don´t be afraid to say hi to strangers, they don´t bite! Well not all of them....

(9) Take good care of yourself! It´s nice if you always do things for others, but don´t forget about yourself! Take a day off and have a great time with whatever it is that relaxes you. Remember, it´s not forbidden to use your hands!

(10) Don´t listen to what others tell you to do! Hah didn´t expect that, did you? In a way that means forget about everything I just said, but you could also think about not trying to please others but try to find your own way in life. Don´t be afraid to follow your own dreams, even if that means leaving family or friends behind. Not everyone can always follow you on your path, which is a shame but that´s how it goes. But there are other people you can meet along the way, don´t let anyone or anything stop you from being happy!

zaterdag 14 juni 2014

Do people treat you differently when they find out about your kinky lifestyle?

Some people with a kinky side keep that side hidden from family and friends out of fear that they´ll be treated differently or even lose contact with them. I won´t say that this doesn´t happen because it does happen and it sucks, but then again if your friends treat you differently because of something you like then they´re not really your friends. Family is a bit more complicated, you can´t pick your family so you might be even more reluctant to tell them about your kinky side but sometimes family can suprise you and be supportive. Unfortunately not everyone has that much luck.

Do you have to tell your family and friends about your kinky side? No you don´t have to, maybe there are Doms/Dommes that forces their sub to tell their family and friends but I disagree that a sub has to do that. Because with this being so personal I find is unacceptable for a Dom/Domme to mess with that and any decent Dom/Domme wouldn´t do that! Maybe it´s a friendly push to help a sub, but it´s best not to mess with someones personal life. There is nothing wrong with support but there are limits and ruining someones life seems off limits to me!

How do you tell your family and friends about your kinky side? If you´re uncertain about it then I´d suggest you think about it some more before you tell your family and friends, because once you tell them you can´t take it back. Of course there is nothing to be ashamed off, but sometimes it´s better to keep your kinky side and your family and friends side separate. They don´t always mix that well and it´s sometimes difficult to explain to family and friends why you like certain kinky things. It´s sometimes easier to just keep it from them, but I can understand it can be difficult to not include family and friends to a certain part of your life. Just be careful with what you say and remember that not everyone will understand or accept a kinky side.

I think crossdressers have a difficult choice to make when it comes to telling family and friends about their crossdressing side, which sometimes becomes much more than just dressing up. I´ve heard several times that people are scared to tell their family and friends because they think that they won´t be accepted if they would know. It´s tough to tell them and sometimes it´s better not to tell them, especially if you´re pretty certain that they won´t accept that kinky side of you. I think you know what´s best and if you should or shouldn´t tell family and friends about your kinky side. Just remember that there are friendly people out there, people that accept you for who you are and love that kinky side just as much as you!

zaterdag 7 juni 2014

How do you know that someone has a kinky side?

It´s not easy to figure that out, especially if someone keeps that side hidden. It might be tempting to assume things but that could turn ugly if you´re wrong, so the best thing you can do if you want to be certain is just ask. But try to be subtle about it, asking directly might be invasive even for a friend! So instead of asking if someone has a kinky side you could ask how they feel about wearing latex or leather. It doesn´t have to mean anything but at least it gives you an idea, the other person will probably want to know why you ask that and this could give you the chance to tell them a bit about your kinky side.

If you´re afraid that you´ll scare someone away then just be patient, it´s not that you need to know these things on the first date. Besides if you like someone then like someone for who they are, not for having the same interests as you. Of course it´s nice if you both have the same interests, but I don´t think that this is something that is required to make a relationship work. Talking is never a bad thing, so if you want to try something new then it´s not a bad idea to talk about it with your partner. If you have a kinky side then suggest something that turns you on, once again being subtle is the key. For example telling your girlfriend that you´d like the Catwoman outfit and wouldn´t mind seeing her dressed like that is a good way to introduce some roleplay in the bedroom. Of course this isn´t something you introduce to a relationship in the first week, once again patience is often rewarded!

If someone wears a leather jacket or leather pants then that means he or she has a kinky side? If only it was that simple, but no it doesn´t have to mean that someone has a kinky side. Some people just like wearing leather or people that ride on a motorcycle wear leather to stay warm. So it´s a good idea not to assume something purely based on what someone is wearing. But there are outfits that will probably strongly suggest that someone has a kinky side, but you don´t often see people wear that in public.

The best way to meet people with a kinky side is online, people are more open online and there are several sites where kinky people meet eachother. You might even find people you know on such sites, which might be a pleasant suprise. It´s not impossible to find other people like you, but it can sometimes be tough. So instead of trying to look for people just like you, it might be a good idea to meet just friendly people that are fun to hang around with. A kinky side isn´t the most important part of someone!