zondag 21 september 2014

Where do you leave your fetish clothes?

This might seem like a stupid question but for some people this is important, because not everyone knows about their kinky side so they can´t just leave them around the house! But you don´t want to stuff them in a corner, just like most of your clothes (that you value) you want to take good care of these fetish clothes. Because ripped fetish clothes might look sexy to you but not to me!

If you share your house with people that don´t know about your kinky side and prefer that they don´t find out then I would suggest to find a good hiding place for your fetish clothes. This doesn´t have to be a hole in the floor where you keep it but maybe a spot in your closet and put some casual clothes on top of them. Depending on the amount of fetish clothes you might want to have more than just one spot. Of course not all fetish clothing could be considered as weird, I mean some people wear leather pants in public so I doubt that this would raise any suspecion. But latex is usually the type of clothing that does kind of point towards a more kinky side.

Of course you don´t have to hide anything, if you feel confident enough to tell your family and friends about your kinky side then go for it! Just remember that not everyone is always that understanding and that this might have a negative impact on family and friends. I guess you know your family and friends best so you probably know if you can tell them or not, if you´re not certain you might want to investigate how they feel about certain kinky things. Being subtle is key here! If you think that they´re ok with it or don´t care then I doubt that you have any reason to hide your kinky side, but if they are disgusted by kink then you might want to keep your kinky side a secret. At least for the moment, especially if you share the same house.

But what if they do find the fetish clothes? I guess you could lie and say that it´s a costume for a party or Halloween (depending on the time of the year) but I don´t know how well that works and if you want to eventually be honest about your kinky side then you´ll have to admit that you lied at them first. So it´s really up to you, do you want to keep it a secret or do you want to be honest? It feels good to be open about such things, but I guess we all have our own feelings when it comes to what you want others to know and what not.

zaterdag 13 september 2014

Is a name important?

You´d be surprised how important names can be, because when you meet people online then their name (wether that´s his or her real name or a name he or she has chosen to use) is one of the first things you´ll probably see. It´s difficult to take someone serious when he or she calls himself or herself the ultimate Dom/Domme. Of course there is nothing wrong with giving yourself a name that´s nothing like your real name, but remember that certain names might give others a bad first impression of you.

So it pays off to be original? Absolutely! Instead of being Ultimate Dom/Domme, MaSteR of PaiN or Goddes1234 you could come up with something original. This doesn´t just show that you´re original, it also shows that you care about your name and not just pick something random. Sometimes the name someone chooses has a meaning, maybe it´s just a meaning to that person but that can be important. Don´t be surprised if there is a story behind a name someone has chosen, especially when it´s an original name. Some people will even appreciate it when you ask him or her why he or she chose that name. It´s a good way to show that you´re interested in the other person and that you´re not some random person just saying hi.

First impressions are important and your name is one of the first things someone will learn when they meet you, wether that´s online or offline. Especially a name you pick yourself can say something about you, not just how original you are but also what that name means to you. I guess not everyone is willing to share this with just everyone but if you show sincere interest then someone might just tell you.

As a Dom/Domme you want to pick a name that fits well with you, of course you could just call yourself Master or Mistress and then your real name. You don´t have to pick another name, especially when you´re happy with your name or don´t see the importance in changing it then I wouldn´t advice you to do it. But it might be difficult to stick out as Master John or Mistress Jane when there are several Doms/Dommes out there that go by those names. If you decide to use a different name then you might want to choose something that makes people remember you, maybe even want them to get to know you. A name can be quite powerful, never understimate that!

zaterdag 6 september 2014

An unexpected fetish

A lot of times when people ask you about a fetish they expect something like latex or leather, which isn´t that weird because that´s a fetish for a lot of people. But there are of course many more and it´s a bit silly to think that everyone is into latex or leather, because a lot of people are not into that! Even for a Dom/Domme this doesn´t have to be the case, you can be into a lot of things that aren´t latex or leather related.

A friend of mine is into wetsuits, she loves wearing them and seeing others wear them. But she´s not into diving or swimming at all, which might seem a bit odd but you can wear a wetsuit without getting wet....at least on the outside! I´ve heard the same about people that love equestrian outfits, they have nothing with horse or horseback riding but they love wearing the clothes and seeing others wear them. But it´s not surprising that a lot of people do enjoy diving when they have a wetsuit fetish or love horseback riding when they have an equestrian outfit fetish.

I´m sometimes amazed with what turns people on, but I don´t judge anyone because a lot of people have a fetish that could be considered as unusual. I actually applaud people that admit having such a fetish, eventhough sometimes you might want to keep certain things to yourself. Not everyone will understand and it´s safe to say that there will be people that make fun of you for having a certain fetish. It´s a good thing that you can find a lot of like minded people online, even when they don´t share your fetish they might still be willing to participate in it or talk with you about it.

Is it wise to surround yourself with something that turns you on? That depends, because this doesn´t have to be a problem for you. But if you´re turned on most of the day and can´t do your job then it might be a smart idea to do something else or at least find a way to deal with it. Too much of something is hardly ever a good thing, as weird as that might sound to some people. Just remember that something becomes more special and intense if you´re not exposed to it all the time, that might be something you want to keep in mind.