zondag 27 april 2014

What does it mean to be a Dom/Domme?

Some people seem to think that a Dom/Domme is different than the rest of the world, but from my point of view I don´t think it´s really that different. There is no secret handshake and we don´t sleep upside down! Also this illusion of having to behave in a certain way because you´re a Dom/Domme is just silly! There aren´t any rules you have to stick to as a Dom/Domme, well of course the rules that count for us all but not that you can´t date your sub or watch cartoons. It´s your life, do with it what you want!

How do you know that you´re a Dom/Domme? It´s not something that you figure out just like that, I mean you might have a dominant vibe around you but you don´t become a Dom/Domme just out of the blue. Especially when you´re new to BDSM it´s not strange to learn from people that actually do have experience in BDSM, so don´t feel weird to ask questions or just learn from others! But you usually know if you´re a Dom/Domme, it´s a feeling that can´t be mistaken for something else. Still there is something I have to add to that, just because you feel like you´re a Dom/Domme it doesn´t make you one! Of course you can call yourself whatever you want, but it doesn´t automaticly make it so!

One Dom/Domme isn´t the other, which means that every person is unique and for a Dom/Domme that means that if you know one it doesn´t mean you know all! It´s easy to describe a Dom/Domme in a certain way, but there are plenty of Doms/Dommes that aren´t your typical Dom/Domme. Some might not even have thigh high boots or use a whip, it´s not like you get a package in the mail with all the basic needs a Dom/Domme should have. You create your own dominant presence, you make the rules and that should create a unique Dom/Domme.

Of course I can only speak from my own experience, maybe it´s different for other Doms/Dommes but I do think that we all have our own way of handling things. Which is good, because if we would all do things the exact same way then things would get boring real fast! Being a Dom/Domme can mean many things, for some power and for others control. Maybe even a bit of both! The most important part is that you´re comfortable in your life, you are who you are and there is no shame in being a Dom/Domme!

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