It´s easy to say that you´re a Dom/Domme, especially online when anyone could be whatever he or she says. But who says that you are who you say you are? I´m not even talking about men pretending to be women, I´m talking about someone who says he or she is a Dom/Domme while this person isn´t and probably has no idea what it means to be a Dom/Domme.
What really bothers me is that there are subs out there that fall for nonsense these fake Doms/Dommes tell them. Why does it bother me? Because of these fake Doms/Dommes people get the wrong idea and it hurts the BDSM community in the process, sure one or two people don´t make a difference but there are a lot of fake Doms/Dommes out there and that´s not a good thing!
Eventually these fake Doms/Dommes will make mistakes and even a new sub will sooner or later figure out that someone is fake, but it sucks that your first experience with BDSM is tied to lies and stupidity. Worst case scenario would be that it makes you dislike BDSM or makes you hesitiate to continue with BDSM, just because someone ruined it for you. Don´t give up so soon though! Because it´s worth investigating!
Being a Dom/Domme is so much more than holding a whip in your hand and shouting commands, it´s actually quite sad that there are people that think that this sums it all up. BDSM is an experience you can share with others and together you can make magic, no not the type you see in the Harry Potter movies but incredible things that you wouldn´t experience in your every day life. Is that still a bit vague? Good, because if I tell you exactly what it means then what is there left for you to discover!
What I see a lot of fake Doms/Dommes do online is act like an asshole and then expect others to respect you, I don´t know where this works but it fails in most situations. As a Dom/Domme you earn respect and that doesn´t happen by acting like an asshole towards everyone else. Also don´t expect people to always agree with you, just because you´re a Dom/Domme doesn´t mean that everything you say is the truth. The worst thing is when certain people bring their personal drama online, which might be fun for some to read but when you´re trying to talk about things that actually matter it can be quite annoying!
In the end you are your own type of Dom/Domme, there is no need to act in a certain way or else you´re not really a Dom/Domme. You don´t have to wear latex or leather, you don´t even have to use a whip! Just be yourself and if you´re truly a Dom/Domme then that´s all you need to be a Dom/Domme. You don´t wake up one day and decide to be a Dom/Domme, you´re born as one and even when you don´t realize that at first that doesn´t make you less of a Dom/Domme then those that do realize that.