Living in a cage

This might seem odd to you but in truth a lot of us live in a cage, with our daily habits and automatic behaviour we´ve created a cage in which we feel comfortable and protected. But this isn´t about that, this is about people who really live, or at least spend a lot of time, in a real cage. Is this weird? I guess to some people it seems weird, though I must admit that people who spend a lot of time in a cage are a bit extreme. But it´s nothing new in BDSM, to use a cage to take away someones freedom.

Of course there are easier ways to dominate a sub, it doesn´t always include fancy toys or expensive devices. But for those that wish to invest a bit in their hobby, a cage can be a nice addition to your dungeon. With a cage you take away the freedom of your sub, they become completely dependent and they´re at the mercy of their Dom/Domme. Maybe some Doms/Dommes keep cages as decoration, though personally I´d think that would be shame not to use it.

It goes without saying that a cage isn´t for everyone, being in a confined space isn´t something everyone can handle and pushing someone in such a situation can lead to a panic. So make certain that you know what you´re doing before you get in the cage, also as a Dom/Domme don´t force your sub into something that will cause him or her to panic. You might think it´s funny, but if it were you in that situation it would probably be less funny for you.

Some people say that living in a cage changes you. If you´re talking about the hour you spend in it on a daily basis then I can´t take you seriously. But for those that are committed to staying in the cage for months, then I´d say that you might be right. I would like to add to this that it´s not healthy and I wouldn´t recommend it to anyone. Still if you feel like it and you have a Dom/Domme that you trust, then go for it!

The monster within

It´s nothing new for me to hear that I´m a freak, a monster that has no heart or emotions. To be honest with you, I laugh at these comments because I couldn´t care less what others think of me. I know that BDSM isn´t for everyone, I wouldn´t force anyone to like BDSM if they want nothing to do with it. But the thing is, people come to see me and they want to be dominated. Somehow I´m the monster in this, often these people that wish to be dominated are the same ones that scream how wrong it is. I guess we all have to keep our appearances up, a world full of lies and yet in darkness we find the truth.

But let´s analyze it, are we freaks for loving BDSM? Is there something wrong with us? I don´t know, I know what I like and what I want. I´d say that puts me ahead of a lot of other people who seem to be lost somewhere in the middle, they don´t know what they want and they seem to like something else every day. Is it so bad to like BDSM? People make it look and sound as if you´re a monster, but those that judge others and consider themselves better than others are the real monsters. Some even claim to speak in the name of God and yet all they preach is hatred towards anyone or anything that is different then they are.

Some people feel ashamed that they´re turned on by latex or leather, as if it´s wrong to have a fetish. Let me tell you a little secret, we all have our own fetish or more than one. Just because someone doesn´t share your fetish doesn´t mean that this person is weird, though some fetishes might be a bit less ordinary. Still you can´t say that someone is a monster just for liking something else, even if you can´t understand it you could still respect his or her opinion. Though that seems to be difficult for a lot of people.

I´m a sadist, but does that make me truly evil? Well I can say with an honest heart that I don´t steal candy from a baby, so I´m not evil like mister Burns! But I do like to dominate, so that means I´ll use people as furniture or spank them when it suits me. It´s no suprise that many of my subs almost beg me to be spanked, so maybe I´m not the monster some people claim me to be. People seem to fear things they don´t understand, but there is nothing to fear when it comes to BDSM. An open mind and some curiosity can get you far. So don´t be afraid to explore, don´t be afraid what others might think of you. There will always be people that have a different opinion then you, who can´t accept you for who you are. So why waste time to please them? Make your own luck, you don´t need the opinions of others for that!

Sex machines

Now before you´re thinking about a man or a woman that has sex for hours, I´ll let you know what it is I´m talking about. A sex machine is an automated tool that you can have sex with and/or helps you get an orgasm. They come in all kinds of sizes, from something you can hold in your hand to a whole device that you can get in or on. The question I have, is this the future for having sex?

I´ve seen movies like A.I. where you have sex bots, of course thanks to the actors they look good but how realistic is that? Besides do you really want to have sex with a robot? To me it feels unnatural and it´s not something I´d be interested in. But I´ve heard positive opinions when it´s about that, though I suspect most of these opinions are based on ideas that come from movies or comics. I don´t think we´ll see anything like that in our life time, the robots we see now are far from attractive sex machines and more like a practical way of getting it over with. Maybe I´m wrong, maybe it´s the best sex you can ever have, but the question remains is this the future for having sex?

These days cyber sex is nothing new, but it still involves two people. Gender and age might vary, more often than you think, but at least it´s not like you´re having sex with a piece of metal. I´m not a big fan of this either, but for some this is the closest they´ll get to having sex. Though I doubt that is always true, often if people have a bit more confidence in themselves then they can get further then they know. But it´s probably safer behind a screen, pretending to be someone you´re not.

Then you have these virtual worlds where you can make your own character, then that character can interact with other characters controlled by other people. Second Life is such a virtual world, having sex with other people in that virtual world is nothing new and there are actually whole areas where you can get your freak on. I´m not unfamiliar with Second Life but it has lost it´s charm on me years ago, at first it´s exciting and fun to discover this new world but after some time you meet the same type of people and you realize that they´re not so different online as they are offline. Oh sure some might have more to say, but in truth a pervert will always be a pervert!

So no matter what the future brings, right now I´m happy with having sex with other people. I´m certain the machines can wait a century or two!

Blood fetish

You might not believe it but there are a lot of people who have a blood fetish, but most of these people won´t openly admit it because it´s not something that´s tolerated by everyone. Some think a blood fetish is just a pathetic attempt to be a vampire, though I doubt that is true. A fetish doesn´t just mean that you like it, it means that you get turned on by it. Maybe you like to suck blood, you want to smear it on your body or keep it in a bottle. Some carry blood in a tube around their neck, some find this weird and yet others don´t seem to be bothered by it.

We all have blood in our body, so it´s not difficult to find. The problem is talking about it with your partner, it´s not the easiest question to ask if you can cut them and suck on their blood or smear it over your body. It´s no suprise that this will scare off most people or at least freak them out. But for those that walk a less innocent path, who aren´t afraid to visit a darker path, might just find a fetish that makes their wildest dreams come true. Though I wouldn´t put too much fantasy in it, it´s a dangerous fetish and you should know your limits because you don´t accidently want to drain someone. It´s not like you can put it back and they´ll be perfectly fine....

With all the vampire movies and series on tv it´s easy to make the connection that someone with a blood fetish is a vampire lover. Well that´s not always the case, though it´s safe to say that in most cases people with a blood fetish aren´t a stranger to vampires. Still this doesn´t mean that they bite you, often a small knife is used to make a clean cut. From this cut they get some blood and then stitch it up. At least if you´re dealing with someone that knows what he or she is doing. I guess you could try to bite, which doesn´t have to be brutally bloody. But it often leaves a nasty mark and depending where you´ve been bitten, it may raise some questions with your family and friends.

I know that this fetish isn´t for everyone, hell I doubt most people wouldn´t even think of trying it. But it´s kinky and dangerous, something that gets me excited and once you´ve tried it there is always a thirst for more! Just remember, be smart and play it safe or don´t play at all!!!!

Love between a Dom/Domme and a sub

Sometimes when you´re with someone things are nice, so nice even that you don´t wish to be apart from that person. When this person is your sub then it´s obvious that you ask yourself if you could be more than what you are at that moment. Perhaps a relationship is too much for some people, they like to be free and do what they like, but when you have such a good connection with someone isn´t there a chance that you might want to at least try to see where it goes?

It can be tricky, confessing to a sub that you have feelings for him or her. Don´t always expect a sub to be happy about it, because some subs aren´t looking for a relationship and consider the D/s relationship as strictly professional. But it´s not all bad, some subs would love to be in a relationship with their Dom/Domme. It´s not that different from a vanilla relationship, because in the end it all comes down to three things: love, trust and honesty.

When a sub falls in love with his or her Dom/Domme, which happens more often than you would think, then it might be difficult for the sub to confess. Mostly out of fear that it will break the D/s relationship, so some would prefer to keep their feelings a secret and pretend everything is ok. Now I´m not saying that every Dom/Domme would be happy with a sub falling for him or her, but you never know unless you speak your mind. If a Dom/Domme drops you as a sub just because you confessed your feelings to him or her, then that Dom/Domme is not worth your time!

When you have feelings for the other then pay attention during a session, are there signs that the other might be interested in you? It might be difficult to notice when you´re on your hands and knees and get spanked, but when someone has feelings for you they often show it with big or small signs. Not every always confesses just like that, sometimes you´ll have to work for an honest answer. But remember this, love comes to all types of people and Doms/Dommes are no exception!

Naming yourself and/or your sub

It seems easy, just pick a name and put Master or Mistress in front of it. But is it really that easy? I mean you want to have a name that suits you, that says something about you and maybe even defines you. Master Spike and Mistress Poison are names that say something about you, though they´re not that original. But these days it´s difficult to come up with something others haven´t used already, so I guess being original isn´t something you shouldn´t go for in the first place.

Still it doesn´t have to be complicated, naming yourself Master Dan or Mistress Mary is quite alright, to use your own name isn´t a bad thing. Though some might frown upon your lack of creativity, still I doubt anyone would give you a hard time for that. It´s the same for a sub, using your own name is quite alright. But if you want to fit better with your Dom/Domme, then it´s not a bad idea to change it into something that fits with his or her name. For example Master Heaven could have a sub called Cloud or Mistress Hell could have a sub called Ash. It´s not unusual for a Dom/Domme to name his or her sub, I´ve done it more than once and I actually find it fun to do.

But sometimes names must be earned, a sub might need to prove himself or herself before earning the title that his or her Dom/Domme has chosen for him or her. Though the same can be said about a Dom/Domme, I doubt someone would get a lot of respect from others when they pick a name that doesn´t fit with that person or that just sounds incredibly silly. For example Master Pancake or Mistress Pie will probably not be taken seriously at first. Though it´s easy to judge people, just because their name seems silly doesn´t mean they´re not serious about what they do.

As some of you probably know, Minerva is a goddess in Roman mythology. So my name isn´t original, though it fits with me because I can identify myself in the description of the goddess. Also I was named Minerva from a young age by my parents, I guess it kind of stuck and I like it. I´m quite certain there are other Dommes out there with the name Minerva, like I said before I didn´t chose this name for originality. It´s something that fits with me, something that I like and something I can recognize myself in. Pick your name well, it might stick with you for a long time....

Discriminated Doms/Dommes

It wouldn´t be the first time that I´ve heard about a Dom/Domme being bullied just for being who he or she is, what could lead to that person moving away. Suprisingly it´s often the more religious people that seem so hostile towards people who have a love for BDSM. It´s strange that people who are supposed to love their neightbour as much as themself act in such a way against another human being. Unless they consider themselves better than someone who likes BDSM, I guess that could be a possibility but it wouldn´t justify the things they´ve said or the things they´ve done.

Perhaps it´s not smart to live in a community where your love of BDSM isn´t tolerated, but then again you have every right to be involved in BDSM. Others shouldn´t judge or hate you for what you like. But it´s easy to condemn someone for something you don´t understand nor wish to understand. Still it´s not one group that is guilty of this negative behaviour against BDSM lovers, there is almost a deep disgust in some peoples hearts against all that is different then the things they like or they think is right.

Unfortunately that´s not all of the discrimination, some Doms/Dommes or subs are refused because of their skin colour. A white sub that doesn´t want to be dominated by a black Dom/Domme or a black sub that doesn´t want to have a white Dom/Domme. Does it really matter what skin colour you have? BDSM isn´t about skin colour, sure you can roleplay but there isn´t any room for judgement or small minded pricks. People who think limited will never do great things!

It´s actually stupid that some people within the BDSM community would discriminate. There is already more than enough judgement outside the community, do we really need that kind of behaviour and judgement inside the community? I understand if you have a preference, but to refuse someone purely based on the way they look is just wrong. But I shouldn´t even have to mention this, this is something everyone should already know....