In a BDSM relationship or during a session there is a dynamic between a Dom/Domme and his or her sub. The Dom/Domme makes the rules, the sub follows the rules. But of course there isn´t much fun if the sub always follows the rules, so a lot of subs will deliberately disobey so he or she will be punished. As suprising as this might sound, this brings happiness to both the Dom/Domme and the sub. But it´s not always good, not everyone is always happy with the outcome.
Some subs complain that their Dom/Domme doesn´t punish them enough, they feel like they can get away with it and have this empty feeling of satisfaction about it. I think it´s safe to say that a sub doesn´t want to feel like he or she can get away with it. They complain to their Dom/Domme, which has not always the effect a sub would want. Because not every Dom/Domme believes in severe punishment, but then again not every sub is the right fit for a Dom/Domme.
It´s difficult for subs to find the right Dom/Domme for him or her, but because there are so many different types of dominants there should always be someone for you. Communication is important, just as it is in a vanilla relationship. If a sub wishes to be punished more severly, then he or she can make this request to her Dom/Domme. Just don´t expect a Dom/Domme to change his or her routine completely just for one sub. But it shouldn´t be a problem to talk about it, find out how far the other is willing to meet you in your request and maybe you can work something out.
Personally I love to punish my subs, I can be quite cruel but I do have my moments of relaxation. It´s not all blood and tears in my dungeon, that would be a very single minded way of handling subs and I´m far from being single minded! If I have to be honest I like a naughty sub, it shows some character and it makes things a bit more interesting. If I want someone to do everything I say I´ll get a dog!
donderdag 13 juni 2013
dinsdag 11 juni 2013
Born to be bad?
It´s funny to see how some parents seem to think they can change their child by doing certain things. Like a boy can´t play with dolls, sucking on a rubber duck is bad, girls can´t wear camo shirts or have toy guns. As if any of these things will determine what someone will be, there is no proof that you´ll be anything else than what you are from birth. Being gay or loving rubber isn´t something that happens to you somewhere in your life, you´re born that way. Though a lot of people seem to have problems with that, I guess they just can´t accept that their child isn´t the way they wanted him or her to be. But guess what, you don´t have anything to say about that because if someone is happy the way he or she is then that should be enough for a parent!!!!
Instead you see parents telling their son that playing with a doll is bad, you don´t want to be bad do you? No of course not, the child wants to be good and get a nice treat. When parents walk with their child on the street and see a man or woman in latex then they cover his or her eyes, because it´s bad to wear something like that. Girls that have a poster of a woman that kissed another woman on their wall will have to remove it, because that´s not a good example for you. I mean seriously, are there people who believe that? Oh I´m certain that there are people out there who believe that, who think they can change a person.
So what about a boy that wants to be a girl or a girl that wants to be a boy? What do you say? Tough luck, better luck in your next reïncarnation? Oh wait, that´s not for everone....well I guess you´ll just have to adjust living like a man or woman. Isn´t it someones own free will to choose the life he or she wants? Maybe it´s difficult to understand, because you can´t or just don´t want to. But sometimes if you actually listen to your kid, you might find out that he or she isn´t that bad. They´re just exploring, discovering themselves and eventually making their own decisions in life. Something a parent would like to see in their child, that one day they can stand on their own two feet and make it in life.
Was I born to be a latex lover? I don´t know, I do know that the first time I saw latex it was love on first sight. Does that make me a bad person? I don´t know, I do know that I like to spank people and be worshipped by subs. So yes I´m probably a bad person, but then again we all have some good and some bad in us. You don´t always have to understand, sometimes you just have to accept. It´s not all about you, I´d say the happiness of your children is worth a million times more than what you or I think.
Instead you see parents telling their son that playing with a doll is bad, you don´t want to be bad do you? No of course not, the child wants to be good and get a nice treat. When parents walk with their child on the street and see a man or woman in latex then they cover his or her eyes, because it´s bad to wear something like that. Girls that have a poster of a woman that kissed another woman on their wall will have to remove it, because that´s not a good example for you. I mean seriously, are there people who believe that? Oh I´m certain that there are people out there who believe that, who think they can change a person.
So what about a boy that wants to be a girl or a girl that wants to be a boy? What do you say? Tough luck, better luck in your next reïncarnation? Oh wait, that´s not for everone....well I guess you´ll just have to adjust living like a man or woman. Isn´t it someones own free will to choose the life he or she wants? Maybe it´s difficult to understand, because you can´t or just don´t want to. But sometimes if you actually listen to your kid, you might find out that he or she isn´t that bad. They´re just exploring, discovering themselves and eventually making their own decisions in life. Something a parent would like to see in their child, that one day they can stand on their own two feet and make it in life.
Was I born to be a latex lover? I don´t know, I do know that the first time I saw latex it was love on first sight. Does that make me a bad person? I don´t know, I do know that I like to spank people and be worshipped by subs. So yes I´m probably a bad person, but then again we all have some good and some bad in us. You don´t always have to understand, sometimes you just have to accept. It´s not all about you, I´d say the happiness of your children is worth a million times more than what you or I think.
zondag 9 juni 2013
The big bad world
BDSM is nice when you´re in a room with closed curtains, no judgemental eyes and no comments from people who don´t understand or want to understand you. You feel safe and there isn´t anyone or anything that can disturb you while you play with your partner. But don´t you feel restricted? There is a whole world out there and things you can enjoy together, but then you´ll be exposed and it´s where the negative factors will swarm around you. I´m not saying that it´s easy, especially for a first time it can be overwhelming or even scary. Maybe as a dominant it´s easier, as you´ll be the one who holds the leash and you´re not the one walking on your hands and feet. So how do you face the big bad world?
For a first time it might be a good idea to have company, a friend that is also into BDSM or has a love for the same type of fetishes like you (for example a love for wearing latex). If you don´t know anyone else who has the same interests as you and wishes to go outside with you, then it might be a good idea to pick a good time and place. Going outside when it´s not that crowded outside or find a place where there aren´t that many people. It doesn´t really inspire you to go outside again when your first experience was a negative one.
It´s also a good idea to start small, for example wearing thigh high boots over your jeans or with a skirt. But if you wish to try something else you could also put on some rubber gloves with a corset. Sometimes you need to build confidence, it´s not always natural to everyone. Though if this is still too exposed for you then maybe you can wear some fetish clothing underneath your casual clothes, but a good tip would be not to do this in Summer!
Just so you know, people will most likely give comments on your outfit or on your behaviour. Not everyone is like that. But some people like to say what they think, depending on the person this can be right in your face or behind your back. Don´t let them discourage you, because you have every right to be there. There is no rule against wearing fetish clothing and there is no rule against letting your sub out on a leash. Just be prepared to see a lot of judgemental people, those that can´t or won´t understand you and those that wish they were the one on the leash but are too scared!!!!
For a first time it might be a good idea to have company, a friend that is also into BDSM or has a love for the same type of fetishes like you (for example a love for wearing latex). If you don´t know anyone else who has the same interests as you and wishes to go outside with you, then it might be a good idea to pick a good time and place. Going outside when it´s not that crowded outside or find a place where there aren´t that many people. It doesn´t really inspire you to go outside again when your first experience was a negative one.
It´s also a good idea to start small, for example wearing thigh high boots over your jeans or with a skirt. But if you wish to try something else you could also put on some rubber gloves with a corset. Sometimes you need to build confidence, it´s not always natural to everyone. Though if this is still too exposed for you then maybe you can wear some fetish clothing underneath your casual clothes, but a good tip would be not to do this in Summer!
Just so you know, people will most likely give comments on your outfit or on your behaviour. Not everyone is like that. But some people like to say what they think, depending on the person this can be right in your face or behind your back. Don´t let them discourage you, because you have every right to be there. There is no rule against wearing fetish clothing and there is no rule against letting your sub out on a leash. Just be prepared to see a lot of judgemental people, those that can´t or won´t understand you and those that wish they were the one on the leash but are too scared!!!!
vrijdag 7 juni 2013
Sex with strangers
The old idea is to get to know someone, go on a few dates and then when you like him or her and the other likes you then you can be intimate with eachother. Though going back far enough you´d first have to get engaged and after that get married before there was any thought of sex. Of course not everyone would do that, at least I can´t imagine everyone was so correct when it came to having sex. But what about now? Do you still go on a few dates before you make a move? Or when you´re at a party and meet someone interesting, do you find the nearest place to be intimate and be done with it?
It seems naughty, sex in public and/or sex with a stranger. But is it really that special? It´s not like your doing anything different, at least when you look at the part where you have sex. Still some people find it exciting to have sex in puclic, the chance of being caught raises the tension and with that maybe also the climax during sex. But what about having sex with a stranger? How does that make things more interesting?
I think it´s safe to say that a lot of people would first like to get to know someone before they want to be intimate with him or her. I can´t blame them, you don´t want to share something nice like sex with just anybody, not to forget the risk of getting sexual transmitted diseases. But maybe that´s where the excitement is, the danger of it all and that once again might stimulate sex in a positive way. Though I doubt that would work for everyone.
Still the question would remain with whom you´d want to have sex, because I doubt it would be just any stranger. I´d say appearance would matter, if someone looks terrible then that´s not something that would attract you to him or her. Personality would be less important, you hardly know the person or not at all so if it´s about just having sex I doubt you´d care about that. So no matter how much your parents (or anyone else for that matter) tells you that it´s not about the outside but about the inside of a person, I´d say that in some situations that´s not true. I´d like to believe that it matters, but not in every situation.
It seems naughty, sex in public and/or sex with a stranger. But is it really that special? It´s not like your doing anything different, at least when you look at the part where you have sex. Still some people find it exciting to have sex in puclic, the chance of being caught raises the tension and with that maybe also the climax during sex. But what about having sex with a stranger? How does that make things more interesting?
I think it´s safe to say that a lot of people would first like to get to know someone before they want to be intimate with him or her. I can´t blame them, you don´t want to share something nice like sex with just anybody, not to forget the risk of getting sexual transmitted diseases. But maybe that´s where the excitement is, the danger of it all and that once again might stimulate sex in a positive way. Though I doubt that would work for everyone.
Still the question would remain with whom you´d want to have sex, because I doubt it would be just any stranger. I´d say appearance would matter, if someone looks terrible then that´s not something that would attract you to him or her. Personality would be less important, you hardly know the person or not at all so if it´s about just having sex I doubt you´d care about that. So no matter how much your parents (or anyone else for that matter) tells you that it´s not about the outside but about the inside of a person, I´d say that in some situations that´s not true. I´d like to believe that it matters, but not in every situation.
woensdag 5 juni 2013
Gagged and loving it!
Do you remember a time in your life when you had to travel with the bus or train and some people would keep talking until you get at your destination? Though it´s not limited to public transportation, no these people talk everywhere. It´s nothing interesting and yet you´re stuck listening to these annoying people because you forgot to bring your music to listen to, which makes the bus or train ride that much longer and definately more irritating. I always wished I had some gags with me so I could stop them from talking, just shoving it in their stupid mouths and watch them squirm. I guess I´m showing my internal sadist here, but people like that deserve it.
But gags aren´t just helpfull for annoying travellers, you can use them on your sub as well. Some will actually ask you for it. Though some people ask for a lot, you can´t always give them what they want but with a gag I think you can help them out. Still there is a problem for some people to bring up a gag in a session, do you force it on someone or do talk about it first before adding it into the play session? Once again it would definately depend on your relationship with your partner, are you willing to risk a good thing by doing something unexpected that someone might or might not like? I would definately bring it up before doing anything with the gag, seems obvious but I´ve seen Doms/Dommes that just forced it on their subs. Let´s just say that didn´t work out well for everyone, because it´s too much for some people and never go beyond your limit when it only brings out bad things!
Just like handcuffs a gag will take away some freedom, which is good when you´re dominating someone. I don´t think a lot of people realize how much you use your mouth during sex. Though people who only use the standard missionary position and afterwards are done seem to be fine without, but they seem to miss out on more than just good sex. Some Doms/Dommes seem to be fine without, when they use mind control (not actual mind control of course, just them telling a sub what he or she can or can´t do) to limit a sub in his or her actions. But for those who prefer to use toys in their play session, then a gag is a wonderful way of telling someone to shup up and bent over. Though that might be a topic for another time....
But gags aren´t just helpfull for annoying travellers, you can use them on your sub as well. Some will actually ask you for it. Though some people ask for a lot, you can´t always give them what they want but with a gag I think you can help them out. Still there is a problem for some people to bring up a gag in a session, do you force it on someone or do talk about it first before adding it into the play session? Once again it would definately depend on your relationship with your partner, are you willing to risk a good thing by doing something unexpected that someone might or might not like? I would definately bring it up before doing anything with the gag, seems obvious but I´ve seen Doms/Dommes that just forced it on their subs. Let´s just say that didn´t work out well for everyone, because it´s too much for some people and never go beyond your limit when it only brings out bad things!
Just like handcuffs a gag will take away some freedom, which is good when you´re dominating someone. I don´t think a lot of people realize how much you use your mouth during sex. Though people who only use the standard missionary position and afterwards are done seem to be fine without, but they seem to miss out on more than just good sex. Some Doms/Dommes seem to be fine without, when they use mind control (not actual mind control of course, just them telling a sub what he or she can or can´t do) to limit a sub in his or her actions. But for those who prefer to use toys in their play session, then a gag is a wonderful way of telling someone to shup up and bent over. Though that might be a topic for another time....
maandag 3 juni 2013
Horny and drunk
This doesn´t seem like an unusual combination, though it can lead to a lot of trouble or sometimes to funny situations. I have a friend that almost always becomes horny when she´s drunk or maybe she´s always horny but it starts to show when she´s drunk. Anyway when I´m the designated driver I have to be the one that carries her home, but she loves to stick her tongue in my ear when I´m doing that. Maybe you think that sounds cute, well it´s mostly wet and not pleasant when someone smells like they had one too many. She just remembers it as having the best French kiss in ages, but then again what do you remember when you´re drunk?
So what happens when you and your friend are both drunk? Well that´s where the awkwardness starts, waking up in the same bed with no clothes on can be quite alarming.Though I believe that I´m not the only one to whom that has happened. But it´s no suprise to me that people wouldn´t speak that open about it, probably because they´ve sworn never to speak about it again. Unless their friend is hot and maybe when that person had a crush on him or her. It´s one hell of an ice breaker though, waking up in the same bed naked and then just say: "hello".
But what makes people so horny when they´re drunk? Is it because they don´t feel their limits as strong as they would otherwise? I´d say that comes pretty close to the truth, still going from having fun with your friend to sleeping with him or her is a big step. It could put a dent in a friendship but it could also be the start of a relationship, I guess it really would depend on the people involved and the situation they´re in.
I´m not saying that you should never drink alcohol, though that would be a good way to prevent yourself for doing something stupid. But then again you only live once and why waste the good years of your life staying sober? Still it´s not a bad idea to take it easy, every now and then. When you´re young you do stupid things, if all goes according to plan then you should learn from those stupid things. So in a way if you never do stupid things you don´t learn much or do you? Anyway have fun and remember when you feel the urge to stick your tongue in your friend´s ear, don´t do it!!!!
So what happens when you and your friend are both drunk? Well that´s where the awkwardness starts, waking up in the same bed with no clothes on can be quite alarming.Though I believe that I´m not the only one to whom that has happened. But it´s no suprise to me that people wouldn´t speak that open about it, probably because they´ve sworn never to speak about it again. Unless their friend is hot and maybe when that person had a crush on him or her. It´s one hell of an ice breaker though, waking up in the same bed naked and then just say: "hello".
But what makes people so horny when they´re drunk? Is it because they don´t feel their limits as strong as they would otherwise? I´d say that comes pretty close to the truth, still going from having fun with your friend to sleeping with him or her is a big step. It could put a dent in a friendship but it could also be the start of a relationship, I guess it really would depend on the people involved and the situation they´re in.
I´m not saying that you should never drink alcohol, though that would be a good way to prevent yourself for doing something stupid. But then again you only live once and why waste the good years of your life staying sober? Still it´s not a bad idea to take it easy, every now and then. When you´re young you do stupid things, if all goes according to plan then you should learn from those stupid things. So in a way if you never do stupid things you don´t learn much or do you? Anyway have fun and remember when you feel the urge to stick your tongue in your friend´s ear, don´t do it!!!!
zaterdag 1 juni 2013
Silly Doms/Dommes
Have you ever read profiles or messages from certain ´special´ Doms/Dommes? These super stars live in a world where they think that they´re all that, that they´re superior towards you. Sure a Dom/Domme dominates a sub, but to actually feel better than another person is just stupid. Of course in roleplay you can play this type of Dom/Domme, but just keep it in the play session and once you´re done you can stop. Though that seems to be difficult for some people.
Half of the time these people don´t even look so superior, I guess when you´re beautiful and all your life people have been worshipping you then it´s difficult to stay ´normal´. But when people who can´t even write proper words tell me that they´re so superior then I can´t help but laugh, it´s nice that they´re confident but sometimes it´s just ridiculous.
You should treat your sub with respect, he or she is still a person and chooses to serve you. Some people seem to forget that last part, that it´s a choice and not something that they´re forced to do. These people don´t even see or hear other people laughing at them when they behave in their superior status, especially vanilla people seem to find it funny to see some overweight blob or barbie doll acting like they´re God or something like that.
But in all honesty I think people like that just give Doms/Dommes a bad name, which makes it even harder for BDSM to be taken seriously and accepted. But I guess every idiot can hold a whip in his or her hand and think that they´re so much better than the rest. I just wish they act like that in their bedroom and not in public....
Half of the time these people don´t even look so superior, I guess when you´re beautiful and all your life people have been worshipping you then it´s difficult to stay ´normal´. But when people who can´t even write proper words tell me that they´re so superior then I can´t help but laugh, it´s nice that they´re confident but sometimes it´s just ridiculous.
You should treat your sub with respect, he or she is still a person and chooses to serve you. Some people seem to forget that last part, that it´s a choice and not something that they´re forced to do. These people don´t even see or hear other people laughing at them when they behave in their superior status, especially vanilla people seem to find it funny to see some overweight blob or barbie doll acting like they´re God or something like that.
But in all honesty I think people like that just give Doms/Dommes a bad name, which makes it even harder for BDSM to be taken seriously and accepted. But I guess every idiot can hold a whip in his or her hand and think that they´re so much better than the rest. I just wish they act like that in their bedroom and not in public....
Abonneren op:
Posts (Atom)