zaterdag 12 oktober 2013

Can spanking turn into abuse?

I´ve been getting this question a lot from people who want to try spanking with their partner, which is actually not a dumb question. I could be political about it and tell you a whole story and then give you the answer, but I´ll be direct here and tell you that it´s not like that. If someone truly wishes to spank you then it doesn´t turn into abuse, if someone abuses you then there is an intention for that and that´s not awakened because you allow someone to spank you.

But that´s easy to say, I mean one person isn´t the other and what if someone does get more violent with every spanking session? I think with spanking it´s about finding someones limit, how much can someone take and how good are you in finding that limit? I´ve heard stories about people that were quite unhappy with the spanking they received from their partner, because he or she wasn´t even getting close to the limit of the other. It can be scary at first, because you don´t want to permanently hurt your partner but at the same time you are trying something that arouses him or her and probably also yourself. The trick is to communicate, if someone remains silent you don´t know if you´re doing it right or wrong and if you should step it up. But on the other hand it´s also important that the person who is being spanked is very honest, when you can´t take more then just be honest about it. It´s not a contest and nobody thinks you´re amazing just because you can last longer than someone else, that´s not what spanking is about! But getting back to violence, it´s not impossible for someone to let loose some violence in a spanking session. But if this is controlled then it shouldn´t be a problem, still it´s not something I would welcome in a spanking session. You don´t spank someone to blow off some steam, it´s for pleasure!

Is it silly to be scared for your first spanking session? Well as I mentioned above, if someone spanks you for his or her arousal then I shouldn´t be too worried. Just make certain that you made some rules before you begin, also be very clear what you want and to use a safeword if things get too rough for you. There is no shame if you have had enough after a few hits, especially for a first time it can be quite intense! But even with all the rules and conversations things can go wrong, sometimes that´s an accident and sometimes it´s actually on purpose. That´s why I also recommend you do your spanking sessions with someone you trust and that you know for quite some time. It also helps if the one that does the spanking has some experience, but we all have to learn it at some point so don´t feel discouraged just because someone isn´t that experienced. It´s important that you both have fun, not just the one that is being spanked but also the person that does the spanking. It´s actually cruel to let your partner spank you when he or she doesn´t really want to do that, so make certain before you even think of starting a spanking session that you´re both a 100% behind this!

If you do feel like a spanking is getting out of control then don´t feel ashamed to stop, the moment you don´t feel comfortable with it anymore is the moment you should stop. Don´t let someone convince you to keep going when you really want to stop, because it´s not just about the other having fun! If someone truly hurts you and you want to stop, then make it perfectly clear to him or her! If the person that spanks you is still hurting you then it´s probably a good idea to get the hell away from that person! But I´d say in a loving relationship where spanking is quite new I wouldn´t worry about abuse, especially if your partner has never shown signs of that before. Just be careful and communicate, I´m certain that everything will work out just fine!

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