This might seem weird to you but personally I don´t find this weird, because when two people both have an interest in kinky activities then why must one of them be a dominant? The most important part is that you have fun together! Maybe you´re suprised to hear this from a dominatrix, but a dominatrix isn´t all that I am. Sometimes it´s just fun to have a good time with friends, sure I can be bossy but then again that´s probably one of the reasons my friends love me. But it can go further than just friendly play, some people have a good relationship where there is no dominant present. If you keep eachother in balance then why must one exceed the other?
I´ve always been fascinated by people who have a kinky relationship but there is no sign of a D/s relationship, of course I mean with a kinky relationship more than just wearing that shiny outfit every weekend! Maybe it´s even easier without a dominant, I can´t say that I have a lot of experience in these kind of relationships. Because most people I´ve been in a relationship with clearly wanted me to be the dominant one, something I gladly accept. But wouldn´t it be nice to just have a good time with someone you care deeply for? You would be two good friends that explore and discover things about the other and about yourself. Perhaps that´s the best way to start in BDSM, not directly looking for a Dom/Domme but just finding someone like you who is new and just to have fun with.
Now don´t get me wrong, as a dominatrix I´ll always hold a big love for what I do! But as I mentioned above, it´s not all that I am. It would be pretty boring and simple if that would define all that I am. Maybe above all I´m a lover of kinky things, so that probably makes me a kinkster in my heart. In a way isn´t the love for kinky things that gets us interested in BDSM? It doesn´t even have to be all of it, but at least it all starts with a love for something different. Deep down inside you usually know what you are, but I don´t think the world is black and white. So that means that not everyone is either a Dom/Domme or a sub. Having a love for shiny things probably makes you a kinkster, playing with others in shiny things makes you a naughty kinkster and having someone lick your boots as you spank them probably makes you a Dom/Domme. Well that´s a simple way to put it, but at least that creates a picture in your mind.
So when you meet someone and he or she is into kinky things just like you, then don´t be alarmed if you or the other has no dominant side. Because a love for kinky things doesn´t mean someone needs to dominate. On the other side it also means that just because you like kinky things, it doesn´t directly make you a Dom/Domme! Some things you know by heart, other things you learn through experience. Whatever it is that you are, I hope you´re having fun with the things you do!