Lately I´ve been hearing negative things about Doms/Dommes that are only a Dom/Domme at home, but when they go outside then they drop their role. So let me first say that I didn´t think being a Dom/Domme was a role, sure you have roleplay but being a Dom/Domme is more than playing a role. Also is it so wrong that you´re only a Dom/Domme inside the house? I mean if you have family, friends or neighbours that don´t understand it and most likely won´t accept you as a Dom/Domme, then I can understand why you wouldn´t feel comfortable outside the house. It´s not that as a Dom/Domme that you have no fears or hesitations, in the end you´re human just like the rest.
Some people seem to think that being Dom/Domme is like a switch you can turn on and off, well I can say with certain that this isn´t the truth. You´re either a Dom/Domme or you´re not, sure you can be a switch but the point is that there isn´t an off button for being a Dom/Domme. Then there are some that believe that if you don´t wear certain clothes you´re not a Dom/Domme, as if every Dom/Domme wears latex or leather. I know that there is a stereotype for the typical Dom/Domme, but that doesn´t mean that this is how you have to act or look to be accepted as a Dom/Domme.
Just because you only show your Dom/Domme side in the bedroom, doesn´t mean that you´re less dominant than a Dom/Domme who shows his or her dominant side outside the house. It´s not a contest who the most dominant is, though some would like to believe that it is. Though just putting on some thigh high boots, with a whip in hand and commanding other people doesn´t really make you a Dom/Domme. Let´s just say if you have doubts if you´re a Dom/Domme, then you´re probably not one, though you could be a switch which could give you some confusion. Everything isn´t always that clear, at least not as clear as you would like it to be. Sometimes you have to discover and explore, find out who you are and what you like.
So this whole you´re less dominant just because you´re only a Dom/Domme in the bedroom makes no sense, actually it would only prove that the one saying it probably knows less about domination and being a Dom/Domme than the one who he or she accuses. Love and respect your fellow Dom/Domme, they might do things different than you but does that really make them less than you?